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Asominate May 2020
Always watching,
Never seen,
Always is
And always been.
Standing by,
We watch worlds collapse.
It's our fault,
Again we relapse
Empire May 2020
tw self harm



50 days since my last episode...
It’s not much... but it’s progress
But tonight... tonight I’d throw it away
To hold a knife in my hand
To graze my skin with it
To watch myself bleed
To bandage my wounds...


I want it. All of it.
The only thing stopping me is that number...

50 days

I don’t want to tell everyone I’ve failed
That I was weak yet again
But so badly I want to be weak...
It’s going to happen eventually...
Isn’t relapse inevitable?
Who knows when I’ll see my therapist again...
There are already scars to hide
So what’s a few more?

I could talk myself right into it

And I ******* want to
Update: had to reset my counter tonight... I’m so sorry to all of you who have been so amazingly supportive... I’m so sorry
LUSTFORLIFE May 2020
It feels like drowning.
Endless waves of emptiness fill your body.
You gasp for air as everyone around you watches,
but no one makes a sound.
You try to swim to the surface,
so desperate for a quick breath.
The grasp it has on you is too strong - you sink.
You’re left to drown in an ocean of despair;
your blue lips inhale words of self-hatred like oxygen.
Your instincts tell you to kick, to jump, to fight,
hopelessly searching for any bit of relief.
You can no longer hold your own breath.
You suffocate.
- what depression feels like// I.M
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2020
Every time I attempt to change
Find myself somehow stuck
A period of indecision
Or pit of endless bad luck

Temptation is a persistent *******
Keeping on a high ledge
Put a stick in my moving spokes
Taking away the edge

Medicine will not let me run too far
Invading corners of my mind
Coerced into staying here
Relief I only briefly find

I saw a future temporarily
Moment quickly burned out
Was making steady progress
Turned around and went a different route
About relapsing
Asominate Apr 2020
Relapse
Collapse into my arms
And just relax
Collide into in my heart
Even though you're scared
You will find no harm here
Even as you
Relapse
Sometimes I just want to feel safe even as I relapse.
PEARL SMOKE Apr 2020
Im on a soft spin
Momma I let the devil in.
Mother Mary pray for me,
don't let Luther win.
its a substance I replace,
to get some feelings to swim.
in my veins to my brains
I love the way he sings.
I fell again but not low, I'm able to swim.
Yazad Tafti Mar 2020
you are the LEDs on my christmas tree
the candles on my menorah
during diwali the flame on my divaa
the flashlight for the lone camper's midnight stroll
the headbeam for the train pursuing it's iron railed tunnel

you are the sun for the albino person
you are the laser to an innocently peaking child
the 1,000,000 lumens to dracula
the grenade to the amputated war veteran

you are the reason for my pupils to dilate

you make me wish my iris never stopped constricting
i did ******* again ...smh **** what a waste of this ****** life
Empire Mar 2020
tw self harm


Blood all over
I’m glad
I’m content
Satisfied
It’s only right when I’m wounded
Relapse was inevitable
I don’t even feel guilty...
I just want more....
Empire Mar 2020
tw self harm


Ha... I’m bleeding
Once again
I can’t even feel it
Should it hurt?
Have I gone numb?

Ah... there we go...
A bit of sting....
And the red....
All that red....
I just.... I wanna open it
I want it open.... flowing
I want the blood out of me
I want it out!!
It’s been about a month since I last cut... I missed it....
Lara Mar 2020
Mum told me a story
Before I went to bed
That I will remember
‘Till my day of death

It’s about a girl
So careful and sweet
Walking towards home
Through some poorly streets

She saw a little girl
Being way too cold
So she gave the little girl
Her big warm coat

Then she saw a boy
That broke her heart
‘Cause he was so cold
She gave him her scarf

She gave away
Her socks and sweats
Until she had only
Her underwear left

Looking at the stars
While softly singing
She heard the 12
o’Clock bells ringing

The stars began falling
Golden stars on her feet
‘Cause this selfless little girl
Was also in need

With these gold stars
She bought new clothes
And gave them away
Like she did before

The stars kept fallin’
Every single day
And ‘till her death
She kept giving away

Now up in the sky
She shines bright
As she falls down
Every night

With her falling comes a purpose
Falling is part of the universe, it’s okay
Instagram: @laravdvelden
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