And little did she know;
Before she rejected him,
He promised, to give her his
Whole, entire, heart and
Everything more.

Your emotional insecurity is none of my concern
An unrequited love on life’s funeral pyre does burn
A thousands dreams over a hundred days led to our demise
Restrained and so constricted an epitaph to your lies
A once bright sun has died and turned a blackest black
The remnants of my sanity has begun to crack
Silent screams echo in the recesses of your mind
Fragments of remembering’s of a love you left behind
The banality of my existence on show for all to see
Destiny sings it’s hallowed song I ache to be set free

Like a wild lone creature,
I fell in your trap.
An injured heart I have,
That pains like a soul,
Full of your thoughts.

I want to escape,
But no, I cannot!
Paralysed…

When you are watching me…
And doing nothing…
Not saying anything…
Just looking at my scares,
The silence of your heart…
Insanely lethal.

When I’m making sad noises..
While you can see them well…

When I’m giving painful looks…
While you can feel them swell…

Yet all that you do is
Just looking
Coldness…

Please…

Don’t let me be like that!
Don’t let me too long…
For it might mean,
That your are cruel..
And the thought of it..
That you are like that..
Hurts me even more…
Than the truth about you…

I beg you, free me…
Take me in your hands…
Slowly cure my heart..
Slowly with balsam..
For the burns feel good..
If they’re caused by you…

Put your hands on my ears…
Stroke them with compassion…
For the sound of your hands,
Feels like a deep ocean…

Take me, take me home..
For my home is you..
And the thoughts and feelings…
That I am loving you

Please, I don’t deserve this...
Let me, let me go.
And if you don’t like me
Let me limp away…
Far from your coldest traps..
Colder than your heart
Let me rote alone..
Agonise and die…

Say something with your eyes.
Otherwise, let me go..

i'm the monster hiding under my bed
lurking just below the placid
surface of my own personal Loch Ness
and praying that i remain
a legend of the local townspeople
masquerading as those who
call me friend and lover
those perfectly content to take in
my slow crumbling facade
and name it history
roman roads meandering across
my features the ruts of those
early onset wrinkles which
threaten to out me
to scream out my sickness
a diagnosis of malevolence
hiding in my tightly wound double
helices the ladders i climb
as though there were salvation waiting
at the top
though Sisyphus would understand
my plight but more so
comprehend my incessant pursuit
of a false flag promise of
redemption.

but i can't escape the prison of my skin
my identity the crystal lattice of
epidermis holding in
the supernova of destruction and death
the famine after my insatiable need
consumes all nourishment for
i'm too much
too much need
much too much malignancy
spreading like a cancerous mass
consuming and metabolizing all that
is good and innocent.

do not extend to me
your tendrils of sympathy
of compassion
look upon me as the condemned
war criminal on the stand and
the Hague chilled to immobility by
the tales of my horror.

put me to death and think no more
of the fallacy i perpetuated
for decades spent offering
silent pleas for intercession and yet
unable to ever escape my transgressions
which live below the surface
in the deepest parts of me
intricately woven into those essential
parts of myself
a tumor grown into my heart
too close to the life-sustaining
machinery for any to dare extraction.

but i could **** every part of me
and one day i will
as i pay and pay my way to salvation
clad in sack cloth and my feet bare
praying for smoldering coals to
traverse searching for pain
pain to wash me clean
pain to fill the need for punishment
because i've learned that even
punishment which provides no
redemption
gives me the appearance of at least
seeking that which
i know i'll never have.

and after all these years
do i really want it at all?
would i forego any more pain?
could i even believe that i
have been forgiven?
that my slate had truly been
wiped clean?

even if everyone watched me
be washed back to infantile innocence
i would still know
always
my inner stain spread through my
entrails like some perverse
Rorschach test for reading by an
oracle who could proclaim
after my death
that the beast had been slain and
now they welcome the eternal
kingdom of god.

but do not call me martyr.

do not send pilgrims to my grave
do not consign me to Apocrypha
do not dilute
or contaminate the
sacrosanct of some
even if i always believe it was
superstitious *******.

they believe it to be real
to be holy
and myself the human stain should
never be near.

burn my bones and burn them again
grind them to dust and jettison them
to the remotest ends of the earth
where no foot treads
and my disease might not spread.

i flay the skin off my own bones
so no one else must.

do not touch me

leperous disaster
harbinger of the end of all things.

let me starve and rot
the putrid scent of my decay
finally dissolving the mask
and in my death i can't even
lower my face
dead eyes can't look away
but you couldn't know
that's how they've always looked.

By Arcassin Burnham


Country roads seemed more cleaner than the first time,
Looking back , how could we have lost so much of this time,
Mashing reality's guilt..
cloudy days with matching stilts..

Worth,
i know i'm worthless,
countless times i had to pick myself up from the times
you've promised me and let me down,
And I'm just like please , why did you leave,
you said you'd come back,
Again..
And this hatred lingers for as long as you live,
it'll never lack,
My friend..
There's nothing you could possibly say to gain my love,
you messed up,
this time..
I hope you know where you went wrong in the situation,
and get stuck,
in time..

You were a mistake in disguise picking at my soul,
thinking back , to the things you used to do and the things you told,
fake relations that we build,
if only time would just stay still,

Worth,
i know i'm worthless,
countless times i had to pick myself up from the times
you've promised me and let me down,
The kissing , hugging , touching , telling me you love me
was a lie miss backwoods..
And I'm just like please , why did you leave,
you said you'd come back,
Again..
And this hatred lingers for as long as you live,
it'll never lack,
My friend..
There's nothing you could possibly say to gain my love,
you messed up,
this time..
I hope you know where you went wrong in the situation,
and get stuck,
in time.

She could see her arm through the sleeves of her dress
They rested so far from one of the sides
And yet the mirror said she needed to be more light.
Most of the days
She was afraid she would be too much
For a guy to own
Her heart had long been strangled
By her load
And so she no longer ate.
But, here she was months later
Owning half of what she had
And yet carrying too much ,
Her heart was a bit afloat
But still dragged was her soul
For the mirror said
She needed to be more hollow.

Her ribs poked her chest,
She felt them with her fingers
When she was in her room alone,
No one could see them,
She wouldn't let anyone so close
But she wondered if they could feel those bones
Maybe they would have considered her light.
Undressed after a bath
She would turn around at the mirror
Gazing at her backbone- gazing back .
It was all so clear now
You could almost count the bones
Yet the mirror said she must be a bit more hollow.
Her hands were now so much more thin
You could hold them in the stretch of your thumb
And maybe your little finger
And even though you would laugh at her length
She would be scared by your touch
So that you do not know.

Of all the things she lost,
Her sullen cheeks to her coat,
Her smile was the thing she misses most.
Now her smile was too empty,
Previously it was fastened to her face
Now the hollow mouth almost appears
As if her smile would just fall of,
She is now shy to smile
She often wonders back to the day
When that guy had said
She had a beautiful smile.
But you wouldn't know
Photographs never really captured her
Now not anymore.

She often stumbles now,
Lighter to her feet
She does get up herself,
But she wonders now and then
If it had been because most of her
Was now gone.
So vacantly, emptily she walks
A few watch her go,
The world is the mirror
With no memory of the past,
It still calls her heavy
With no appreciation of what she has become.
She has lost herself
And the world needs her
To lose herself more.
She wonders if it's time
To have their demands finally denied.
How much more could she afford to lose ?
How long until she dies?

As my eye catches the glimmer
of the coming dusk of my life,
I thank you for reminding me how it feels to love,
and be rejected,
One more time.