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storm siren Jan 2017
If I were colder
I would be bolder
And if I were stronger
It would take longer
To break me apart.

But I am
Who I am
And I'd rather be me
Than anyone else.

For the friends that hold
My heart
Don't know of the part
They play
That keeps the darkness
At bay.

And my light
My love
Knows that I am his
And that he is mine,
And in time
I will be whole and healed.
AJ Jan 2017
The sunshine beats down
******* your
Rough skin
You told yourself
To give up
Blood and sin

Down you said
You'd try to ****
The pain
After all the times you said
You'd find
Your way

Times like these
They never seem
To stick
Wash off all the tears
You tried so hard
To flick

You never thought
You'd ever be
This sick
What'll you say now
When the strings are cut
Too quick

After all there's
Nothing else left
To be said
Let the water rush
Over your sunken
Chest
freeing the mind Jan 2017
Lost,
In a mind which apparently is my own,
Thoughts,
Racing at an unimaginable speed,
Fear,
Of myself and my own surroundings,
Sleep,
A non-existent part of the day,
Body,
Trembling like the finest strings on a guitar,
Breathing,
Like a fish washed upon the shore gasping for some air,
Calmness,
A far-fetched feeling currently not in reach
something small and quick written during my last anxiety attack
Tiarnán Murphy Jan 2017
Clouds have passed
The darkness too
The pain is easing
There's work to do
storm siren Jan 2017
I know I have been bent
Into a different shape
But sometimes it's hard to tell
If I can ever go back
To my previous shape.

And maybe I can't.

And maybe I don't want to.

Maybe my lines
Just need to be more defined
And maybe I'll be
Just fine.

I am not the same shape
I was before.
I have jagged edges
And indents and scuffs,
But I am better
As the shape I am now.

It is unfair of me to ask you
To love this shape compared to the one
You once knew.

But if you are
To find a way
To love it
The same,
Then please,
Go ahead.

"I have been bent and broken. But, I hope, into a better shape." - Charles Dickens, Great Expectations
storm siren Jan 2017
Because there are moments
Where you feel defeated
Because the past
Feels like it weighs more than you can lift.

And when I dream,
I dream of those who tried to destroy me,
And I am not to be destroyed
By any God nor man,
I am much too stubborn for that.

Though when I dream,
I sometimes dream of the day I'll finally lose you,
And I say finally because that day is sure to come.

And I have seen hell,
And I have greeted Death,
And I have defied him
And denied his offers.

Have I ever told you
Of when I was a child?
When I was admitted into the hospital
For two weeks or longer
Because I was so sick
That if I had gotten there in later
I wouldn't be here,
And I would never have met you.

And since that brief encounter
With death
I had forever since been confused
And fascinated by Death.

Maybe Death only steals us away,
Because he is lonely.
That is a thought I once had.

That Death is terribly lonely,
And it has skewed his selfless thoughts
Into selfish ones.

But he releases us,
Into Otherworlds
Upon teaching us
What we had to learn from here.

There are parts to my life
In which I have seen hell,
And I have felt it.
In which I have stood up to face it,
And it has left me bent in a way
That I'm not sure if I can go back
To how I was before.
storm siren Jan 2017
There are many ways in which a person can be broken,
And many ways in which a person can be healed.

And pain shows itself in various platforms.

Some people numb their pain through entertainment, or ***, or drugs.
Other people allow their pain to be felt,
Through music or writing or art.

Some people lash out because of their broken parts.
Whether it be through rage, physical or verbal,
Or tears that tear them open.

And the only way to truly heal and learn from
The things that break you,
Is to feel them.

So hold the memories of what broke you close to your heart,
Remember the things that were taken with a grain of salt.
Maybe they weren't as good as you wanted them to be,
As you remember them to be,
Maybe it wasn't all it was cracked up to be,
But it was still there,
And it was still yours,
And it was still important.

It is important to mourn,
Important to grieve,
To remember the loss,
Because it was part of you.

And maybe that's what pain is entirely.
It's all some kind of loss.

But we gain new parts of ourselves
After every loss.
And maybe that's important.
C F Tinney Jan 2017
I found a pair of shoes while walking
across a bridge like I often do
Neatly placed below the rail
as if they expected you
but you shall not return

I found them on my stroll to town
which I take on Sunday am
Neatly placed there
as though you’d come again
but you shall see them no more

I dare not disturb them
These shoes which do not know
that I gazed upon your presence
In broken disregard in waterway below
for you shall see them no more

Instead I walked onward
with errands far too many
And attempted not think of how your shoes
reminded me of me
and my desire to join you there

and be seen no more
Poem speaks for itself
A fragile little thing. Xylophone ribs that heaved as coral reefs beneath a hurricane, and a prominent spine, a mountain range down a plain of pale white. Mountain range cutting against a pale plain in sharp and jagged ridges, a volatile and fearful structure, shifting with the quakes that came from the planet's heart, a flighty beat. Gashes in the land, deep fissures in his earth from tremors of stress in his core, bringing more fractures and gashes in the delicate white frame.  Two brown moons, always wide and full. He was a dying planet, orbitting a dying star that pounded within, a ticking bomb awaiting a cataclysm; and such a force came to the withered shell of a planet. A supernova burst forth, and the fragile planet crumbled into nothing, thin fragile bones blowing away as dust among the stars, along with his brown moons and plains of sickly white. This was a death, and a beginning, too.

From the dust of his bones he reformed, the gashes of his tremors and quakes becoming hills and gentle ridges upon the healthy soil of his new skin. His spine no longer an unforgiving range of sharp bones and discomfort, now settled comfortably beneath his earth. A true structure to be relied upon, one that will not bend beneath force. His brown moons are warm and quiet, calming the tidal waves and vicious tremors that once stormed in his core and tore fissures upon his coasts. A living planet, one that could give hospitality and withstand forces unknown. It took a supernova, a death so loud all the solar system tembled in its wake; but from that, he was reborn. Greater than the sickly planet and fragile core, he became a system of stars and comets, constellations in beauty marks upon a thriving expanse of healed skin, a new being, strong and resilient.

Do not be afraid of the end, because more often than we may realize, it is a beginning; the one we have always needed.
storm siren Jan 2017
I want to show you all the ways
In which you mean to me,
And I want to show you all that
You've done to heal me,
But I'm still scarred and bruised,
I'm still a little less
Than I guess
I could be.

And it's hard for me
To open up
To anyone
I don't know how to explain
The dreadful details
Which explain
Why certain things set me off
Why I shiver and I shake
Why I seem so defeated.

I'll tell you little bits
So it makes sense
But I'm terrified
If I tell you anything more
Than the little you know
That maybe you'll think of me
A little less
Than you did before.

I want to show you
How much you mean to me,
But I can't love you properly,
Until I learn to love me,
And part of that
Is letting you love me too.
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