A cool day outside
Where the dark clouds hide
Sitting against a tree sap
With a rabbit in your lap
The meadow is far
From you to a star
As the wind blows
An endless day it shows
Blank thoughts fill your head
The same thoughts you cannot shed
No amount of outer peace
Can make what’s inside finally cease

seething venom dripping from the edges of my torn panting lips
i am familiar with its acidic taste and i lick it off my teeth
as though it were as sweet as the poisoned prose you fed to me
i am not a creature born of rage
but oh
if i did not thrive on the fact that i was so undeniably right
i
would
not
be
here

would i?


you know all too well that i would hunt down and bite the tongue from the man who did you wrong
but you would be terrified to know that i would watch his gurgling demise with triumph

do not misunderstand:

i would spit my prize and his blood into your gaping, screaming mouth
pin you down and tower over you
with my fangs bared so close to your throat
that i could nearly taste the heartbeat and the blood in your veins

drool spilling off of my chin and burning your skin
the smell of your singed flesh and your fear and my pride
just
like
the

r a b b i t

you
are.


i will forcibly eradicate the thought that i was too delicate from your mind--
you have been scared of me this entire time
too scared to drop me, to displease me
too scared to face the fact that i was a wolf living in a cracked eggshell
and that you took sick delight in pushing clay into crevasses that i was trying to escape from;

you held me like a sickly pup at arm’s length
not knowing what to do when i outgrew the cage you picked out for me
when the hackles started to bristle like goosebumps across my back
when hooded eyelids turned golden and


you should have been afraid of the fangs
that hid behind anxious words and knowing glances
instead of the stuttering and the overwhelmed mumbling;

you love monsters until
they
share
the
bed
with
you;


i am as quick to think as i am to wrap my hands around your throat;
i knew i knew i  k n e w
and you
ignored ignored i g n o r e d;


and now i weigh upon your ribcage
and you ***** the heart you tried to find upon your ***-stained shirt
regurgitated words never meant for me splashing onto my clawed fingertips


and i see nothing but my own mistakes reflected in your wide, unblinking eyes--
i forgot how beautiful my terrible form looked when i see it in the whites of someone’s eyes--
and what a shame i forgot for so long!

you never learned a thing,
did you?



you smell of **** and stink of many men’s claim on you
you have no regard for your own wellbeing
letting yourself get caught so painfully easily by any man holding lures of lustful pretty words

you give your heart to any man who promises to make you beg for more but
do you know how easy it would be to get you to beg
with a knife held to your throat?


if you want to die,
it will not be at my hands;
those  are to be soiled by my own sins and
not those of a

senseless

unthinking

r a b b i t.


you are unworthy of being my prey

Have we forgotten how to dream? To see the world through ourselves? The place we used to be is now lost. When we were children we knew where that was.
Before we knew the world, we only knew ourselves; then we became aware of the world. The dream became the reality, and the reality became the dream.

This dream has to be real, because it is all I've ever known.
It is hard to let go and fall right in, and go to places I've never been.

At night when we close my eyes, I dream of the place that we used to be.
When I sleep I remember who I am, but when I awaken I forget again.

The rabbit will take us there. Let's all go and chase the rabbit.
The hole only gets larger.

It is larger than you can imagine. You will never truly grasp the bottom.

The rabbit's leading us down the hole,
How deep down can this rabbit burrow?
We're beginning to see from the in,
We will never see out again.

We are falling down the rabbit hole.
Which way is up?
Which way is down?
We can't see the top,
And we can't find the bottom.
We're looking from the in,
Going to places we've never been.
We're learning to dream again.

Follow the rabbit down the hole,
Into the unknown we go.