Reminding myself that I am not alone
in thinking there is a collective conscience
library that has been made accessible, but

to readers, only, and within that set,
to readers who read for life, to live,

letterly, let be, let see, let say, what if,

or wonder if, let us see, let us say, today

where you were when I was in process
as an explanation
of an adversarial approach, a strategy,
accessing a push that has come to shove

me into your comfort zone, to force a will,
a will submitted to that thing you profess
to know is too true to think two ways,

trick is, digesting suggested gulps taken,
earlier in our mindstreaming, thinking sure,

the good, the good
in being alive, good for nothing at any rate,

making no thing, seem likely how as spirit
feels, loosed, to seem likely why we think

we breathe, half time in, half time out,
day by day, we live and breathe, and assume
the position we were led to believe, ours
to hold as true, for the rest of ever after,

our purpose on earth, laughs in our heart,
and wipes a grin across our face,
and once more
-wordflow slows, so back up,
can occur,
yes, imagine the loss,
back up, clogs old reasons
arterial distinctions excused
as essential legacy worth sets
where your treasure lay unseen…

earnest as any disguised gay Nineties
entertainer on the society pages,
lo, long after Turing was made example of…
- rude gay abandonment, so sad, liar
dies to convince some school board,
we all make up minds, we all may let such be,

scriptural, let it be written, thus it becomes,
for those who know it, this is it, do as we say,
or die, as seen when tyrants are dramatized,
on TV for all to watch, minimum reading cost,
to bring the masses together in one mindframe,
withing our gestalt Earth earth mindshare,
through wishable otherwise moments
we make bend with a laughing what,
twist, and spin, and twist and spin, thinking
ifery was were ours, see, we agree and think
a free minute,
and let it fly, to become another just
in time right move, made with no prejudicial
estimation of the attention cost needed to use

a free minute.

There were these moments when you’d remember something I’d forgotten
Or blotted from my memory
Often highly embarrassing episodes where I’d exposed my clear ineptitude
And you’d lead me back through them, laughing,
Walking in the gardens of my shame and naming all my
Clear inadequacies until you creased with tears in your eyes

And you’d think I’d hide
But it was love
and I miss you

You’d quite often leave a small amount of liquid
In every glass you drank from
So that every time I picked it up in a hurry I’d hurl it
Onto my trousers, or sofa
Or the pile of letters you’d refused to open and I’d curse and rankle
Wishing you would just tip things down the drain

And you’d think I would go insane
But it was love
and I miss you

And when you pulled the duvet round yourself to make the perfect
Bed based sausage roll and I shivered through
The night because despite the fact I’m twice your size
You had a vicelike grip that would never
Once
Slip

I’m ill-equipped to deal with the real of you being gone

I pace the places that you were and get lost a lot

But not lost like we used to when you’d tell me it was just around the corner
And I’d point to the fact that the century had provided me
With an infinite map in my pocket
And you told me “**** it, let’s just go this way and see what we see.”
And we’d end up in some seedy part of town with some ****** staring me down and you’d hide behind me laughing
And we’d have to run for it, me with these knees

And you think that I’d go mad at you
And tell you that you wind me up
And tell you that I’ve had enough and you can figure you own **** out from now on

And now you’re gone
And it was love
and I miss you

They always leave,
A re-occurring curse,
Cry on my own sleeve
Oh yes,
Trust me,
It hurts,
But,
What could I do
When the one who always leaves is you,
What could say?
If you're not even hear?
You've gone away.

the days go by in pleasant routine
only occasional disturbances
     with grandkids  unexpected visitors
     the mailman ringing at the door
          because the letter would not fit the box
     the neighbor asking for a favor gladly granted
     someone who wants to sell some things

the days go by
      preparing meals  go shopping
      splitting the firewood
      running the wash
      checking the email
      go swimming and do AquaFit
      occasionally have a lunch with friends

the days go by

and I occasionally wonder
about the undesired goal of passing all that time
as days go by

It's not any great tragedy but the mundane,
the quotidian, which taxes me:
haircuts, shaving, the mowing of lawns;
leaf-raking, tooth-brushing, driving to work;
taking out the garbage, matching socks;
flossing, timesheets, getting gas for the car....

I long to be forced to flee at night,
all wits and energy required just to survive.

when we consider
    in one of the rare quiet moments
    of our hurried hectic times
what keeps us busy throughout all our days
we may discover that there is not much beyond quotidian chores
    that occupies our schedule
the job,  career, the family, the children
     mow the lawn, chat with the neighbors,
     go to worship,  bowling,  Sunday school
     etc., etc.

small time we give to figuring out the meaning of it all

what is it that we want
    when we have reached the peak of our career
    when our kids have left the house
     live elsewhere without need for our care
what is it that is left
    to strive for and achieve

pragmatically speaking
it may be useful to become alert
and contemplate such matters
    alongside our busy years
at least some time before
we find ourselves
close to the edge
that points us into different spheres