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There I sat throughout the trial,
whilst they sat there in total denial,
sprinkling their seedlings of doubt,
believing the lies he would spout,
throwing out everything I say,
just so they could get their pay,
without a care in the world about who they hurt,
attempting to drag my name through the dirt,
the questions made me so uncomfortable,
with every answer I felt more vulnerable,
objection!
take a look at your reflection,
you're happily defending a man like him,
so that your wallet is a little less slim,
giving no ***** about the future impact,
dismissing it all as lies when really it's a fact,
what would you do if it was your kid?
would you still defend the perpatrtor for a few thousand quid?
despite what I know is extremely true,
at times I find myself questioning it thanks to you,
I was just a child you had no right,
to contribute to the nightmares keeping me up at night,
did you ever see through his lies?
did you ever eventually open your eyes?
deep down did part of you believe me?
but the cheque was something you had to see?
you thought your performance was perfect,
but guess what, it was a unanimous guilty verdict,
and though it was the verdict I wanted,
I'm still reeling at the verision of events that you concocted,
each day in court chipped away pieces of me,
and now it's him who gets to be free,
I'll never forget how you tried to twist my story,
in an attempt to bask in some glory
There’s no rest
For the things I’ve done
They play in my mind
Like my favorite rerun

I know it’s not right
I owe you my life
I’ll hold your hand
While you take the knife

This poison inside me
Makes my stomach burn
Another pill dissolves on my tongue
I swear I’ll never learn

I’ve got to numb the pain
For me to be real
Ha! Just kidding
I make sure I can’t ever feel

If I leave my house
I got my shades on
Don’t want anyone to see
I’m really gone
Dreams so vivid
You feel, they're real
Floating on an ocean
Obscured by the mist

Unable to move
A warm blanket covers you
The vastness ***** you in
As you surrender
Alice Wilde Oct 31
Feels like fear.

Depression
Is my peace.

Laughter
Helps me see.

Isolation
Is my relief.
Her Oct 28
my entire life
i have been using
my body

to get what i want
to manipulate situations
to numb my own mind
to feel in control

then somehow you

Nektarios
the patron saint
for those suffering
of heart troubles
along with many more

warmed me
at your first touch
warmed me
at your first sight

my cold heart
the one that was always
sharp around the edges
so sharp that people
would bleed out

yet not you

you gave me light
you gave me hope
you gave me love

you made me softer
you made me kinder

i thank you Nektarios
Millie Oct 25
have you ever felt your memories crawl up your throat?
the pain of each nightmare coming afloat.
the flashbacks swallow you whole.
there's no hope for your soul.

do you live your terrors day after day?
the corrupted thoughts won't go away.
its blade slices your skin
allowing the bad thoughts in.

save me.
hear me.
pull me from this pit
please, before i quit.

give up on this.
it's them you'll miss.
release me
subdue me

please let me be free.
REM
Everyday I tell myself I'm fine
The Night falls
I lose my mind
Its unkind the way
I twist and sway
It haunts me
It taunts me
Clawing and choking
Fire and smoking
My lungs collapse
My voice rasps
Til daylight comes
I feel numb
Repeat the same
Repeat the words
I'm okay
I'm okay
For today
Please behave
My mind
Please behave
Be kind

I set four alarms
In the night
Rem sleep gives me
Many frights
The ghost
The goblins
The treacherous
Moblins
Out to eat my flesh
Paralyze me
make me bleed
It's funny though
How they're not the worst
It's you
It's you

You come to my dreams
Like an angel of apologies
Full of heart
Full of love
Wanting forgiveness
Wanting hugs
We touch
We forgive
We laugh
We three dance with
The wind
With mighty loud grins
The past is dark
This is bright
No sadness in sight
I awaken with terror
Rem has caught me
In my most vulnerable
Gave me a plight
I cannot fight
I long for us
I long for friendship
Return to me
It's meant to be

The rem sleep lies
As I wake up to cry
Tears swallow me whole
I'm an empty bowl
Cold and alone
Sweating to the bone
Wash me away
Break my glass
Bleed from my edges
You made me sharp
And relentless
You having me
It's horrendous

Demons and ghouls
Are frightening
Yet dreaming of us
Falling in love again
It's tightening
In my chest
In my skin
It tightens my heart
Til I fall apart
You break me
The promise of peace
Of friendship
Of light and love
Of all of us
Again
Again
It'll never happen
that breaks me to pieces
More than any
Goblins or demons

You leave me bleeding
With hope
False hope
Dead hope
Tears of sorrow
Of a broken tomorrow
Stay out of me sleep
I don't wish to weep
I want one alarm
I want no harm
I want to sleep
With ease
And not bleed
Please
Please
Please
Let me sleep
So I can truly mean it when I say
I'm okay
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