There's always a "motivation" in my mind to accomplish my laziness.

perfection is something
I cannot attain

and so here I sit
procrastinating

watching time tick away
the hours I could use

but they've all
wasted away

I dropped out of college one month in.

I quit two jobs over text.

I only retrieved half of my belongings after moving out of my parents house.

My library card was cancelled because I never returned the DVD I rented, because I never watched it.

My exes all still have at least two articles of my clothing because I told them I'd come get them. I intended to. I just never got around to it.

I started to write a suicide note.
I just never knew how to
end
it.

I ask you questions
To get answers
And to better understand
So I don't seem nervous;
Yet I am still uneasy
Because I am prepared to fail
Rather than succeed.

there's a stir in my heart
feels like having a fit
what to do about it?

i don't know where to start
i'll just sit for a bit

Procrastination… by Jessie 2/07

I’ve sat…I’ve thought…Then thought some more
Strategically dissecting every move
Looking from every angle
Contemplating the task at hand
It’s evident what needs done
As I solidify my stand


Motivated by end results
Charged in anticipation
I’m getting ready to get ready
But first, I’ll review my notes
Never put off until tomorrow
One of my favorite quotes

I’m pretty sure the plan is good
As I check it five more times
Tentatively reluctant
I’ll sleep on it tonight
Bright and early tomorrow
The time should then be right

I’ve eaten breakfast
Had a bath
Feeling strong and sure
Confidant, dedicated, prepared
Wait one minute, what is this?
Something just seems weird

Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to wait
Let’s give it one more day
What’s the rush?
Let’s think this through
Clearer days tomorrow
When plans can be made new

Something always present
But never seen

A presence that drags and pulls
At your very being

It dictates your actions and captures you
In its' thrall

It causes deaths and removes ideas'
As you walk, covered in its' shawl

It blocks out everything
Emptying the mind

Controlling the entire body
Making one blind

Boredom is an assassin
Of the creative soul

But is a creator and leader
for some in a hole

So tomorrow I'll start
I said the same yesterday too