I speak through the vast expanse of the galaxy,
Weaving polysemy into intricate syllables
That resonate with a seismic force in their arrhythmic vibratos.
These interlocking fabrics envelop the entirety of sound,
Creating a harmonious tapestry of auditory experiences.

I want to feel your heart strings
Like a plucked guitar
The electric sonic resonance
Coursing like static
Heavy as the hair erects
And falls as a collective sigh.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Pacing through the labyrinth,
I’m searching for the puzzle pieces,
Piecing together the images,
With joyous celebration when the dots connect and make sense.

I yearn for the razorblades you wield,
Intended to sharpen lead,
Instead of incising scars,
Drawing images that leave no trace,
In the hope that if my words are abundant,
You can find the monosemy,
And in that moment, I can save a life.

~
April 2025
HP Poet: Nishu Mathur
Age: 54
Country: India


Question 1: A warm welcome to the HP Spotlight, Nishu. Please tell us about your background?

Nishu Mathur: "I was born in Delhi, a somewhat chaotic yet majestic city with an interesting and rich historic past. Had a lovely childhood and loving parents. Simple, honest and hard working folks. My late father was with Indian Airlines (senior executive management). My mum is a retired Professor. She taught in Delhi University for 41 years. I have a younger brother who is an economist/ professor. I spent a few years in NYC as a child in the 70s. Impressionable years. My love for reading started in school in NYC. We moved back to India in 1979. Did my undergraduate and Master’s in English Literature from Delhi University, St. Stephen’s College. I used to be a voracious reader. Read a lot till I was in school. Had finished reading most classics by the time I was in 10th grade. After that, I started reading contemporary works.

My husband is a technocrat. I have two lovely, kind-hearted daughters, one is an investment manager and the other, a budding lawyer. We love dogs. We had an adorable saintly pug, Now we have two incorrigible beagles.

I have travelled a bit. I have lived in Japan and Canada for a few years and have stayed in different cities in India. I have met incredible people from all over, experienced different traditions and cultures. Learned so much.

I used to teach once upon a time. I’ve also worked as a corporate trainer. Now I work as an editor and content creator for a non profit organization."


Question 2: How long have you been writing poetry, and for how long have you been a member of Hello Poetry?

Nishu Mathur: "I wrote a bit as a child. Then for a little while around 2000. But finally, I really started writing when I took a break from work in 2011. Have been on this site for almost 9 years. I posted my first poem on Hello Poetry in 2016."


Question 3: What inspires you? (In other words, how does poetry happen for you).

Nishu Mathur: "Nature — trees, flowers, the sun, the moon. A moment in time. Something I read that I love. Memories. Something around me that I notice that leaves an impact. I used to write happy-go-lucky, cheeky poems too. Really silly stuff. I once wrote a poem on Indian moustaches. On double chins. Mosquitoes. I wrote parodies. Would love to get back to writing poetry like I used to.

I mostly write when I am at peace. For the longest time I found it hard to express sadness and grief. But I think I am getting over that."


Question 4: What does poetry mean to you?

Nishu Mathur: "Poetry is my go-to-place. A friend, a companion. It is a feeling. It is catharsis. It inspires. It is an outlet for creativity. I am very happy when I am able to write something. I feel rejuvenated. Like I can breathe.

I have learned a lot about poetry over the years. Poetry has also given me an opportunity to know myself and others better.

A poem can say so much in a few words. We can all have our own takeaways and interpretations. Words become magical and beautiful when woven together in poetry. I find that fascinating.

I am not a big talker. So I find happiness and comfort in written words. Poetry helps me to connect with people — thanks to online websites such as HP."


Question 5: Who are your favorite poets?

Nishu Mathur: "Rumi, Emily Dickinson, Vikram Seth, Maya Angelou, Ruskin Bond, Wordsworth, Yeats, Shel Silverstein, Pam Ayres. I love reading the work of fellow poets too."


Question 6: What other interests do you have?

Nishu Mathur: "Besides poetry, I enjoy music. I am trying my hand at painting. I love walking, going for long drives. I used to love travelling but haven’t been able to travel much these past few years. Love watching feel good, happy movies."


Carlo C. Gomez: “We would like to thank you Nishu, we really appreciate you giving us the opportunity to get to know the person behind the poet! It is our pleasure to include you in this Spotlight series!”

Nishu Mathur: "Thank you Carlo for Timetabling me and for your support. Grateful for the encouragement and inspiration I have received and continue to receive from this wonderful community of poets on Hello Poetry."




Thank you everyone here at HP for taking the time to read this. We hope you enjoyed coming to know Nishu a little bit better. We certainly did. It is our wish that these spotlights are helping everyone to further discover and appreciate their fellow poets. – Carlo C. Gomez

We will post Spotlight #27 in May!

~

When I wake up in the morning I suddenly remember you,
I don't know how long I have to think about you and come back to you.

I thought I was done.
I thought I had forgotten my feelings for you.
No matter where I go,
I remember you,
Because there is something hidden in my heart,
You are there in history and have been revealed in my personality

The secret of my love for you,
That has been hidden for a long time and years in my heart and I need to forget.

You are still the one I want,
You are still the one I want,
You are still the one I love.

I don't know if you love me.
Because I feel this in you.
Do you love me?
You make me feel special to you.
Every time I see you I can't explain the feeling.

Even though I want you,
even though I want to be with you and let you love me,
But I have to avoid you.
I have to stay away from you.

You are the person I want to be with and stay in my life.
But I can't turn back time to the way it was when we were just the two of us.
The days and times I was with you are over.
A long time and years have passed without you being with me.

You have someone else and are loved.
It's too late to plead and bring everything back

With the cheap thought that I need someone like you by my side.

Will all the shortcomings in my heart be filled if we had only been together then until now.

The love that should have been mine and that I should have received because of you.
Will all the wounds in my heart heal by your side.

The love that cannot be removed from my heart.
Because you are a part of my heart forever.

I am not just a childhood friend and family member,
You are the root of my heart and my blood that you are always in my heart.

Whatever my feelings and emotions were for you before, that's all.
I never wanted to be consumed by the love that you wanted to give and that I wanted to possess.

I could forget how I looked at you for the rest of my life.
This hidden in the past, I abandoned.

Even though my past heart haunts me again and again, but the love that I want to have is only there.
Nothing else.

I want you to be happy.
I'm happy that you love someone else.

I'm thirsty for love but
I don't want to be hurt and force my heart to steal a moment to be happy with you, but tomorrow I'll only be hurt because I'll still be left alone and you're no longer with me.

Yes, I should come back to you but I can't.
Please don't remind me anymore.
Everything is gone, it's different now.
Let's put all the past to rest.
Let my heart rest in love.

I know you still love me but you can't take it anymore.
I still love you but not like before.

I love you even though there's something wrong with my feelings,
even though it hurts to hurt you
but I put it in the right place
because I love you,
because you love me that's what I reciprocated.

I chose the right love, not the forbidden love.


*******


"𝔹𝕒𝕨𝕒𝕝 ℕ𝕒 ℙ𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕓𝕚𝕘"

Pag gising ko sa umaga bigla kitang naalala,
Hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan kita kailangan isipin at balikan.

Akala ko natapos ko na.
Akala ko nakalimutan ko na ang feelings ko sayo.
Kahit saan ako mag ***** naalala kita,
Dahil may nakatago sa puso ko,
Naroroon ka sa history at nabungkal sa pagkatao
Ang lihim ng pagibig ko sayo,
Na natago ng mahabang panahon at taon sa puso ko at kailangan ko ng kalimutan.

Ikaw parin ang nais ko,
Ikaw parin ang gusto ko,
Ikaw parin ang mahal ko.

Hindi ko alam kung mahal mo ako.
Dahil nararamdaman ko sayo ito.
Mahal mo ba ako?
ipinararamdam mo saking special ako sayo.
Sa tuwing nakikita kita hindi ko maipaliwanag ang nadarama.

Kahit gusto kita,
kahit gusto kita makasama at payagang mahalin ako,
Pero kailangan kong iwasan ka.
Kailangan kong lumayo sayo.

Ikaw ang taong gusto ko makasama at manatili sa buhay ko.
Ngunit hindi ko na maibabalik ang panahon sa dati na tayo pang dalawa.
Tapos na ang mga araw at panahong nakasama kita.
Dumaan na ang mahabang panahon at taon na wala ka sa piling ko.

May roon ka ng iba at mahal.
Huli na para makisumamo at ibalik pa ang lahat

Sa murang pag iisip na kailangan ko ng isang tulad mo sa tabi ko.

Mapupunan ba lahat ng pagkukulang sa loob ng puso ko kung naging tayo nalang noon hanggang ngayon.

Ang pagmamahal na dapat na sa akin at dapat na natatanggap ko na dahil sayo.
Ang lahat ba ng sugat sa puso ko ay maghihilom sa tabi mo.

Ang pagibig na hindi maalis sa puso ko.
Dahil habang buhay kang laman sa puso ko.

Hindi lang kita kababata at kapamilya,
Ikaw ang ugat sa puso ko at dugo ko na palagi kang nasa puso ko.

Kung ano man ang nararamdaman at feelings ko sayo noon hanggang don nalang yon
Hindi ko na ninais pa na lumubos sa pag mamahal na gusto **** ibigay at gusto ko maangkin.

Kalimutan ko man ang pag tingin ko sayo habang buhay
Ito ng nakatago sa nakaraan ay tinalikuran ko.

Kahit paulit ulit man akong multuhin ng nakaraan kong puso pero ang pagmamahal na gusto kong mangyari ay hanggang doon nalang.
Wala ng iba.

gusto na kita maging masaya.
Masaya na akong may mahal ka ng iba.

Uhaw man ako sa pagmamahal pero
Ayaw ko ng masaktan at pilitin pa ang puso ko sa mga nakaw na saglit upang lumigaya kasama ka ngunit kinabukasan masasaktan lang din ako dahil maiiwan parin ako mag isa at hindi ka na kasama.

Oo dapat kitang balikan pero hindi ko na kaya.
Please huwag mo ng ipaalala sakin.
Wala na ang lahat, iba na ngayon.
Ipahinga na natin ang lahat ng nakaraan.
Ipahinga mo na ang puso ko sa pagibig.

Alam ko mahal mo parin ako pero hindi mo na din kaya pa.
Mahal parin naman kita ngunit hindi na tulad ng dati.

Mahal kita kahit may mali sa aking nadarama,
kahit masakit man na masaktan kita
ngunit nilagay ko na yon sa tamang lugar
dahil mahal kita,
dahil mahal mo ako yon ang iginanti ko sayo.

Tamang pagmamahal ang pinili ko hindi ang bawal na pag ibig.

I’ve been thinking of someone can touch me but
Inside out it’s still empty
No one can turn too

I've been traveling for decades but my heart is still alone
How many times have I been with you and met you
But it's still not you

Many battles have passed but it’s fair
I thought it was you but until now I still haven't won
I always left alone winning myself but not together with you
I'm left victorious in myself but you're not with me

No matter what I do I still can't see the real
No matter how I open the door
The opportunity is still elusive

Even if I don't look for it, it's always whispered
The real face still doesn't face me
The real for me is still hidden

Is there nothing left for me?
Is it already written?
How long will I wait?

Is it always destined for someone else?
Another opportunity will be waiting again
But how far will the journey go without you

Is this just the new beginning
Is it just the beginning?
There is always a new door to open

You only open a door once and a while and you have a chance
At the wrong time, not in the right direction
The world stopped in the elusive happiness

My tired heart cannot be satisfied
The winding,
tiring battle is not quiet
The direction does not straighten to be with you and see you

It is difficult when I have chosen you but you do not choose me
I thought you were the one,
but I will also go back to the old days and accept that you are no longer here
There is no partner.

************

"𝕎𝕒𝕝𝕒 ℙ𝕒𝕝𝕒 𝕋𝕒𝕝𝕒𝕘𝕒𝕟𝕘 𝕂𝕒𝕓𝕚𝕪𝕒𝕜"

Ako ay nag hihintay na mayroong makaka hipo sakin
pero hanggang ngayon wala paring laman
Wala paring lumilingon

Ilang dekada na akong nag lalakbay pero ang puso ko’y mag isa parin
Ilang beses na kitang nakasama at nakilala
Pero hindi parin ikaw

Marami nang nagdaang labanan akala ko ikaw na yon
pero hanggang ngayon hindi parin naipapanalo
Naiwan akong nanalo sa sarili pero hindi ka kasama

Kahit ano gawin ko hindi parin makita ang tunay
Buksan ko man ang pinto
Mailap parin ang pagkakataon

Hindi ko man hanapin palagi itong binubulong
Hindi parin humaharap ang tunay na mukha
Nakatago parin ang tunay na para sakin

Wala na bang para sakin?
Naka tala na ba ito?
Hanggang kailan ako mag hihintay?

Parati nalang ba sa iba nakalaan?
Panibagong pagkakataon ulit ang hihintayin
Pero hanggang saan aabot ang paglalakbay ng wala ka

Ito palang ba ang bagong simula
Nagsisimula palang ba?
Palaging may bagong pinto ang bubuksan

Minsan ka lang mag bukas ng pinto at pagkakataon
Sa maling pagkakataon na hindi natapat sa tamang direksyon
Nahinto ang mundo sa mailap na lumigaya

Hindi mapagbigyan sa napapagod kong puso
Hindi matahimik ang paliko likong nakakapagod na labanan
Hindi tumutuwid ang direksyon para makasama at makita ka

Ang hirap kapag pinili na kita pero ikaw hindi mo ako pinipili
Akala ko ikaw na yun uuwi rin din pala ako sa dati at tatanggaping wala ka na
Wala palang kapareha.