Call me a dreamer because I get caught up in my dreams.
Elevate above reality restoring my self esteem.
In between the hard times and struggle I find my drive.
It's no wonder they say through hard times we thrive.
Stuck inside the belly of the rough.
Deceived by thoughts of what's granted isn't enough.
It's up to me to take control of my mind.
The prior is history no need to rewind.
As I meditate I'm reminded to live every moment like my last,
Instead of getting hung up on moments of the past.
Who knows what the future beholds,
Better act on action rather than have stories told.
Contemplating as my true self awakens,
Expressing gratitude for things that were for granted taken.
Most find distractions to avert the need to deal,
With issues arising from values that make them real.
Safety protocols cease the ability to feel.
Still traumatized from the last time the heart had to heal.
Evolving through the years you come to realize,
The burden only gets bigger while pilling up the lies.
How much longer will you let yourself compromise,
Start digging deep and seek where you must rise.
Growing through external accomplishments is barely effective.
Real growth comes from a place that's rather reflective.
All you you really need is to gain some perspective.
You'll soon find how you perceive something is only subjective.

Matter of
perspective
For me
It is
But maybe
For you
They are all
Just a blur
And I
am but
a speck

I cherish my dreams
more than I cherish life
My dreams are bursting with color,
the endless sight of a rainbow
Idyllic and innocent
But waking up becomes
a nightmare to return to
a life that is colored with
nothing but greys
that I did not ask for
How I wish for my dreams
to bleed into real life
and transform my perception
of reality

I am a stubborn *****
I am cold hearted
I am whatever you think

I am also tenacious
I am a survivor
I am adaptable

... Perspective

the asteroid hit the earth so long ago that
                                                             i do not remember a time before.  
(the bones of dinosaurs do not remember a time before they were
petrified into brittle and fragile memories; the moon does not recall
who she was before she got stuck in the earth’s orbit; uranus knows
nothing of how he came to spin on his side.)

you could stick your hand through
any of the gas giants and find
                                                          your whole body
                                                           slidi­ng through.  
this same theory can be applied to my skin.  i have very little gravity,
or at least it feels that way most days.

maybe it depends on how you look at it:
one way is perfect, and the other all wrong.  the woman in the casket could either be sleeping or dead.  she could either be a stranger or my mother.  the head or the tail.  the light or the dark.  the two sides of the moon.  the comet striking through the night sky.  the interdimensional toll could refuse to let you through.  the cult could accept or deny your entry request.  there is one and there is the other.  the upside down.  the rightside up.  the parallel universe.  the evil twin.  it’s fresh and then it’s rotten.  this could either hurt a lot or a little.  it depends on how much you let in: how willing you are to bend to the emotional blow.

science says that the human body tends to
                                                            forget physical pain as a survival tactic.
but science says jack **** about emotional pain.

so am i living?  or am i just existing?
     the difference is six feet deep.

Staring at bricks
stuck together
Lying and thinking whether
worth the kicks.

What's the point
a dull voice voiced
undermining the excited one
Life, more like a temple run

Everyone's aiming for high
like cannabis cannibalizing cerebellum
I can't think of a reason why
follow withered curriculum

Last nail has been hammered
Once again it surfaced
as I gaze with my face dazed
among others with thought so tattered.

Sparked thoughts invoke fear, forming beads of sweat
Spurred on by these scars that we’ll not soon forget
This vertiginous vortex whips us along
Unwilling and restless, we’re compelled to go on

Heed peace in panic states
Lord knows the hour’s late
We choose to hide, don’t trust our fate
It’s flee or fight—it cannot wait

Spinning, swerving, bridges burning
Scenes shift and change but we’re still hurting
A carousel of doors revolving
Eyes shut and open, each blink absolving

Take off and leave it all behind
We’ll ne’er escape our judging minds
Change what you will, can’t be denied
Embrace darkness within the light