As my world is engulfed in flames
Do you still burn for me?
Raging fires, roaring so loudly
Do you still feel me, hear me?
As my heart burns for you
As my love erupts 
Do you not see my passion?

Or am I doomed to be a waste?
All that heat and passion and love
An explosion of emotions, searing my skies
Do I not light you up?
Ashes upon ashes, dying to embers
Do you not want my warmth?

Burned out, cinders and gray
All those feelings and connections
Did it disappear like smoke?
What was once lit now smoldered
What was once passion is now blackened
Was our fire ever real?
Or was I the only one burned?

I want to get married, I say
and I want to run across every corner of the earth without stop;
but I think I have a soulmate
somewhere in Italy, sipping his after-dinner espresso
and I think I’ve probably got another, sailing around Greece
F_ck, I heard a Columbian’s accent for the first time last night
and—-though I’ve never been to South America—-
I’d bet there’s a few men waiting there for me too, and
How do you pack all the lives you want to live
into just one?
…

In one of our lives, we got married / bought a little house, down by the sea / played music in the mornings dancing wild through the kitchen / nothing but two sets of boxers and breakfast sizzling / retreated to our single studies in the evenings / slow jazz notes tumbling through the quiet hum / I gave you a couple of kids, so I could watch you be a father / and you were the most beautiful thing standing on two legs / teaching your son to ride a bike / cradling your newborn daughter / and every single day was enough / reason to love you harder
…

And still another, we were Old Gods
Intimately entwined of the infallible energies
Birthing entire planets and star systems
  of our chaos and of our joy

And time would pass
and we would grin
just watching
__

I’ll not touch you
If You don’t want me to
From your words & acts I’ll take my cue
But if you flip my switch & with your okay
I’ll make your mind go numb as you sway
To my hypnotic grind when I have my way
Caressing, confessing
secret hungers that crawl beneath my skin
The need to feel you plunge within
I’m years’ deep now, excitable
Sensations beyond all you imagine
Urging me to dance that dance with your permission
But ONLY if you flip my switch
If not, have no fear
Just friends, then, here

Oh, sweetest sound upon my ear,  
a tethered thread, a spark sincere.  
Your voice, like embers soft and bright,  
calls out my name, and I ignite.  

Not once in passing, lost, unseen,  
but placed with care—intent, serene.  
A whispered note, a steady drum,  
each syllable leaves me undone.  

You speak, and suddenly I’m there,  
a past unshaken, light as air.  
Your tone, familiar, pulls me in—  
a dance between what’s now and then.  

"Goodnight," you say—yet here I stay,  
caught in the warmth you send my way.  
I tell myself it’s just a sound,  
but even now, I come unwound.  

So call it once, call it twice,  
with no regret, with no disguise.  
For every time, without pretense,  
I fall in love and lose defense.

All the miles between us feel like an ocean,  
Breathing sorrow into every quiet moment.  
Caring for you comes so easily,  
Despite the wounds you’ve left on me.  
Every lie you’ve told still stings,  
Foolishly, I cling to the love it brings.  
Grace fills my heart when I see your name,  
Holding back anger, forgiving the pain.  
I ache for the safety I find in your eyes,  
Just once, I wish you’d see past the lies.  
Kindness pours from u when I need it most,  
Love like yours keeps haunting my ghost.  
Maybe one day, we’ll rewrite this story,  
Now I pray for peace, tho it feels so blurry.  
Only you know how to calm my fears,  
Patiently listening thru laughter and tears.  
Quiet nights remind me of your touch,  
Regret fills the spaces where I loved 2 much.  
Still, I dream you’ll feel the same,  
Tethered to hope that whispers your name.  
Under the stars, I send you a prayer,  
Vowing I’ll wait, though life feels unfair.  
When I’m with you, the world feels light,  
Xeroxed memories replay in the quiet night.  
Years may pass, and still I’ll stay,  
Zoning in on love that won’t fade away.

I’d tear the sun from the sky,
Lest it burn your eyes;
Pull your ship from the grasp of the sea,
Lest you succumb to its depths;
Quell the winds of the raging storm,
Lest it ruffle your hair.

Pangs of passion,
Flood through your fangs,
Heavy your head now hangs.

Banish these thoughts!
As you BANG-- your head--
Again--
Again!
Against the wall.

But hunger won't fade,
Nor the scent of the hen,
It lingers, it clings,
You can't help but recall,
A whisper, a wing,
Her breath, her call.

Imagine, the whispers of love tainted on your lips – reading those
signs in your words; where your love is so desired, that once you
fell in love, it all descended upon the world. While man was made
from the dust of the ground; how quickly he sells himself so short;
just becoming dust that’s cheaply sold.

Oh, was it her, Wisdom; she knocked on his door, but nobody came,
from the raining despair of life, she came looking for warmth, as she
shivered in her overcoat. But you only gave her lip service, never
paying attention to her words, even as she handed you her quote.

Over the intercom’s speaker I could hear her call, “it’s me honey;
it’s me,” but I was a whelp who was more in love with the world.
“Let me in—I’m so cold,” still I chose the warmth of this world to
keep warm, but she’s a mistress that has no home. She roams the
streets to every man’s call – while wisdom is the sweetest kiss on
the lips, with a still glow.

And even though I didn’t accept her at the time, she still waited for
me to grow; to grow into her. She undressed herself, and took the
skin of my pen. Her beauty in my hand makes fools jealous of what
they couldn’t grasp then. As she’s the dividing rule, to separate the
boys from the men. I love her more now, better than I did then –
for she’s my lover, who stood as a constant friend.

An ode to Wisdom.

I miss you,
I miss your good morning texts,
Your messages lighting up my phone,
The special ringtone I had for you,
Calling you mpenzi -
Because that’s what you are,
My darling.

I miss your voice,
Your laughter,
The warmth in your words.
I miss how we spoke of everything,
How we made each other feel alive.

I miss your kind heart, beautiful soul and spirit.
I miss your wild ambitions,
Your endless *** of kindness,
Your relentless singing of love ballads after your favourite drink,
And your desire to truly be a great person.

I miss Kivuli’s sweetest face,
The comfort you both brought me
Whenever I was lost in sadness.
I miss your smooth, dark skin,
Your handsome face,
Your gorgeous body in all its glory,
Your kindness and gentleness.
Your laughter.

I miss how natural we were together -
Effortlessly almost.
Perhaps that’s what went wrong,
Was it too easy, and is life not?

I miss the hope we shared,
The late-night conversations,
And the way your deep voice
Would echo through my heart.
What happens now?
I don’t know.
But I miss you with every fibre of my being.
I haven’t stopped loving you -
And I don’t know if I ever will.
Come back to me, mpenzi.
Come back to us.