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Connor Apr 2019
Will I do something wrong?
Did I already do something wrong?
Are they just faking that smile?
Am I actually funny or
Are they sick of me?
Will they leave?
I don't want them to leave.
Please don't leave;
If you leave,
I won't be alone.
I'll be left with nothing but my
Thoughts,
And my thoughts scare me
So much that I avoid
Silence even though I
Hate noise sometimes;
And, I just don't know
How to turn off my
Corrosive thoughts.
It hurts
To be lonely and never alone;
For my constant company,
My thoughts,
Never console me.
They are the reason I
Fear the silence in a room.
They say,
"What have you done wrong?
Why is it silent?
Did you ****?
Do you smell bad?
Is everyone staring?
What's going on?
What did you do
Wrong?"
An insecurity of mine that runs deep within me.
Farzaneh Qaf Mar 2019
.
To all stars who are awake
Shall we have some piece of a cake?
I won't eat much
Neither know dutch
What I want now!
Some Bless, Waite! Bawl
Meet me in the rain?
Indeed,
Such a pain..
Memories ..
Forgettable?
What are we?
Some animals..
Paranoia, all around
Hallelujah, I won't count
Wanna get drunk?
No
I stay conscious
So
I chose mapen
Won't talk a
gain
Do you still plot your moves?
Meticulously planning your next attack,
Obsessing over the board,
Chasing checkmate after checkmate,
Even though the game is over.

Or is it? Do I understand you now?
Pawns surround a trembling king,
Bringing back information,
About "innocent" steps,
And knights abducted.
The game continues, making mockery
And playing hangman with your ill intent.
Sorry for the long gap in posting.
This idea came to mind after a long writers block. These thoughts have been going through my head for a while, it was nice to finally do something with them.
KCatharsis Mar 2019
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that my hands tremble when I’m about to talk to someone you just introduced me to.
I’m sorry that I’m not able to give my best impression and stand up to my full potential when I become all warm and red.
I’m sorry for stammering and not being able to form coherent sentences.
I’m sorry that my eyes glisten when I don’t feel comfortable in a new place, even when I’m right next to you.
It’s not you, babe.
It’s me.
I’m sorry that I’m not able to place an order in a restaurant,
or when I’m not able to pick up unknown calls because my voice cracks while talking to somebody I’m not familiar with.
I know it must feel like I’m pretending, because I act like I’m bold.
But I’m not.
I try to act tough so that I am not approached by strangers that I’m afraid of.

I didn’t think it through.
I think only about the worst case scenario of every situation that I’m put into.
I didn’t ask for this anxiousness.
I didn’t ask to feel scared and lonely when I’m with a group of people.
I didn’t ask to be able to overthink every thing you say.
And I know,
you holding my shaking hands is to make me feel better and calm,
to stop my fingers from quivering violently.
I know,
your arms around my shoulders are there to make me feel like I know my surroundings,
like I’m at home.
I know that your peck on my forehead is placed to make me feel better,
but I’m sorry.
I don’t know how it stops.
I didn’t ask for this.

~KC
23.12.18
2:01 PM
I have no control over it, but I'm trying.
Lieke Mar 2019
It was around midnight
I was alone with you
You filled my blood with alcohol
Little did I know what you knew

You wouldn’t keep your hands off me
As if I didn’t have a choice
Forcing yourself onto me
I couldn’t seem to find my voice

I tried to push you away
As you pulled me closer to you
I told you to leave
But you stuck to me like glue

The next morning
I tried to ***** up all of my tears
But your hands were tattoos on my body
And the look in your eyes became my biggest fears

You see, I was a steady moving girl
And you broke me in two
Now I’m chained to my fear
And I can’t seem to break through

You stole my freedom
And left me with paranoia and deep cuts
I want to tell the whole wide world
But you know I'll never have the guts

You've no idea how much damage you did
Just the scent of that night haunts me
I have nowhere to turn
There’s no place to where I can flee

I can't seem to escape you
If only I could count to three
I have just one question for you
Why me?
20 March, 2019
Thomas King Mar 2019
As I looked in your eyes
I saw a tiny flicker
As if a small piece of your love for me
Died deep within you

A flicker so small
You barely gave it notice
But it blazed like the sun
As it seared my heart

I felt my soul shiver
As if your precious gift
Was pulled from body

A sickening wave of despair
Passes through me
As I realize your love for me
Will no longer be whole

My heart is left broken
And bleeding with regret
Unable to mend the wound
That has been inflicted.

Will time heal the damage?
Or will I have to suffer
A slow painful death
As the fire within you
Slowly dies out

Shall I continue to fan the flames
That I see still burning inside you?
Or does the fuel for my love
No longer have the capacity to sustain it?
I think I shall just close my eyes
And let fate run its course
Warren Feb 2019
It’s not the pain I’m feeling that I need you all to see,
But the fire underneath that’s burning through,
I don’t need you to relate to me,
Or understand my pain,
As long as your intentions remain true.
My demons are a part of me,
The backbone of my soul,
They’re who I am and who I’ll always be,
They guard the darkness in my mind ,
A balance for what’s real,
Don’t ever make me set my demons free.
kk Feb 2019
On days where salty tears lick my cheeks,
or they hide just behind the cages of my eyelids,
I feel full, not hollow.
Preferable, perhaps, to the emptiness found
in staring blankly at life and seeing
the still run down like paint and the moving brake like cars
all around, helpless to stop it
as a mind crumbles into broken acceptance.
But a cup can only hold so much.
A *** can rumble angrily on the stove for only
so long before its contents spill out,
slipping and darkening down the sides
before dying away against the heat below.
Sure, we're contained, maybe like tea kettles. But
all of us have holes that whistle,
a call to what stirs inside, and I
am no different.
Every day,
my small heart shivers and shakes,
petrified by even the idea of my own steam escaping.
It rattles at the threat of an exponential scream
of evaporated failures and aborted thought
wrapping itself around my tongue and teeth
before spilling out to float in the present air,
only to hang itself
like a fog over everyone's perceptions.
I guess that's the difference between us and tea kettles,
or cups or pots.
Water moves forever in its cycle,
falling down as rain, or snow, or sleet, or hail, or
rising up into the air to mesh with it seamlessly,
adapting beautifully to the pressures of its natural peers.
But water is not sentient. It does not remember its past,
does not consider its present or future.
Water speaks a language of unquestioned togetherness and
a blissful absence of mind.
Maybe our folly is memory.
Our puffs of commentary marinate on the brains of others,
and, maybe for the worse,
ourselves.
They float around in a haze of the brain,
eroding at our integrities,
some fogs never cycling out until we rattle
for the last time.
Unlike steam, unlike water, we ponder our past forms
and our personal sins sometimes forever
until we sizzle against time's heat,
burning out at the mercy of nature
and our own kettled minds.
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