so i am still too young
to know what is
really, actually, truthfully
out there..

Just because you don't have someone
By your side doesn't mean
you're alone.
Close your eyes.
Turn around.
When you open your eyes,
Tears might fall when you see
All the people who have watched you grow.

I had you first
Heart soul and mind
Grown up, not apart by time
So alike, so unchanged
Through different environments, in a different stage
Now they have you, thoughts and body
Weeding away our time though unsteady
So many wishes, so many prayers to one not there, answered suddenly but incompletely
Now I have you soul mind and body
Your heart is away, on vacation these days

Now I again begin to pray, to beg one not there
May I have you?
Again the way you once were?
All mine finally for once
Uninjured, unbroken
Loved and loving but mostly; loving me?

God please!
You know me better than I know myself!
For years and years of my feelings bottled on a shelf
Resigning myself to a secret love ocassionally crashing from above, to break my heart all over again
I never minded it then...

But to have you and have you ripped away
Every night, every day
I will never be ok
The jar is unscrewed and feeling renewed courses through my chilled veins
To remember your gentle callused hands
To remember your words to me when secrets spilled and my tears would repeat
I would give anything for you to stay
Even a day or two of having you Completely having you, is worth more than lifetimes having the next best thing

Open your eyes and deviate to green,
Artifical directions will never lead,
Hunt for magic and rise above greed,
Without it the world will be freed,
Materialistic labor shall be plead,
That is not the way we need to be,
Maybe we should dance with the tree,
Listening to the earth from root till seed.

Mind the skin you touch,
for there's no glove that could ever protect you from the worst of enemies.
Though the flesh is all you may see, you're not that.
But temptation gets so strong till we can't take it, and our bodies are open and bare, left with a heart that's naked.
There's eyes in the dark.
They've been waiting for you, to poke holes at your aura and like a snake they'll slide on through.
Passing from one to another, unaware of what we carry;
If we saw our true selves in the mirror, would the sight not change, or would it be of something scary?
It's hard to tell, even if you know them well their energy can deceive,
till they detach off them and onto your spirit they'll cling.
Sexually transmitted demons, relentlessly scheming to find away to stay alive, waiting for a sleeper to slip by not using their spiritual eyes.
How many souls you got clinging; from the merging of DNA can you still say you feel like yourself? Or is there so many thoughts inside your mind that aren't yours that you can no longer tell?
It's the exchanging of energies that can strengthen us or make us weak,  so mind the skin and if ever you should choose to miss the mark, be aware of the preying eyes,
waiting to cling to you in the dark...

I store at an isolated mark that stood lonesome among the words that were written around the board.
To divert myself from the alien eyes that tore the flesh from my
body.
They dug at my vulnerability.
An odour of discomfort defended it.
My eyes stayed stiff on the meager mark.
To hold my pride strong.
I locked my weakness in the darkness of my mind.
It was no prison.
My mind was a mental asylum.
Crazy thoughts raced around helplessly.
They slashed every enemy besides it’s trusted companion of anxiety.
My head dove into my hands.
They vibrated sending shivers down my body.
Their hierarchy of judgement nipped at my ear.
Or did it?

I was defeated.

The bell jangled and I jumped.
I raised my head in a daze a final time.
I studied the classroom and saw my classmates with their blank faces.
No heads turned.
No whispers heard.
Just people who omitted all around them.
The light shifted when I recognized I was the judge. I caused the war. It’s a battle I lost to myself. The hardest battle of all.

Erase those sad eyes and draw new ones or baby you can't come
Forget the past and move on
Break it down
Act like it didn't happen
Those embarrassing days and fun ones
They werent real
Really?
Now I don't think I can remember
What you said to me
And I don't remember what I wore yesterday just that I wore it
And if you were wondering how I'm doing well I'd say I'm doing just fine but we all know that's a lie
On this earth we all pretend to be something were not
We pretend to be good
we act like we're enough but is anyone ever just enough?
I'm sorry if my questions are annoying you but hold on
I've got many more.
Why are we keeping score?
You are not better than me and I am not better than you
stop feeling blue
Chin up little one
Why are the little ones depressed and dying?
Why are they always crying
Beautiful people we are
no matter how big the scar
So stop scaring Me with these threats of death
stop slicing open your skin your
life is about to begin
get ready to be in love and love you haven't done
not yet
And that's what I don't get
Why do you care what they say when they don't love you and they aren't in love with you
Don't be just yourself
strive to be the best you that you can be
Reach for what you want
take who you want to be with
and if they don't want to be with you then maybe it's not meant to be...