You’re down
an acceptable amount of pleasure
I close my eyes
I’m in the moment

I drift

I’m not here
It’s not you
Now I feel
The one that was before

I feel him
I smell him
I see the light
I hear the street

I miss your taste
Your thoughts
Your words
I miss the moments after

I’m back

Did you notice
I’ve been on autopilot?

There lies the abandoned park bench
We sat there a year ago

Now stained with infinite dust, rain
Pouring torrents of strange anger and

Pulsing sorrow- a heaving chest
Rising and falling , tide like crest

Certain gravity to the fall, to the fallen
(pun unintended)
Unceasing in releasing;

Dusk, dawn
Fall , rise
Black, white

Just universal polarity like
The one between you and me.

A hand to hold, a smile to crave,
A heart to feel, a love to cherish;

All now lies washed down
Dust in the rain
Solitary drops now remain.

In another universe we would have been soul mates, and in another we would have been best friends. Now we are neither. Just fading memories and that's okay. But sometimes I need you not to love or make love to but simply to talk to. You knew me more than anyone else. Even on the days you didn't quite love me. Maybe you could tell me what my heart wanted right now because my love life feels like a disaster. It's painful and exciting all at once and for all the wrong reasons. And I wish you were sitting next to me telling me exactly what I want. So I could disagree only to discover you were always right. That's how we worked. Or maybe that's how we fell apart. All I know now is that I don't love you anymore and that's the most liberating feeling I have ever truly known. I was trapped in this vortex of you. The one where I was determined to have you. And the problem is, the man who pulled me out of the vortex is no longer the same man making me happy. He's no longer the one making my heart twinge the way it use to for you all those years ago. But I'm wearing a ring I made engraved with forever. I'm trying to fall in love again. Because I loved him so much I swear. And I wonder if this is how you felt when we ended. When I would come over and crawl into your bed. I wonder if you tried to fall in love with me again the way I hope I fall in love with him again. And I want it known I do love him but I want to be in love. He makes me smile. But sometimes he makes me cry. Sometimes he makes me really hate myself. And I know I can be a sensitive person but I don't think he quite sees how his words break me sometimes. I want to choose him. I do. I want to say that one day too; I do. But here I am with this twinge in my heart that I'm trying to bury or force away. I tried that with you. I did. But I still ended up loving you nine long years. Tell me first love of mine. How do I say goodbye before I've said hello? How can I choose him? Because the love in his eyes remind me so much of the love I had in mine for you once upon a time.

How does one fall out of love with someone who was once their entire world?
There was once a time I saw my future with you,
Traveling the world, having kids, eventually having grandkids running around our house.
Now I look at you and all I see is someone I do not know.
You used to be so sweet,
But this world has made you cruel.
I used to think I could never spend the rest of my life without you,
But now I see I cannot go on living like this.
All we are is strangers now.

Every time I look at you I see the future
Your hair a light shade of grey,
Crows feet beside your bright blue orbs
I could not imagine ever spending the rest of my life without you,
Nor would I want to
You are my first true love,
And my last

~sdr

it's been a while
your cuts, they don't bleed anymore
but,
as thick as my skin now is
looking at you wearing someone else's smile still ***** me up

It has been well over a year
and I had this sudden surge of curiosity

What happened to the person whom I called my dear?

Was she happy and living in prosperity?
Or did her life fall into hardship?


You have your dream job and dream boss
Your graduation must have put the cherry on top

Our friendship could have stood the test of time
But it was turned on its' head like the flip of a dime

I still remember our last words like yesterday
and it still fills me with great dismay

The person who drove us apart is nowhere to be seen
Is that how long it has been

I also see you found new love
I hope he makes you happy, my dear Dove