"I wish you were real."
She kept crying every night for days and for every restless, sleepless moment you could ever count. It felt like an eternity before this ever had to end.

She never knew that one day
she would wake up and realize that she's had it with all these damp cheeks, dried up tears, clogged nostrils, and sniffling pains.
She never knew that she would throw the very thing that meant the universe to her into the black hole, into the oblivion.

I found you last night
Slipping in and out of my dreams
Silently sliding through hallways and nudging creaking doors
Whispering as you tiptoed through my mind
I found you
As you pulled at one string a little too hard
And I was suddenly overcome with too many "one more kiss" memories, too many bucket-list items never completed, too many times when we tried so hard to fit ourselves together but everything was just too messy.
I found you this morning
Smoking a cigarette in the back of my mind
Making ghosts with the smoke that you used to teach me to spin into swirls
Laughing roughly in the dark way you would when things went to ****
I found you
As you coughed a little because you forgot to switch out puffs of your inhaler with your cigarette
And I was suddenly overcome with an emptiness that couldn't be filled with Netflix binges or Extra-Peanut-Butter Reese's cups or even the ****** poetry that I scribble down angrily with an aching hand and a desperate, gripping need to transfer so much pain through a pen and onto a page and out of me.
Because I miss the way the back of your neck smelled like smoke and nostalgia and the way your mouth tasted like Dr. Pepper and whiskey.
I found you this evening
But I told you I didn't want visitors anymore.

an eternal walk is what i'd call it:
oblivion,

much like my current standing.

i step blindly, not sure of where i'm going:
who to love, who to trust.

there's nothing i can do but keep on going,
because if i were to stop, i would shame those who came before me.

pity the living.

oblivion is what i was given,
i'm not sure if i can take the split

so i'll take the iron stake,
and see what i can make of it

Wouldn't it be nice.
If we died side by side.
Holding hands,
Your head next to mine.
Our ribs crushed together,
From a truck that hit us on the side.

Wouldn't it be nice
If they cremated us side by side
In the funeral pyre we built
With the heat of our own love.
Burning in a pit,
'Til we're charred and black inside.

Wouldn't it be nice
If they threw our ashes to the sea
Off a cliff,
Floating to the breeze.
Without a care,
Just like you and me.

Wouldn't it be nice,
If our souls drifted together.
Towards oblivion,
Hand-in-hand we'll leap.
Let's gravitate from this world,
Alone at last, just you and me.

When you thought your world was crystal clear
were you looking at life through a distorted mirror?

The dinosaurs are dead.
Really dead.
Someday you will be too.

Drifting into oblivion
everything fades into a blur
a faint glimmer of hope lost

Swaying in the wind
weightless heading for a thousand swords
in a stream of fallen dreams

Grasping my heavy armor
I sink into the water
pierced by your nightmarish lies*

Where the truth is beyond the grave
poison lives within the veins
and from death we are but an inch away

As a child
I was always
That kid the teacher
Spoke of
As having my head
In the clouds.

I never saw
The clouds
I was never
Fond of the clouds
I prefer the night
The twinkling stars.

Because there
Is stories in the stars
And the stars hold truth.
A truth that
We aren't alone
And that oblivion is real

I've always felt
Insignificant
When I look at the night sky
Because I realize
Every moment
In this short life
Is just a moment
That could be the last
And I feel motivated
To try
To make my impact.

I have always feared
Oblivion
The inevitable
The thought of being forgotten
Because who doesn't?

I can't stand
To think
That I'll die one day
And know
I never changed the world
I was never a persons reason
To change, to live

I seem crazy
Because how can one
Be the change in the world
And I can't figure it out
But I will do it.

And I'll do it, for my love of the night.

-r.y.s