Will never forget the first time
Was injected with an illegal drug
It was my suggestion
Laughed it off with a shrug
Addiction already running wild
Causing life torture and Hell
We reached the point where
We'd do anything to stay well.
I tentatively offered up
Opportunity, you jumped at the chance
Both saw the answer we craved
Hidden within the other's glance
Was scared, heart beating fast
Doubt building, I stared at the spoon
As the ****** melts, mind wonders
How did life change so much since yesterday afternoon?
Eyes that woke goblins within
Something darker in me
And night welcomed us weightless
Into a new barren wasteland, unevenly
Lucifers playing tricks in the dying light
Blinded in that foolish hour
I saw the syringe held softly in your palm
Goosebumps rose, was awed by its power
Of course fear on my face was clear
You made a half-hearted attempt for me
To ease concern, your cruel comfort
Did little to set uncertainty free
Something smoking deep inside
Whispered "this is leading nowhere good"
You touch flesh, searching for a vein
Stomach sinking, I am doing what I swore I never would
I swallow hard, you tie off my arm
Shoelace wrapped with indifference, no guilt in your eye
You glimpse the tears welling up fast
Say sharply "I'm not going to do it if you're going to cry."
But it is already in the needle
It is a little late to turn back now
I take a deep breath, suppress the teardrops
Shake shame off the sins I chose to allow
Turn my head to avoid the sick sight
Try to focus on the smell of coffee in the air
Let out a quiet whimper when the stinging pain hits
Wishing to teleport anywhere besides there
It was over after a few short moments
I felt better so I told myself it was okay
I promised it would be the last and only time
I have not parted with the needle since that day
This is a very personal one for me, I apologize for anyone offended by the subject matter, but I think its inpprtant to share because once you cross that line is is ******* hard to go back to smoking or however ypu did/do your drugs..
