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A collection of my thoughts in 140 characters and less.
Will be updating more.
--

Play the piano
As you let those hands
slide from one key to another
Let the raging emotions
Echo in the room
Until that final note subsides

--

Smile
Even though you're drowning
I'll save you
Reach out your hand
I'll be your lifeline
I'll be there
Dont worry
I wont let you go
Promise

---

Maybe if you tried
To love him
The way she did
Maybe he wouldn't
Be looking for someone
Better than you

---

Look into his eyes
You can see the beauty
Of the unknown
The longing he has
For something
He can never have
You will see--
Yourself

---

It's 1am
I'm still thinking about
What could have been
What I could have held
and What i could have done
For you to stay
Forever

---

Do not give me
flowers and chocolates
They cant suppress my desire
to hold you tight
and tell you
"you're mine"
while we lay under the stars

---

It's a special day
For you and I
As you get ready
For the ringing bells
Of the church
And I,
Get ready for my
First day at work

---

When I saw your name
I no longer felt the pain
I couldn't remember the happiness
I won't go back to the past
And I was sure
I was over you

---

People are like puppets
We can constantly deny it
But there are strings
Attached to our souls
Manipulating us to do what must be done


---

If I were given a chance
To turn back time
I won't change my past
Instead, I'll visit myself
Drop a note with the lottery's
Winning numbers

---

We're not friends
We're more than that
You're just too arrogant
To acknowledge that fact
Because of that,
You lost me in the sea
Of sorrow


---

My vision started to blur
When you told me
You wanted to leave
I never really enjoyed
Smoking and drinking
But it's all I could
Think about

---

Maybe you're right
We've grown too different
To understand each other
We've drifted apart
From the neutral ground
We used to call home

---

If you saw me in a different light
Would you take the risk
Of falling in love with me
Even though it probably
won't end right
Would you?

---

You're going to slip
Through my fingers
Like you always do
But today's different
I'm going to let you go
Without hesitation or regret

---
Cordelia Rilo Sep 2015
I drove down the 605 and lost track of time.
"I'm just one drug run away from death", I thought to myself
as I listened to country blues and wondered how I'll feel
when I'm ten years older.
I thought I wanted kids but maybe I was wrong
I'm not sure if I'm tired of being tired
or bored of being bored
or which would be worse.
The heater blasts hot air against my face
It's too hot so I turn it on cold
It's too cold.
It never feels right.
Ashley Jul 2015
Many need to realize
that depression?
Isn't just sadness.
It isn't just feeling down.
I write this with some,
irritation.

There are people who throw
the word depression around
when they mean sadness
or having an off day.

I don't mean to sound so much
like a pompous ***.
But depression is having off days
one right after the other
after the other
after the other.

It feels so painful
and empty
and hollow
and aching.

Aching not even for
a glimmer of happiness.
More aching to not feel
such emptiness.

If I exaggerate it's only
to further prove how far removed
depression is from
run of the mill sadness.

I'm not an authority
on what depression is
or how it affects everyone
or how it doesn't affect everyone.

I just know how mine feels.
I don't speak for all those
fighting the good fight
against depression.

I'm just speaking my mind
pointing out how so many
misunderstand, what I feel
is a simple concept to grasp.
I've been diagnosed for a while with depression. Sometimes when I see someone complaining they feel depressed for a day, I become a tad perturbed. This is the result of that feeling.
Mable Erina May 2015
This isn’t my life.
I’m just going through the motions until they get back.
Holding their place until they are done playing in mine.
One day we will trade back.
But for the time being, I’m stuck.
Being them.
Arif Somji Mar 2015
If you ask me what it is love

What do you want me to tell you?

Do you want to know the way it feels or what it does to you?

For the way it feels, people can tell you things or you can read stories but

You can’t feel love till you feel it.

As for what it does to you,

This is no easy task.

It can envelope you and consume you,

It can elevate you or keep you on your knees,

It can empower you or destroy you,

It does many things to you,

I can’t even begin to explain what it has done to me.

But I’ll tell you what,

It’s worth it,

Whatever love I had or have,

I always have someone that loves me,

And when I’m in love, I fall in love.

Deep under into its sweet abyss,

Energy that just runs through your body and shakes your soul,

Something that makes you forget small things,

Such as the hate, sadness, pain and anger.

You grow into something that comes from nothing and is filled with this thing called love.

You look past imperfections and materialistic objects,

Into what’s actually real and pure,

The core of your being,

That which makes you shine and bright,

Once you’ve loved,

You learn that there’s a choice of how to live and react to situations,

Making mistakes is what will get you to love,

For that which is not normal,

Puts you in a space of multiple possibilities,

And opening your mind to the unknown,

You’ll learn love in ways you can’t imagine.

And in that you are different,

Not a different person, but in fact your true self.

When you are the person you are inside but able to live it outside,

Not that you don’t normally,

But you are your most complete self, when you’re comfortable in your own skin.

Doing the things that matter,

Rather than worrying about all the little things that prevent you from true potential.

Love pushes you forward from what you wanted into something unexpected.

And isn’t that beautiful.

I want to continue,

I know what I feel and can express my true self to you,

But you’ll have your own experience at it.

This is one piece of script in a book that has no ending till you die and not even then.

Find yourself in love,

And let it take over you,

Give in order to receive,

And don’t expect it back

So you lose no love,

And have no motive to love,

Instead love just to love,

Whole-heartedly.
Written March 9th, 2015
Ember Evanescent Jan 2015
Dear The Boy Who Is Wasting My Time and Emotion,

I can do so much better than you.

no you can't

You are hurting me, every time you speak to me, you break me a little more.

Get over it Princess. You deserve it. God, you're pathetic.

Stop texting me when you have a girlfriend

but you want him to, secretly

I am going to find someone someday who is so much better than you.
Someone who will treat me right instead of treating me like I'm his
Plan B. I'm going to find someone who doesn't drink and get high to
work out his problems when he can't even legally drive yet. That's not
called "being complicated and deep" as you seem to think, it's
called "being an alcoholic and a druggie". I'm going to find someone
who reads, who likes the same books I do and won't make fun of the
series I love that saved me from myself when I wanted to **** myself.
I'm going to find someone with a good heart, who CARES about me,
who will not be Broken but will be okay with me being Broken. Who
will fix me. Not someone who just wants an ego boost like you do.

you will never find anyone like that. You will never do better than
him.


You really aren't who you used to be

So? You should take what you can get, stupid girl. No boy has ever
liked you, and no boy ever will. No boy has even called you pretty
besides him.


You're bad for me.

You are not worth anything better

You say you are sorry and regret hurting me, but I don't believe you

believe him

I want to believe you. So badly

so then just believe him!

but I can't

you stupid ugly worthless *****...

And even if I did believe you, you don’t even like me. You haven’t
even spoken to me for a month. A MONTH you *******!

You’re not worth noticing or speaking to. Why would he care? Just
take it. Take how he treats you and deal with it. It’s what you deserve.
Get used to it, *****.


Even if we talked for a while, for a long while and you managed to
deceive me enough into getting close with you again, then if you asked
me out and we went back down the path we were on before you
dropped me so easily, I could never trust you. You text me flirty texts
while you’re WITH HER! You HAVE a girlfriend and NO girl deserves
to be treated like that. No girl deserves to have an unfaithful boy who
is in her life, but is not committed to her when he claims he is.

You deserve that.

Not even me.

Yes you do.

So I don’t deserve to be treated the way you treat me. I get a mini heart
attack every time you text me and I’d like you out of my life.

Don’t do that. You’ll regret it. You are so, so alone you stupid *****.
What are you thinking?


I can do better than you. I can find someone who likes me. Someone
who’s idea of a good time doesn’t involve ecstasy. Someone who
doesn’t need to be drunk to say something nice to me.

Oh please. You will never ever find anyone.

Please just stop now. I have bigger problems than a boy like you.

Your problems could be solved with a  boy like him though!

I told you that you didn’t hurt me. I am lying. I’m not going to let you
keep hurting me however.

But the pain is so addictive. Let him keep hurting you. It makes you
feel like maybe you’re worth something, if you have his approval. If he
tells you you’re pretty, it makes you wonder for a second if the mirror
is wrong. You will never be convinced, but it makes you wonder, for
just a split second. It hurts, but it’s a lovely split second. Listen to me!


I’m NOT YOUR F!CKING CONSILATION PRIZE okay?

Yeah. You’re right about that, at least. What kind of ******
consolation prize would you be? Who would want you? You’re not a consolation prize to him, you’re just a another girl for when he’s bored. That’s all you deserve to be. Take it, worthless. You’re ugly. Take what you can get.


Usually, this is where I’d say: I’m sorry. Goodbye. But I am not sorry
and I’ve apologized to you far too many times so far and I shouldn’t
have. I had nothing to be sorry about.

You always have something to be sorry about. Apologize that he has
to look at you and your ugly face. That you exist. That you are wasting
space on his phone with your picture and your contact and your texts.
Apologize for being so difficult and annoying and desperate and
pathetic and self-centered and self-deprecating and say you’re sorry
that you ever offended him by being so pompous as to believe for even
just half a second (or half a summer, as it were) that you could be
worthy of his interest. Because you are worth nothing. You are not
enough. You are inferior. You are a failure. A waste.


So goodbye.

-Ember.

You’ll regret it later. You will never find a boy as good as him. Ever.
You will never even find another guy. You don’t deserve him, let alone
anyone else. It was a fluke that he ever ended up with the misfortune
of knowing you. You will never do better than him.


Yes I will.

No you won’t, you stupid ugly worthless *****.

Yes. I will.
My dark side is in the bolded letters.

Well, there's your waste of time for the day: Me.

Sorry for being so annoyingly self-deprecating. I know, it's very pathetic. I just am so sick of this guy who keeps suddenly texting me out of the blue and throwing all my emotions way off.
I once asked you "What is love?"
You said a feeling like no other
When you would risk your life
Give everything for someone

I know I've felt it before
If only for a brief moment
Because love is but a flash
A moment, a day, a lifetime

It's there so fast
Gone even faster
And what's left for you
But a broken heart
I keep thinking in bad poetry
Ember Evanescent Dec 2014
it doesn't matter it's fine he is worth nothing to me I can let him go I wish I had just shut up no I don't miss him God I miss him no I miss the idea of him he was nothing special I am never going to learn why am I so overdramatic and pathetic I get stupid after midnight I hate life no I don't I just hate myself yeah that's fair enough I don't know what's wrong with me why did I text him during one of my broken moments there is something wrong with me I hate everything but mostly myself and him but I don't hate him no I really DO hate him I loathe him why did I waste my time I am a pathetic loser why I am I doing this to myself I can't escape my own head I hate everything why do I keep saying that I am getting sick of hating everything why does he have to exist I should ****** him with a chainsaw oh yes I would enjoy that oh wait that's illegal okay why am I spending so much time on it I should really be doing work right now I am really stupid okay I have accomplished nothing today I am just an option for him I am just another pathetic little ego boost I hope he dies alone I hope he is okay he is not okay I am not okay I am not okay I am not okay omfg what if wrong with me why do I have to be this dumb he is damaged from the divorce of his parents so he is being a ******* and acting out, maybe that's it maybe he will change NO. don't think like that he will not change ever don't expect him to why do you like him anyway I don't like him I don't like him well I kind of do I don't know what I'm thinking I can't breathe he would never give me a second look and I don't want him to except I want him to so I can break him but he won't I am worthless.
I am losing my mind.
Naptural Mermaid Nov 2014
To those who protest on why they should say the word *****
Unfollow me

To those whose heart does not mourn over an innocent life of POC
Unfollow me

To those who yell "go back to Africa"
Unfollow me
if you cannot comprehend that your ancestors where not here first

To those who fail to understand their white privilege
Unfollow me

To those who scream out "what about black on black crime"
Unfollow me
If you're blind to the multiple genocide your people create and label as "war"

To those who simply choose to ignore this injustice
Unfollow me for no action at all is the greatest injustice of all
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