have you ever drank a river?
stretched your lips over it's banks
and ****** everything —
the fishes,
the canoes,
and the boots
that sunk 5 years ago.

I am so thirsty that if I could stretch my mouth
around this planet
and crunch the glaciers,
swallow the oceans,
and breathe in the clouds —

It would not still be enough.

But see what nature did.
It gave me a small mouth
and a mind that believes
that a cupful
is enough.

At the end of the day,
It’s always me and music,
Nothing could ever change it,
Replace it,
For it was my whole world-
Kept it spinning,
Without it,
If could not survive,
Never abandoned me,
Held my heart,
Moved my soul, attached,
I hope to find someone who understands,
Understands like music does,

because music was always there,
The worst times,
The best times,
Even when everything was plummeting ,
Despaired-
It never left me,
My shoulder to cry on,
To understand and comfort,
Like no person would,
When I was left out and alone,
It never left me,
for it is part of me,
So even thought it’s strange,  
I really could not live without my sweet saviour of symphonies

-JJ
17/03/25

My sister is driving miserably
While I’m writing some novel with ghosts
The song playing sickens me biblically
Like the angels with eyes for words
There’s a light from the street eating me
Awkwardly asking for me to be free
‘O sweet, little phantom don’t stop waiting
One day I’m sure to oblivion I’ll flee

My sister them murmurs asking me
The stars from the mirror to see
All I could sight were murderers of dreams
That will never belong
And my heart is the only noise I need
In this hypothetically, torturous day
The stars crown the sky
And music exploits people’s aches with dance
But I’m still writing letters to unknown lovers
Pretending I’m ******* their happiness
While searching the meaning of lust
As they still owe me what’s left from my soul
‘oh how I’d like to kiss you until breath’s presence is gone’
I write while I’m adjusting some tears that will never fall

The ghosts from the novel are inspired by oaths I took
Promising myself to make friends with
Nostalgia and grief
Someday I might publish it
Maybe when I’m already a ghost
Maybe my work will be lost for a while
And the letters will find their suitors without me

But until then I’m a memory
To someone’s yearly alcohol dose

And the song changes suddenly
Reminding me the melody
That nights harmonize
To eros’ arrows
And I’m longing to bleed
So I can feel
What psyche yearned for in life
The most.

I was angry at the world,
Until I get to see you sleep;
There and then,
Turbulent waves grew calm ashore,
Stars twinkled more brightly than ever before,
You were the oasis I've been looking for.

I never knew love had a sound,
Until I heard you laugh;
There and then,
Your voice became music to my ears,
It was all I ever wanted to hear;
A hymn that erases my anxiety and fears.

I never thought a love like this was even possible,
Until you came along;
There and then,
I want to spend my eternity with you;
In difficult times, we’ll see through;
Thanks for showing me a love so pure and true.

Often, I yearn for the visitor of my destiny to come, I am often astray in myself at how he will ask, “doesn’t the scent of the night’s cool air after rain feel entrancing with jazz music?,  I walk upon the grass as the moth heralds it’s sudden appearance before vanishing, I envision him in my mind’s eye arriving gentler than velvet wings before myself in the meadow of white flowers carrying the stars lustre, they behold their floral gaze upon us, the two mortals who cradle each other in their arms as he softly speaks to my ear, “oh songbird, hold the music box of my soul dear, it plays the notes of my heart for you” to which I would remain calm, for I could not find my voice to return his treasure of symphonies, I would linger in this phantasm, though for now I am savoring the sun’s first light over the verdant heights.