What just happened?
Why does the mighty being look so small today?
Why are your usual bright eyes now shedding tears?
So many eyes deem you ferocious
But who among them could see your heart of butter?
You who once lead a pack
Who put your life on the line for every hunt
Who showed the way for the young ones to walk
Who once believed all the pack members to be your own
Is now roaming all alone.
The sun lost his brilliance out of sorrow
And the winds bore your tears
And the clouds brought rain to hide your heartbreak.
O, great wolf, can’t you see?
The world is wailing after your throes
But it is also wishing you to overcome the tribulation
For who else can if even you can’t conquer your heart?
O, mighty wolf, you may be alone
But you still have the heart of an alpha
So please keep moving forward
And prove all ill-wishers wrong.

Let gravity guide you to certainty
It is where you can, again, be whole
Tame your past over a cup of tea
Do not fall, again, to the rabbit hole

I don't know that most people
believe me
when I say I've changed.
I took surviving my suicide attempt
as an opportunity
to try and never get to that point again.

I realized
how lonely
my body was,
with my heart so far away from it.

I crashed back into myself,
and felt the sting in every
nail bitten
finger tip.
Inspected all the sore parts of my body,
touched my temple
and let myself think again.

I've been walking around
as a body
with the rest of me dragging behind,
Because I wanted to hurt less,
but so
much
more
damage was done.

Yet,
it's still better to be back
and feel the pain
than it was to run away.

I tell people I've changed
but they don't know
that crashing back into myself
changed me so much.

I took what could have been an end,
and made it give me new life.

Here I stand amidst this old and dear familiar grove.
Where we were happy, laughed together and used to roam.
This special place, where my heart felt warm and contently at home.
In the center, the floret we had wrought with our hands together,
has shriveled and drooped, its petals scarred by life's stormy weather.
As two pairs of hands, we tended to this special flower,
watering its leaves and roots with our love at every hour.
Yet, with your pair missing, the world has sought to devour
this tender and slim thing, it's precious form shivering from this frigid rain shower.
I can only sit and watch, watch as this flower of feelings divine,
degrades into nothingness, as the mites of time gnaw away at it's spine.
Do you even fondly remember this precious blossom?
The very bloom you wished to protect and cherished as awesome?
I wish in my heart, that the roots will take to the soil again,
and spark into new life and flow forth freely like ink from a pen.
Yet, reality is oft crueler than I wish, as the past shall forever remain so.
Shall this sad, sweet flower of ours, never again grow?
What remains for the future of this flower is the only question within my heart.
Is it too late to amend our conflicts? Too late for a fresh start?
To begin anew and salvage this connection that grew?
Am I too late? Did that opportunity pass without a clue?
Should I lament its passing and bury this heartfelt cause?
The only answer my soul knows is that with meeting you, loving you, and losing you, I came to understand my mortal flaws.
I am no perfect being. I am not a perfect man.
No man can truly be perfect, as if designed by a heavenly plan.
We are marred creatures, some with a dream to do better,
to grow from our failings, and gradually remove the past's crushing fetter.
So these mistakes anchored within us all, will be lifted from our souls,
and allow us to bound into the future, free, happy and whole.
Yet still deep within my heart, a sleeping desire it can only utter,
that our love's fire will be reignited, and shall never again sputter.
That I shall return back into the comforts of your warm embrace,
to hold you tight, to love you always and especially kiss your adorable rosy face.