Ever since I was born, I was placed in between two empty fields of darkness.
Empty, soulless planes of nihil that eternally stab me with endless sharpness.
I was once nothing for an eternity before I appeared in this form in this life.
And I'll be nothing once again after I finally rescind my last breath in strife.
A dead soul who is condemned to repeat the failures of a failed history,
A silent voice unable to express bitter resentment for living years of misery.
This frigid air of the funeral wind is penetrating my barren, lifeless skin.
I was lured into this life by promises of joy; albeit, joys that I could never win.

You are there, you are in front of me
I reached my hand towards your face
I do not want to wake up from this reverie
I do not want another moving on phase
But as I open my eyes I see agony
For you are not there in the first place

Where are you going,
and where have you been?
How long have you traveled,
never finding the end?

How can you keep moving,
towards the nothing you see?
How’d you become a prisoner,
yearning to be free?

When did you realize,
nothing mattered anymore?
When did the clarity hit you,
that it didn’t matter before?

When did the hate,
take control of you?
Guiding your actions,
and all that you do.

When did the darkness,
begin to creep in?
Consuming the light,
that used to shine within.

When did you decide,
to stop living your life?
Each day as painful,
as a fresh cut from a knife.

There has to be more,
I’m just afraid that there’s not.
My hope has dried up,
and I’m scraping the ***.

So what do you do,
when your mind kills your heart?
When you’re so overwhelmed,
you don’t know where to start.

If you should find answers,
then please let me know.
Until then I’ll keep in the hurt,
and try to not let it show.

Glass roses of blue
Cigarettes and amaretto
Served with milk tears
Candy giggles take it back
Build a house from
what's lacking
Break black ties and
Want to wear heels out
For no one but
The television and
Steam mangling in a box
I need to get off frail mind lines like
Dreading time
Loving this lipstick and
I am not a girl anymore
I filthy my own nest
And i'm blind as I am blessed

As a leaf departs from a twig which dears her true
And which on his care and ardor adamant
So acquiescent and frail you depart too
With the swift wind you became compliant
Then, ceiling became my kind of sky
But bare and dull contrast to that azure canopy placed high
Bed is now my kind of meadow green and dazzling
But damp not of dew but of my tears overflowing
My breath turned into a summer zephyr
Warm and gentle, repose to my fear
My tears grew into an ocean abysmal
Immeasurable with ripples cataclysmal.

You're the condition to my malicious mission,
The vulnerable variables subject to my evil intention,
The unknowing lab rats of my malignant invention,
The objects of my intensely pestilent tension,

Stuck in your habitual greed
Stuck craving things you don't need
For this many will starve despite having plenty of seed,

In spite of your delusions of grandeur you're no more heaven worthy than an ant,
You want heaven? You want to ascend? Too bad, you can't,
So feel free to end your little chant

My message was tainted by the picture your pathetic minds painted,
You think I'm proud of what I created? Wow your egos are inflated,
little do you know you're actually hated,
and the afterlife is just the pain of existence perpetuated with all shades of happiness faded,

Slathered in sin
If there was a heaven none of you would make it in,
Your toxin will remain in your coffin with your rotting skin

Made weak and divided by barriers I provided
Dumb and broken by travesty I invited
Wrong by nature and I've ensured your inferiority won't be righted

Your happiness is permanently temporary,
Your minds are filled with false clarity and your creation wasn't the product of charity,

It was entertainment.

Tears are building up inside of me;
it speaks of my sadness, like a soliloquy.
This pain, I know of, still lingers in my heart;
as if it's not ready to let go or be apart.

I know it already, that he is gone.
Thinking about it, feels like I've been hit by a ton.

Someday I know this pain will go away...
but the memories of him, will always stay.