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D Oct 2015
I never asked to be born this way
Maybe if I was consulted I's be okay
But I wasn't - I don't know what to say
My times running short, my choices limited each day

* * *

You said you think I'm brave
because I can speak my mind
I don't think I'm brave
'cause if I were I would've taken my life


* * *

I'm a coward of the worst kind
One that uses a mask to hide behind


* * *

It's so easy to forget when I'm with you
You make me happy just being alive
But the moment you leave
and I'm left on my own,
My thoughts scream at me
and there's no where to hide

* * *

*Practice make better but I've
     been practicing for years.
Nothings gotten any better, in
      fact all my fears
Are only getting stronger, and
     I'm fighting back tears
'Cause they say practice makes
      better, but I don't think I could take another year.
Just my thoughts from today.
Katherine Laslie Oct 2015
It's unfortunate
That you had to die
Even more so
Because it was me who
Had held the knife

******, you cried
******, so perfect
The way you screamed
When your stomach
Was exposed

Your heart was racing
In a fear unspoken
Your breathing was slim,
For your lungs would not open

Blood paints the walls
And I take a taste
Someday maybe I
Will share the same fate
Welcoming death's
Eternal embrace
Ayeshah Sep 2015
He watched as I  'slept",

seems as if my chest is rising and falling in tune

as he breathed deeply through parted lips.

 He shed his clothes and,

wearing only his boxers,

he stretched out alongside me.

 He trailed a finger down my cheek,

my neck,

caressing every inch of my body

 He bent his head to nuzzle my smooth  COLD skin,

flicking my ear with his tongue.

 A soft moan escaped his lips.

A single tear slides down my face.....

No One Can Hear Me!

Always Me Ayeshah ™ ®
         K.A.C.L.N ©
     All right reserved ®
Copyright 1977 - Present
He's Killed me!
Kale Sep 2015
The willow tree
That I sit under
Beckons me to sleep
It holds me tight
Like the memories
I dearly keep.
But once in a while
It brings me despair
Causing me tears.
I couldn't handle
The thought of your
Blood shed and tears.
Instead of facing
The dark abyss
I lay dangling
From the tree's
Branch
Scott Lipka Sep 2015
I have a coffin full of memories
Love of death and morbid curiosities
Grave full of dirt and lifeless bones
Not cold or dark enough to be home
Pale and lifeless, limp and dead
Thoughts of eternal night fill my head
T E Pyrus Aug 2015
does
the caged soul
in the lantern
make you wonder
if all things
bright and beautiful
were to be seen
but never felt?
or did your
scheduled interruption
of ludicrous
malcontentment
waltz right into
your empty mindspace
and pluck your
pretty eyeballs out,
because, well, i
obviously convinced
him to, and
what good were
they, anyway?
you never
saw me
storm into your
vaulted life
with half determination,
clear the dust
off your subconscious
so you could see
the constellation;
you city lamp,
it hurt your pride
when you learnt
to look inside
and found an
excavated void
of vice and
nowhere you
can hide,
tell me, was it
arduous to decide
to climb
the cliff
and learn
to fly?
i'll tell you why:
that vengeful
little bird
has acquiesced
without a word
to aim and
shoot you in
the leg, then
watch you grovel,
watch you beg
until you shatter
onto the floor,
heartbreaking
piteous and poor,
like a broken
autumn leaf
but it's not
pretty anymore;
molten wax
around your ankles,
i'll let you
ornament my
candle stand,
let you burn
right through
the night; i
should've known
my little
counting stars
were far too
bright, too fluorescent
for you, feckless,
worthless, bewitching
scrap of pretty, vain
frustration.
T E Pyrus Aug 2015
don’t you spark
the fire and
abandon me,
you abstraction
of insolent
soliloquy of
elegance; all
of existence
craves a taste
of your savory,
effortless
whimsicality;

i’ll sail upon
a thundercloud,
braid the stars
into my hair
and remunerate
for my flawed,
scarred skin,
scathed soul,
with mellow
eyelashes like
rain; macrocosms
look vain,
through a
night-owl’s eyes;

trust my lies
when you fancy
truth, a vile elusive
absolute; trust
my eyes when
you fancy cold
decimation of
love and gold;

the morse code:
remains of your
melodramatic memory;
never look away
from me; i’ll fix
you like a broken
puppy toy, scuttle
across the bedroom
floor with agonizing
apathy, stay forever
and always with me
with your binary love,
you trivial, perfect machine.
grace Aug 2015
It will happen someday
but I'm not looking forward to it
because all I've ever seen
in regards to love
is manipulation and abuse
and being guilted and used
and I don't want to be on either side of that.

you told me I was in love
I was too young to know
that the second the back of your hand
met my 13 year old face
I should've left
but hearing bottles break in my head
from my empty, numb childhood
convinced me to stay instead

I got too close too fast
and started to feel trapped
under the weight of keeping you happy
I contorted myself into something I'm not
stopped letting myself open up
I spit venom at your feet
and walked off
to afraid to look you in the eyes
too numb to say goodbye

I didn't get that close
in the few months we had
but enough to trust you and tell you ****
then feel the burn like acid in my chest
when I left temporarily
and you left, period.
After, of course,
letting me buy you a plane ticket.

I never got close to you
I clarified that that's how
this was supposed to go
but I could see the way you looked at me
in the aftermath of ***
and heard you call me beautiful
so I left...
now I think of us in bed
and cringe, still full of regret

I can feel myself getting close
in the sense that when I leave
I want you to want me to stay the night again
you make me feel protected
and the feeling of that alone
isn't something I expected
and in fact it scares me to death
I keep waiting for it to get ******
but so far, nothing
(convince me to leave).

you used me as a punching bag.
you used me for attention.
you used me for money.
you started to love me.
you...still unclear.
all I know is that I've never felt
textbook style love
without the undertones
of intense apprehension
and fear of the unknown
honestly,
I'm scared as ****
Different stories, one theme.
T E Pyrus Aug 2015
countdown to the
nearest thirteen;
life on the red
satin ribbons seem
like fairy-tales in disguise;
dress you in laces and frills
like a string puppet;
the monster under my bed
will bring you down
with my consent;
here's a world
where skin is thicker
than leather when
you hold the blade;
'tis all the same for me;
rush of cold metal
on your skin
rush of cold metal,
blood on your lips;
live and let live
but **** or be killed;
here's a hypocritical
world of love;
psychedelic bewilderment
and what kills you
makes me stronger;
i'll fill my pockets
with your memories,
your darkest reflections
are but a confused
midnight kitten;
hold still, my sprightly love
while i paint you
onto my soul;
blood on canvas.
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