The clouds follow me every where.
No matter where and what the situation is.
The clouds are always with me.

When I’m in the dark,
there is no such thing as light
but just clouds.
Pouring rain with clouds.

These clouds would not stop following me.
They haunt me down every where I go.
In situations where I’m in such joy,
the clouds walk along with me.

I’m thankful for clouds
Because after the rain, there’s rainbows.
Even though there are rainbows, all I saw was rain and clouds.

To be embraced in the abyss's
empty-hearted hold
and flinch at the caress
of a foreign hand
is truly
and admittedly
a painfully pleasing hurt

You leave me in this kind of
horizontal existence
one where my fingers
dance atop my desk
and my conscious mind
is polluted with perfectionism

How to desire and despise
hate and hunger
for you
Please be mine
for the rest of the eternity
for I could never feel so apart
yet so together
with anyone else

So what's behind this door
What? Could there be more?
**** it lets see what's there
Every once in awhile I'll pull your hair
Out of the waters that you drown with no care
Hmm walking talking waiting for the next call
Leading us to the lair
Like we don't know at all
That there's a miscommunication
But we'll treat it like a simulation
We'll keep working in the dealings
Finding another reason to deal with the feelings

You make me hungry
...
Let me try again
...

We sat and watched
Walked and touched
Stood and kissed

I promise I do more than just sweat

Oh I wanted to apologize
For breaking your stuff
And
For being flakey
And
For the way the universe spun our destinies in an inexplicable, individual intersection rather than a permanent, parallel path.

AND I wanted to thank you
For all the funny videos
And
For being my crash course
And
For your thoughts, your consistent focus, your dependability in a GOD FORSAKEN world at the times I needed clarity and all I could see was the back of the lenses made to help me see farther

Tell me, does this sound like a goodbye?

Let's just be genuine like we always are

I dig you.

And
I don't want to be the one to bury you.
I know a good amount of your scars and I don't want my name on one of them.

Not one

So before we do this,
before we commit
to this perishable product and it's ever approaching expiration date.

Let's be genuine like we always are

Tell me it won't hurt. Tell me you can take it. Tell me... The truth?
Is that what I want?

I thought I wanted the truth. Now I only want it if it's not what I expect.

SO SURPRISE ME

is that what I'm trying to say?

Honey
Baby
I'm a sucker for surprises
I mean
Aren't we all?
Don't we all
Need a good shock to the system every now and then?
And that's all you've ever been to me

So you'll tell me what I want to hear and call it the truth, harboring ulterior motives.
And I'll buy into it and call it acceptable, thinking, "things have changed" "it's different now" "this can work"
You can make a man lie to himself so easily, you know that?

Resentment?
No
Frustration?
Not really

What is it?

You make me hungry
...
Let me try again
...

No

Not again