“The tree has fruit,”
Hands sticky,
Face smeared,
My stomach turning
“The fruit is rotten,”
Laughing, another in your hand
The first bite unearths no worm, no insect
Only the soft, wet peach-flesh
You’d expect from one of us.
“Isn’t it sour?
Isn’t it bitter?
Does the aftertaste not resemble
Pesticidal poison?”
Quiet now,
Only the sound of leaves shaking,
The pull of branch and the wobbly return,
The fruit’s fuzz against my fingers,
My lips.
I do not take a bite.

here you will find me naked
   without all my layers
                   of long silences
or calm reassurances
                                                         here
            you will find me confessing
       to Each and every
                   secret that could've just as easily been a lie

                          HERE
          YOU will find ME
More bare
             laid out in front of you
    honest and wild than when
                    we made love with the curtains open in the early morning before you went to work and I went to sleep



here
i am
                       How Dare You
               Look at me
                              out of
     Jealousy
   *mistrust
           *Fear

car ride,*
to,
your house,
to,
your yard,
up,
the stairs,
to
your front door,
to,
enter,
to,
step inside,
to,
look around,
to,
be leaded,
up,
stairs,
to,
stop,
to,
open the door,
to,
enter,
to,
wait for you,
to,
sit with my friend,
in,
your room.
to,
watch you enter,
to,
ask you about your day,
to,
be your friend.
but,
you, lay, down,
to,
pull, me close,
to,
not, let go,
to,
get, on, top,
to,
go, down, my pants,
to,
take, off, my top,
to,
not, hear me, when I screamed,
**STOP.

Confirmation is always hard.
Especially from those whom you trust.

I hate to admit the truth, I wanted so desperately to be  proven wrong.
Yet the evidence gives me a strong case

It hurts to know.
I just don't comprehend.

What did I do wrong?
That I was kicked out,
yet she got to stay?

Why did it stop me,
*but not her?

How do you perceive the world
A world as dark and happy,
Suppressive and full of opportunity,
As another headache or painkiller,
Or as much of a heartbreak
Or heart-filler?

Where does one draw the line
In the figurative dirt of
Trust or mistrust,
Of isolation and lust?

How have you been conditioned to view this world?
Through two windows to a compact machine
Cogs and gears turning, calculating...
What am I seeing?

Are you happy with yourself,
              When you jot down lies?

Do you smile as your forked tongue,
               Contorts itself putting pen to paper?

Does your reflection haunt you,
                Or are you used to that monster staring back?

Do you fear that once all your sin spills out,
                You will have nothing left to offer?