It has been so long since I last saw you,
Haven't thought about you in a while so I thought I was good
Recently I have been asking myself why I think about you so much-
I think about all our shared memories and how I was touched

I thought I had no problem moving on and forgetting our past;
I did not expect that my lingering feelings for you would last
"Why couldn't I just accept your love and stay?"
I have been asking myself this question every day

I have forgotten your voice, your looks, your smile
My memories of you have been cast away in a messy pile
I miss the way you would understand,
Listen carefully and be there whenever I needed a hand

I miss the way you could read my mind;
Know what to say even when the words were hard to find
I miss the way you could put a smile on my face;
Make the stresses go away and help me forget my mistakes

You'll never read this but I want you to know:
The truth behind my decisions, and that I was loyal
The letters we exchanged were few but meaningful,
They are the only things I can currently cling onto

I hope that you have been doing well, I really do
Staying away from you is probably the best thing I can do for you
I am really sorry for the hurtful, regretful things I have done to you,
Although you say that it's fine, I still feel so guilty for what ensued

Mixed feelings start overwhelming me as I am seeing you soon,
Am I nervous, excited, or over the moon?
I don't know how you feel but I hope to set things right again,
Maybe we can be good friends again if my feelings I can constrain

21/11/2021

you
with your soft blues
and lyrical words
you whisper my name
and i see rolling green hills
and sapphire sunsets
each syllable
a prayer on your lips
your breath brushes my neck
and i know in that moment
i would follow you
into hell and back
just to have you
to myself
a little while longer.

I'm the harsh reality, contorted, you are a beautiful dream,
I'm a lost thirsty traveler, you are a joyous river stream,
I'm the random wasted thought, you are an ingenious idea,
I'm a cactus, only capable of hurt, you are the blooming white magnolia.

But wait for me, I said, and
that I was coming home,
Yet you left without a word,
leaving me all alone,

It’s been a year since you
parted from us,
My heart still aching, thinking
about every memory of us,

I can’t pretend that I don’t miss
you and that I am fine,
Coz every little thing reminds me that
I’ve lost what was only mine,

You were my home, but now
home seems so far away,
No matter how difficult it is,
you have always taught me
to find my way,

Eyes filled with tears,
Trying to hide my fears,

I stand alone by
these endless shores,
Knowing that I am never going
to find a love, quite like yours…