Bettie
The most emo girl
I’ll ever know
Bettie
Her smile was a bright light
At the Darkroom
petite and sweet
cute to boot  

Her kind green eyes
found mine
Full of tears and fear
mascara smeared

She took me by the hand
She led me to the sound
She pulled me in to dance
and sing along to mad songs
Played by her man and his band
He planned a fallacy

We sang loud, we screamed
We jumped up and down
And we were okay, lost in a rare moment
But we woke up with no voice
Our hearts crushed, was it lust?
Were we really stupid *****?
Perky **** with cotton candy wits, huh?

It’s a good thing
you’re so pretty
Because you’ll find
a man to marry
As long as you keep
Your mouth shut
and your legs open
Not too much
Not too little

I wish I could take away your pain

Because it’s deep in me too
#MeToo was too late for you
It’s tragic it’s too late to relate
kindred spirits separate  
No click click to get on with
Left here holding the pain.
They say you’re at peace
I hope you are, you deserve it

It was too much and it had to stop
No one would listen
now there is a spot missing
For you on stage
We should be singing together
About how we’ve had enough  
We should be screaming together
About their gaze and graze
their misogynistic
Mind games that
Stole our innocence
and buried us in shame
You should still be here
Putting men in their places
I say wait, my heart breaks
anger rises because
Another one skates away
They should be gone
They should live with shame
But they just skate away

Why do I only relate with the ones below?
Suicidal role models
The world cries when it’s too late
I heard your song but was too far away

one day she was sent
to a man sprawled ‘cross the pavement
in blistering sun
he, ignored by everyone.
the nice girl instinct compelled her,
alongside Hippocratic responsibility as a doctor.
her good samaritan arc began,
he her neighbour, the collapsed man
she offers him aid,
and suggests he move to the shade.
her medical assessment deems him well
but onlooker pressure to do more, she cannot quell.
he asks her to buy him heavy drink-
she tells him to have another think.
they compromise and she buys him food
just like a good samaritan should.
She wishes him a good afternoon
but all too soon
the tale begins to muddle
as he approaches for a ‘cuddle’
her sense of unease
overwhelms her compulsion to people please
“I’d rather not but all the best though”!
- he snaps and his true colours show.
the nausea hits
as he starts to shout about her ****
and chips at her sense of self respect
with an accusing “you look like you like ***”
she fights irate tears
over his leers,
summons her tough
and states that’s enough.
when he spits on her feet
she backs down the street,
maintains her false front
as he yells ******* c* * .
words shouldn’t cut
but she’s branded a s * *
and yes, we should not give to receive
but oh how i grieve
that to help is to choose
sexist abuse
i want to follow jesus’ ways
but he did not have to contend with the f** male gaze

is it something in the water?
or the way they’re taught to win?
“if she tells you no, keep trying.”
as if love is a door
that needs to be kicked in.
even my father
with his anger
loud, burning, and red.
as well as my brothers
one who inherited my father’s anger
and the other
who thinks **** jokes are funny.
and the boys i grow to love
with gentle hands
and painful ignorance
they are all evil in some way.
not always with cruel intentions
but with neglectfulness.
in making promises like they’re disposable.
in the way they leave
without calling it leaving.
i used to think it was just my bad luck
how they are raised
how they are forgiven
or how they aren’t
how they are never told they’ve hurt someone
until she tells them.
until she weeps before their eyes.
and asks them what she did wrong.

i hate the way men look at me
jesus never had to deal with that

How can they say what MY nature is?
That what I was born with dictates my temperament.
I must nurture and endure the pain,
Allowing my body to be distorted and bloated,
All for some husband to have a mini-him,
And to add to my constant laboring.
Men socialized to treat a wife like a mother,
Coddled and fawned over by her,
Allowed to come back from work to a home cooked meal,
While their wife's endless work never ceases.

in the end of it
you are alone with it
and when the men stare at you
and ridicule you
their fingers pointing at your body

    you sit there and laugh
    your heart out
    i could
    take it out

        i chose to break the silence
        when no one had my back
        but the cold stone wall

           /stuck in headlights/

              your back to the wall
              to fight alone
              tonight is the night
              i end you

                 and no one understands
                 the depth of it
                 until they take my shoes
                 but they come to realize
                 they dont fit them

                    it ends tonight
                    with the morning light
                    a woman's grief
                    a fiery pit

I’ll discuss
The disgust I feel
When I see
Your ugly mug