The repair of my mind
is not as easy as it once was.
I am broken. Longing to be fixed. Longing to be able to heal myself. Working slowly day by day to heal another piece that has grown
gray with lack of light.
Fading to black I fear
Duct tape and super glue
Only holds the fragments
Of this mirror mind
Reflecting constant strain
Emotions
Pulled tugged stressed
Mentally damaged
Spider webbing to my heart
I can't take much more
I need an escape
A back door to these fractures
I endure falling
Trying to capture
Juggling before they shatter further
Gashes open up
My insides are slowly showing
Mental becomes physical
Only so much I can hide
Spotlighted to those who know me best
Foreshadowed to others who don't
This picture show of horror
Generating more fears
How do I ask for help
When it's becoming too much for me
Alone I thought I could handle this
Face my demons
I now know
I need a bigger monster
To keep me from being consumed
And if I'm still to fall
I won't have done it alone
I'll call it a victory
If someone could love me
In those final seconds

There are scars
under my skull
that often throbs,
and sometimes
they open up
and bleed
profusely

I drench and drown
in my own blood
from the wounds
of yesterday,
and suffocate
while sitting down
in my throne

they make me ill
and they fuel
my rage,
they are ghosts
that haunts me
from time
to time.

i've seen you    a   d
                       r       n
                         o  u
staring me d
                 o
                w
                n
talking ****  b e h i n d  my back
about  e v e r y t h i n g  i lack  
after all youve d o n e    
some might s   a   y youve w   o   n
                                    p        
even though i g a v e u

I’m not entirely sure on how to start,
Other than I have depression,
I feel like I’m falling apart...
This isn’t exactly how I wanted it to be,
But we don’t always get want we want,
I’m just trying to let you know, let you see.
I’m always shrugging my shoulders,
I can’t seem to really get used to it?
But I’m not getting any bolder.
It’s like drowning,
Chained to a rock, i’m Sinking.
I can’t stop, i’m Always thinking.
Crying out of nowhere is fun as well,
It makes me wanna give up my soul,
Literally feels like I’m living in hell.
I don’t ever really talk about it,
No one really... cares?
I don’t know how anyone feels about it...
I just sorta... sit in this silence.
Waiting for this weight to go away.
I don’t like it down here,
I don’t wanna stay.
But I gotta, because i’m Chained.
My mind is insane, constantly strained.
I just wanna go back into your arms,
Where I feel at home.
That way... I can feel some sort of comfort.
I know this is probably not the best poem to explain how I feel,
But it’s the best I could do, I finally broke the seal...