Stupid GPS doesn't have a clue.

Allaround me, an endless realm
                   But
In you I see me.

Between those two pages
of an abandoned book,
over my messed up table.
a moment is kept,
pious and complete.

A memoir of
younghood and innocence,
and emotions of being worthy,
with you.
It is safe within those pages.

A long journey
Since then, but
all passed, in a moment.
while we stayed awake.

May be some day,
it would be opened
to see and cherish.
what we had,
and what could have been hold.

Set me free
Let me be
Can’t you see
Everything you’ve done to me
Your words cut through
Making me so blue
Remembering every hit
And all of the words you’d spit
Your anger exploded
Your heart imploded
Throwing a fist
I felt I barely missed
It started with the wall
When things began to fall
Then it moved to your head
While you were crying in bed
Stop hitting
The world’s spinning
Set me free
Let me be
After all the things you’ve done to me?
How you could even expect it not to be
Bad
So Bad
Our love affair was not fair
More like a war
And oh it tore
Through my heart
You ripped apart
But love still swarmed
Because I believed you were still warm
Little did I know
It was just another show

I find myself stopping in a crowd of people and time slows still. Their laughter, their unpredictable movements, the fights and the resolutions and the bonding of brothers--all quiet. I am left in the fabric of things to wonder at the tapestry we call a culture.

How am I to know what is proper when all have their own true mothertongue? Who can teach me what to say when all I know is jumbled and disheveled based on who I've been and what I know?

I leave behind a southern legacy of liturgy and doctrine that outlines exactly what is human and exactly what is not. I step into a society that constantly years to fill a void--please Lord, find us someone who knows the Truth.  

Their apathy and nonchalance is false; bravado is left wanting. I know they they all cry out for connection and seek it in flesh rather than spirit. I am caught in the midst of the pursuit of happiness and the quest for morality. I know not what brings joy to humanity, I hike towards that river and hope it is not run dry like all others.

In the study of psychology, I have found so many places where words fall short and the great carnal animal within all of us takes precedence, demands attention, seeking comfort in a world that often overlooks those that need it the most.

Love is a fragile, timid thing that is most often hard to find and difficult to voice. Instead, we lash out in aggression to hide that inner child that needs a tried and true comfort of a known embrace. We seek forgiveness and express it in anger, manipulation, meeting our needs however possible because this is America, after all.

This is all we want in our sequestered human heart, the beginning of redemption.

Christened on billiard paper
Lo and fro, oh no
Love comes to the town again
And I am rendered spent
A recalcitrant pen begging,
"God knows when,
He'll hurt my beard, rest me deep under again"

Mother! Mother!
Hear my forlorn screams
They are inauthentic
They yearn to be redeemed

Father, you, sister!
Watch this cold hand
They were born spastic
Neutered with a brand

A brand that loves to burn alone
A brand that seethes, kiss the bone
Take me to a walk in your grove
I couldn't do anything in your cove
Just a lover's weary shove
Until you take me above
There, the night will reign with a shadow