Someday somewhere after the rain stops,
Under that giant tree, next to those coffee shops.
In a sunny land where the sun is gone,
Alone a moon, longs for the dawn.
Maybe the horizon will have gotten too small,
Maybe we won't meet in that dreamy autumn's fall.
Maybe I'll find you in the midst of snow,
And you won't be the same, but still I'll know,
Maybe you'll have different eyes,
Maybe you won't remember our warm goodbye's
Maybe moss is your favourite shade of green,
And in your brightest memories, I'm nowhere to be seen.
When I'm staring awake in a sleepless night,
When the lonely moon is my only light,
Maybe you are running around in eternal days.
Then how will I find you in the endless space?
Will the dandelions lead me astray?
From a bleak December to a warm pink May?
Also tell me, what if I become everything you hate?
What if you are tired of waiting and I'm just too late?
And what if I'm not the one you knew?
What if the heart I have isn't the one I gave you?
Tell me, tell me what will happen then?
All I know is, we'll meet again.

It was a rainy day. Black clouds float past and above
It was almost like she could just reach out,
And touch them from her apartment window.
They're so close. Just an arms length.
All she has to do is extend her arms.
But they can't be touched. Not like that. Not so easily.
Just how close they seem, yet they are forever out of touch.
Reach out to them, and they'll shift further.
Call out to them, and they'll run away.
It's a good day outside. She likes the rain.
Rain never felt sad to her. It felt like comfort.
The blank clouds above are like giant heavy blankets.
Wrapped around the whole world in a loving gesture,
Telling the world, they should all sleep today.
And dream of the years we have all left behind.
She has left behind a lot too. Who knows how much.
Happiness? Has it been left behind too?
She hasn't felt happy in quite a while.
Maybe it's just stress from work.
Maybe she just needs a change of pace.
Has she felt happy before?
Of course she has, hasn't she?
During those long days of summer?
Many many years ago from now.
There was no school, peace of summer break,
The taste of orange popsicle, in a park close to her home
Sitting alone and looking up at the clear sky.
It was a blue sky. Unlike the grey of today.
A lot of the stars that shined behind that sky,
Still shine under the black cover of today.
No one saw them then, no one will see them now.
So many things just get forever left unseen
Both under the bright white light, and the stone cold dark.
Just like the horrors that laid under the small little head,
Of a young girl, with a popsicle in her mouth.
She still doesn't remember most of them today.
That's good. It should remain that way.
Things that are hidden should stay hidden.
But what doesn't stay hidden are their effects.
The sun can keep the stars away for as long as the day is,
But they still stalk her back, right after dusk.
That's why she loves cloudy days.
Who cares if the darkness is gloomy?
At least it doesn't leave when the night falls.
It hides the stars. It hides a lot.
It makes the sky feel full. It makes her feel full.
Happiness? She doesn't want it. As long as she's not empty.
Was she ever happy? She doesn't know.
Was she happy playing with her dolls in her old childhood home?
Or when she dreamt of stories, while laying on her old bed?
But could she have been happy,
When she heard the monsters come?
Not the monster under her bed. She was friends with it already.
But not the monsters that surrounded that bed.
They all clawed at each other until everyone bled.
Their blood stained her pink carpet and shiny white walls.
She wasn't left out either. No.
They hurt her too. They scared her face with their long ****** nails.
Scars that she'll always have to hide.
They kept tearing each other apart, until all of them died.
All of them besides her. Only she survived.
She did. But her happiness didn't.
It left her forever, since that night.
It doesn't matter. She doesn't need it anyways.
What's the point of having a sun, if the night will always come back?
The clouds are a lot better. They hide everything. Even at night.

Hey! Sorry, am I bothering you?
No.. It's just.. it's all too new.
Anyways I just thought if you are still awake,
Just maybe then, now we could make-
Some memories, if you don't mind at all,
Would it be okay then, can I start the call?
Or maybe not, you know what? I'll just write,
And keep writing till I pass the night,
You can stop reading, whenever you are too tired to read,
Wait let me quickly say the things, I really need,
I have never said "thanks" to you,
And I love…. Well it's nothing new.
Ah never mind, what I wanted to say-
Will you ever forget it? You know.. "that" day?
Ah, forget it. Am I being stupid again?
But I remember you said, you'd make me forget that pain
Hah that was a dumb promise, won't you agree?
You can break it if you want, you don't have to see-
What I'm doing alone, far away from all,
Why don't you run away? Then you won't see the fall.
It's stupid, you know? Just..  trying to be deep
Also, aren't you tired of reading? Why don't you go to sleep?
As for me? I'll stay a bit longer, not sure why,
Have you ever laughed out loud, when you tried to cry?
So I hope I might get it out, if I keep writing some more.
It hurts, you know? Somewhere deep inside my core.
I don't know why, but I don't hate it too, you know?
It's like the pain you feel, touching the year's first snow.
Am I making sense? hah probably not.
You did something to me, and tied my brain into a knot.
Also what do you think about darkness? Isn't it a thing you miss?
Does it make you feel lonely? Or maybe a bit of comfort and peace?
I don't know why, but it always reminds me of you.
When I look up, towards the sky dark blue
You know how it feels, when you are betrayed by the sun?
You feel small and ashamed, but you don't know what you've done?
But like a thunderstorm in a scorched summer day,
You are chilling breeze on an evening in May.
So I love you, just like how I love the night.
I wish I could be your moon, or maybe a broken streetlight.
What's the difference, yeah? In a grey dim eye?
L.E.D or sun, the moth is destined to die.
And I'll love to burn bright in your hand,
And feel the light, as I turn myself into sand.
Then blow it away, with a hand you've lend
And take me where, a golden hour may never end.
Anyways, I think it's time to stop, and send my cold regards.
So I'll end it here, with a dried up tear, and void full of unspoken words

Dawn Loves The Dusk

Why do you hold me close?
When I'm far away, far from you,
When my colours are absent in the morning dew,
When your mind is drifting in the soothing breeze,
And when you've found your own rightful peace,
You won't remember this storm struck night,
Would you stare into darkness when you've found your light?
The dawn shouldn't cry- for the dying moon,
And you will forget me, just as soon;
Yet you still hold my hands, yet you won't let go,
A summer bird, yearning for snow.

Why won't you let me fade?
When I found myself in this empty null,
Then why do you hurt when my face is dull?
Tell me what's the point of every fight you've fought?
When I'm nothing but just a forgotten thought?
Yet in your poem, you gave me a name,
But if I ruin the pages, who would you blame?
I was ready to leave, I had cut the rope,
Yet you stopped me at the harbour, with your bright eyes of hope.
I'm scared of those eyes, I'm scared of you,
I'm scared to wish that the sky will turn blue,

So why won't you let me leave?
I had melted myself in the deep dark space,
Yet you took me in your warm embrace.
A place you said where I belong,
But I'm so afraid that it won't last long
I was nothing but just lingering past,
Just a blurry memory, some crumbling dust,
I was my own haunted dream,
Seeing myself would make me scream.
Yet you gave me something that I'm scared to lose,
But the void calls and I'm scared to choose.

So why can't you just let me go?
Why did you ever teach me love?
You brought me peace like a midday dove,
But like a raven I might fly towards the door.
The past calls, "nevermore".
But just for you, I just can't run away,
Despite the sweet words the void has to say.
You knew I was broken, fallen apart,
Where did you come from, and hold me in your heart?
Can you look at me, and can you please just say,
You promise nothing can take you away?

It began in just a normal year, only two decades too late,
And it ended before it got to start, it must've been fate
And I know, how you'd like to feel when you walk hastily down the street
Look both sides, up and down as you tremble in your feet
We both hated this world, with the heart we claimed to lack,
That's the only thing that didn't change, as we went to turn our back
We both got what we wanted, it just happened to be none
So why doubt myself, I've done what I've done.
I could never really feel what they’d like to call as pain,
Light and dark, oh ***** all that, I could only see chains.
So I write to you, you know not because I'm sad,
Or happy for that matter, unless I have gone mad.
I don't write either, because I miss the thought of you
Why I write to you, my dear, oh only if I knew
Still tell me how much time it takes for your, one day to pass?
In the clouds what shapes you see, as you lay alone in the grass?
How many times have you quit smoking, since we last spoke?
And how many meals are left in you, before you’ll get broke?
Did you finish the novel you wished to write since you were fifteen?
Or do you still space out, whenever you stare deep into your screen?
Do you still wake up late at night, yelling in your dreams?
Answering the wretched questions you heard in your father's screams.
Do you still need me to comfort you, and tell you, he was wrong,
And replace all his silence with my cheap makeshift songs.
As for me, if you care to ask, it is going exactly how you'd think.
I stopped evolving long ago, existing in just the missing link
Between a man, and what you may call, a tattered lost ghost.
3 A.M, closed window and the smell of burning toast.
As coherent as I try to be, I still remain who I am
A broken car on an empty road, stuck in a traffic jam.
Yes I still blame myself, for the faults of the outside world,
As I stare blankly at the night, with my hair in a slight twirl,
And I still have allergies of anything slightly from the past,
I don't look both ways when crossing the road, and I walk a bit too fast
So what else, did I not have to say? i said nothing with all these lines,
Like a dead star, from far away, which for you still somehow shines.
So let me say sorry at first, for everything you don't feel,
When we meet in our next life, I’ll be owing you a meal
Until then, I'll just be a shadow on your wall, 3 past midnight
When the only light in your room is from a broken streetlight.

They ask,
How can I live?

And say,
They could not.

I laugh
and they laugh along.

Some days after,
They ask again,
How can I survive?

And say,
They wouldn't be able to.

I laugh again,
So they laugh along.

Now I ask myself,
How cursed am I?
& I let myself
Cry.

And when they ask again,
I just smile.

Take me to the movies
Tell me something you mean
Give me something I can cry about
Give me something I can feel

I've been miserable
My heart's been impaired
My mind's enraged
As if I would break

But these tears
It won't come out
Because I'm afraid
Please, let me cry

she has my voice,
only sweeter;
she has my notions,
only purer;
she has my pride,
only gentler;

she knows i’m hurt,
only better.

she means well;
is it… only a spell?
she breathes a song;
only, i cannot tell —
if she yearns for me,
or only mourns for me.

to me, it don't seem;
but i know —
she's only a dream.