It's like I know
I'm a mess
I know I'm full of stress
I'm depressed
I'm a total wreck

I know it hurts my health
I know it kills my cells
I know I live in hell
But

Without it
Who would I be?
Without it
What would I see
Without it
I can't believe
In me

I've learned to live
Without calm bliss
I've learned to kiss
Every scar
Every war
My mind
Plays

I have to stay
I cannot stray
I'm too afraid
On a deeper level
Then what ifs
And what nots
It seems like it's a lot

To lose
To choose
What to do

I've learned to love me
Even tho I hate me
I've learned to live
Like this
I make my art
I play my part
I'm afraid to change
After 26 years
To become someone else
Is a huge fear
I just learned
To love this girl
With this choice
It could change my world
Change it all
What if I fall
What if I'm mean
What if I'm not clean
What if I'm boring
What if I'm snoring
What if
What if
I'm not me
The pieces I love
The things I hold above
What if they leave
Like everyone else
What if I can't believe
In the father above
What if I'm gone

Tell me
If I choose this
What if???

Searching for something
that stars with “S”
and ends in “tonin”
to heal my thoughts.

Just hand me a cigarette
I already have cancer
of the soul

Searching for something
that starts with “Oxy”
and ends in “tocin”
I drain the ocean
from me
as it drains from you

Just prescribe me
the ******* Prozac
I’ll never feel pleasure
ever again, anyways

Is there a cure for dry mouth?

Cornflower blue covered capsules
They turn the axles now
I know that you’d be scared too
If you surfed a furrowed brow

I could love the rain more if
I wasn’t made of wooden bones
And I would love me more if
I didn’t have such a fragile soul

sully the mental stationary
process the progress
slurry