deprived of a higher purpose

a reason for my meaningless existence

journey of discovery

a break from the mundane

repetitive nature of self-isolation

alone but never lonely

not until she crossed my mind for a final time

and so I awake each afternoon

dreading the coming hours

of mediocre party tricks

all in an effort to waste passing time

ironically the commodity

that everyone runs out of

When all is lost and all is dreary,
When fate is gone and you must go on,
When you go on without a light,
When you fight through the worst of night,
Du bist der übermensch.
When you beat the hopelessness and decay,
Du bist der übermensch.
When you fight a world meaningless,
Du bist der übermensch.
When you create meaning from naught,
Du bist der übermensch

Another night
i lay to rest
With all these words
But what a test

Find the meaning
say what’s best
But sometimes it’s  
just saying less

I lay still as if I were a breathing corps.
My heartbeat reminds me I still live.
My mind wanders aimlessly;
It drifts in and out of the borders of valid conception,
and withers to its content.

Am I alive,
or waking from a prolonged dream?
These thoughts contradict my understanding of this world.
They break the grips of my reality,
and plunge me into the unknown.

Although the notion tinges a world of fear.
My perspective shifts;
My consciousnesses fades away
and is vibrantly replaced
by a wave of blissful euphoria.

This is a strange existence.
Time is irregular;
It means nothing here.
Days seem like seconds;
minutes seem like weeks.

O' to what a mishap,
a folly happenstance,
a fringe to conventionality.
To who or what pleasure
do I owe?

Part of me wishes to leave this place.
Albeit a part wishes to remain.
I am in love with this realm,
yet I know there is somewhere else
that I must be.

So now I set sail
to find the world that I came from;
with a pleasant gift from the one I left.
                   I look upon an old existence,
                                             with new eyes.

the words
i put out
can't be said
out loud
but
would they even
make sense
to you..
would they?
if i were
to write
something
about you..
would you
even know
that the words
mean more than
just meaningless
sentences on a page..
would you even try
to figure it all out..
or would you say
nice things
just to say them
cause you wouldn't
actually understand
these words
that i put out
for you..

would you?

I created a world,
but all I can see is words.
Never feelings, never emotions.
Just words.
And it hurts because all I can say is just non meaningful words.