You would think I’d learn my lesson on how I make you feel..
You would think I’d give you the space you need
You would  think id take this real.
You would think I’d hear you the first time
When you said I would never be replaced.
But as it appears right now
I think I am such a disgrace.
You would think I’d think more about how what I say makes you feel.
Obviously, I’m not very smart.
I don't seem to pick up on hints; it's not one of my strengths.
But it seems I am now someone you might soon forget.
I can’t believe I’ve made you back away from me
I feel the space between us is too hard to bare
I feel like im losing my best friend
And it’s all my fault, but its not fair.
I apologize for all my aggravating  obsessive charades.
I truly always wish you the best in everything you do.
I never wish you any harm
How could I stand to see my best friend be so numb.
The thought of you alone really makes me sick
I wish I wasn’t such a nuisance, and you would let me back in
Please don’t block me out. Please let me be your friend.
I promise to be there for you, as I said before.
I pray to God above for what is troubling you,
whether it’s me or something else.
I pray for the smothering feeling to be soon released.
Please don’t close the door on us;
I promise I'll let you breathe. I just need you to answer and tell me to stop.
I need you to set some boundaries for me not to cross.
I'm comfortable with you. That's why I talk so much.
But I hate feeling like im nagging and hanging on you like your my crutch
Please don’t give up on me.

I’m always forgotten because I’m never known.
They see me and my concept,
what they believe it is,
but they do not take the time to know me,
my insides and fillings,
my laughs and tears,
my thoughts and words.
I’m always forgotten because they never care enough to notice my light,
or my lack of one.
Superficial gifts and smiles
all at once in one Christmas night.
I’m always forgotten in their brains,
like tasks that no one wants to do,
a person no one wants to know.

Closer to new years now.
I’m always forgotten over the summer.
I exist,
lax and blurry,
because they don’t remember me if they don’t see me.
Every person creates a different image,
except no one actually knows me.
They just see.
They watch.
They imagine.
And they create.
Me,
in their brains.
But its not me anymore,
because a me doesn’t exist in anyone’s mind.
Not even mine.

Sometimes you
Decide to
Have a really big meal
Then proceed
To not eat
For the next eight
Hours right?
It's not that you can't wait
But the faintest smell
Of food might
As well
Knock you out.
It isn't about
Being physically
Full, correct me
If I'm wrong
But going too long
Without anything
Would bring
About the strongest's doom.
(No, food here
Is not the elephant in the room.)

Do
You
Really
Love me?
It’s probably
A me
Problem
But why
Can’t I
See it? Why
Don’t I
Feel cared for
When I text you anymore?
Maybe you
Used to;
Maybe you did
But what got rid
Of those feelings?
Because every time
I’m
Dealing
With you and your
Issues I pour
My heart and soul into
Helping you
But I’ve just
Never been checked on
Without me breaking first.
Always been looked upon
As support for you to lean
Against but that just means
I’ve always carried your weight;
Forever stuck in a stalemate;
Not yet dead
But nowhere to run instead.
Can you tell
How much I love you
And how much I wish you
Loved me too?

It's 3:43am and I'm wondering if the spider in the corner of my bathroom is dreaming
I wonder if she knows about the sun and if she ever dreams of weaving a web in the moonlight
I wonder if she knows what I'm saying when I tell her "don't worry, i'll keep you safe" and I wonder if she believes me

Sorrow stifles me
Like a song that doesn’t resonate in my heart.

Like a dream that remains unfulfilled,
Like the sun that does not warm me.