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olivia Jun 2017
I didn't even have shoes on
when they yanked me from my
inner world
and out into the Chicago cold
barefoot in the middle of the street
soon to be swaddled in a hospital gown
like Jesus
better yet:
William Shakespeare
bipolardisorder recoveryrecordings
Rachel Sterling Oct 2015
I live to see you look at me like I'm the most beautiful creature you've ever laid eyes on.
You brush my hair behind my ear gently and run your fingers along my cheek.
"You have the most beautiful ears.
Ears are such a strange thing to love about a person, but I do love them.
I love your ears. Little, delicate pixie ears.
My tiny manic pixie dream girl."
I live to hear that I'm yours.
I live to hear you say anything really
Essen Dossev Mar 2017
Piecing together a story with timestamps
from letters you published, and
clues raining down like hammers,
(which is to say, at first dangerous, and then
amnesia-inducing, leaving me certain
I was delirious all along)

you asked me “what kind of person are you?”
and I hesitantly shrugged,
“whatever kind you need me to be, if only
I can.” If only
I can.

I can be a mirror,
a reflection,
a deflection,
a misdirection,
an inter-introspection
asking only what has already
been asked before, rapid-fire
and firing faster, until it shatters
like
“what kind of person are you?”
and
“what do you see when you look at me?”
and
"how can you see what's looking at you,
if you didn't first know to look to see?”
and
"what if we run out of things to say
or questions to ask?”
and
“how many bites does it take
to get to the centre of a person?”
and
"if I promise there's no venom in my fangs
could I bite into you?”
and
I wonder what you taste like.
hyun Mar 2017
huh
You see,
in a world of
dos and don'ts,
you're the only reason
I need
to conquer anything.

Cigarettes are a close second.
Theresa Marie Mar 2017
when you have nothing to be sad about
nothing to complain
just the unexplained emptiness
broken up sentences
fogged head
tight chest

they took away my razors
and now they watch me like a hawk
instead tonight maybe i'll touch myself
maybe ill pretend it's you
a feeling worse then sliced skin

the tinged sadness of faded scars
wars ended on bad terms with
no final conclusion
just itchy wrists
diving headfirst into grey
submerged in a numbness
finally a creeping smile across a blank face
perhaps a blessing and a curse to feel everything so deeply
why do i gotta account for your feelings as well as my own
i almost never know what i'm feeling
Domi Mróz Feb 2017
take a look at the first thing next to you
now imagine it but a hundred times brighter (all the time)
if life is a glass of water sometimes i wake up and it's filled with caffeine instead
to keep me running faster than i want it to
there always has been a spark in my eyes that wasn't natural
no one's quite sure where it's from but i used to think it was a superpower
i used to think not sleeping for days was a superpower too
it can be scary if you feel like a puppet that's forced to kick and hurt and attack
it can be scary if you can't make yourself stop
it can be scary if fun isn't fun anymore but danger
it can be scary when you're fragile
it's like a bubble in which there are no boundaries
the world has no boundaries there's only me and my ideas
and i seem to be way better than i'm supposed to
how can you stop when there's so much left to do?
(even if afterwards it won't be)
the world is bright and colorful now but it can go back to greys anytime
it won't go to neutral colors (it never does)
you can't shut it down if the "it" is you, if the "it" is what you're up against
if the "it" is constanly challenging you to go faster better faster faster faster
"it" is so fragile if you stop it for a moment there may be no coming back
there are so many fun things intense things death can be just one of them if you don't control "it" soon enough

when caitlin snow first got her powers in flashpoint she had to stop them
i always had a superpower and it will always have to be stopped

take a look at yourself in the mirror
now imagine yourself but a hundred times brighter (all the time)
if i'm a good person sometimes i wake up and i'm a goddess instead
(what can i be if not godlike if it feels like there's nothing that could possibly stop me?)
there's always been times when i felt like i left my old self to come back stronger and happier
i don't know if there's a happy because every single time i felt truly happy it was an illusion that doctors called "a chemical imbalance"
if i can dress up and be a new me who can dress like this who can do this
but if you'd stopped me i could be angry
(i don't know an angry me, i always forget her)
so i have a calm kind of angry-an angry where no one and nothing else can be touched or hurt but i can
when i was confused about sexuality websites were calling it "hypersexuality"
it can only be a superpower if i see lights and flashes others don't
it can only be a superpower if people i'm in love with have a halo over them
it can only be a superpower if i seem to stop the cars around me when i run through the street
if someone whispered "high risk, too impulsive" i thought fun and passion
the thoughts going through my mind always seem amazing
and i wonder if the people who've written the bible felt like this
if they did, i'm happy for them
i can never forgive myself for things i've done
(not sins, i'm too envious of people who are faithful)
but i guess it's not, not if there's a spark in my eye that can disappear, only on certain conditions

one of the last things on the wikipedia page for bipolar disorder
are the suicide statistics
yeah hi, i suffer from bipolar and it really ***** so yeah, enjoy
Nora Jan 2017
Crazy ***** laughing bitter tears and
crying cruel laughter, curling like
a millipede thrown to the ground,
fragile, writhing creature of pity
reduced to sobs and shame as
one hand trembles toward the screen

skin meets glass, she punches, hard,
but the barrier absorbs her woes and
holds its rigid ground. No,
she can’t be touched,  cannot touch,
They won’t let her -- she screams. muffled
white noise to the world, no one hears,
who would care? bells ring and crash in a pounding
skull, she contemplates smearing her brain
across the glass but her neck is locked in place
poor puny marionette left to hang without a will
in a world of which she can’t be a part
Violet Rose Jan 2017
With the moon I change night in and out continuously through cycles of light and darkness, through tides high and low. I alternate between every shade in between but never purely black or white. I am flawed, and I am god. I am hidden, but I radiate.
January 30th, 2017 - 14:05
Violet Rose Jan 2017
I am melancholic like the colors of the sun's last kiss in the sky.
I am manic like the moon's oceanic replies.
January 31st, 2017 - 14:12
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