you don't get to tell me that you love me and pick and choose which parts you want to love, and then simply leave me when you come across a part that you don't want

the air was stale with cigarette smoke
there was beer on your breath, like always it is
i gave myself away to embrace you as tight as i could
told you,
that not once these last few days did the thought ever cross my mind that i did not love you

it is three thirty in the morning as i walk and write this
still straying thoughts only to you
wherever you are at this minute
and i wish that i could be there, a part of those minutes

i thought of how you used to walk me back home everyday from your place
because you wanted to spend every second that you could with me before i had to leave
i thought of how you would lay in my bed while i was showering, and trying to not let me dress as i smiled and swatted you away
i thought of how my mother was happy for me, that i had found somebody
now you're not allowed five feet within our building
i told you when we met that we were going to have a good summer, and i meant it
and we did, though amidst the sunshine there was some rain, yet we stayed, we stayed, because love always reigned
now i'm sitting outside in the dark, missing your lips and the way you held my body
how you are a fifteen minute walk away that i am no longer allowed to take
how the summer died and so did your love for me, though my love for you is still as warm as the summer sun
how badly i wanted to be laying in your bed still in the upcoming cold months
but now i am no longer welcome, and you only want your blankets or a new body to hold
while i lay dead cold and alone, reminiscing that we were good, yet you chose doubt over love, and let the bad times overshadow the good times once and for all

But you say "I love you" to every girl you meet
And that really isn't love,
Just because you are lonely
And what's sad about that is -
You'll never really feel "love"
Because she leaves or you leave
And you're back on the desperate hunt for a new
"I love you"
And this cycle repeats
Love doesn't die when a person walks away
Love is a stitch in the chest that remains
It can't quite ever go away
And I think you know this, but -
You are too scared to be alone
Too scared to live without a love
So jump and jump from this love to that one
I think you are scared because you know
That you can't ever love yourself

wherever you are, you aren't here
where you may be, i can't count on disappearing
because i need to start new, and go to you
are you waiting for me
as i am waiting for you?

By Arcassin Burnham


Butterflies and lakes,
Carry signals in and out
into the love gate,
If you're saying that I know her situation
i could probably relate,
Not wanting to do this all the time
But it cannot be replace,
I swear I love her
but she's just thinking that me and him are in a race,
I beat him to the punch and now I'm glad I'm in first place,


She is my dream to see the things that are right in front
Of me,
Don't think for one second I don't know about intimacy,
shes the girl for me in this life of death and luxury,
I made a promise to her long ago that we would be,

shes my history like no other in my dreams,
I take a short breath of the wrong air in this time,
take my hand and we'll run to the stream,
She said she use to be alright in my first line,

like bella and edward , we shine in the lights and sparkle
As if glistening was our middle names
fantasy teens,
kissin in the lake
is it still a dream?

Is she really still someone elses girl?
this i can't redeem.

You were afraid
Of falling.

Falling for people
That gave you no ground
for landing;
Unreachable heights that
Hands can't grasp,
All that is left is an
Emotional mess -

Because love is a dangerous flight.
And settling for risks,
Isn't your choice of fun.

You said to keep my eyes on you,
but I was busy memorizing
the way your cadence rose and fell
and how each syllable
altered the contours of your face;
and you revived everything around you...

I'm not a person for promises,
or seeds sown out of spite, but there is something so fascinating about you-

how you glide and breathe
so effortlessly by me

and I think that maybe, you could be my sun
if circumstances
and solar systems
allow

I haven't cried in weeks.

I'm not sure if I remember how.

The desire swells at the back of my throat,
the muscles constrict and burn, but when the blade is just inches
from plunging through my neck, I stop

and pour another glass of wine