I'm being consumed
Can't breathe
I need to be alone
But scared to be lonely
What irony
I want peace; all I give is chaos
Such pathos
I want to be held
And I need to hold
But at the moment
I'm standing on my own Ten toes
My lies disguise my truth
Maybe to protect you or
Maybe to hide me,
I don't know this feeling
Such euphoria and loathsome...
Why  won't a mirror cast my reflection.

They speak to the madman,
Suppression, subversion, detraction,
A vocabulary of ‘less than’.

They speak to the madman,
To the loveless and the wounded,
The self-doubting ego.

They speak to the madman,
A consort of shadows,
Recurrent with paradox.

Until...uncertain as to the integrity of my own thoughts,
Understudied by self-censure and distrust,
I pause to listen in silence to the silence which listens back.

A gust of wind
blows a lone leaf.
Without its roots
it solemnly flies;
Finding nurishment
in these new lands.
Tis a bitter sweet sentiment
for the wind
shall soon return
wisking away
the lonely leaf
and sharing it
with the world.

Every new place
brings new blessings.
A temporary warmth
that sooths
the soul.
It finds companions;
Yet truly
owns no home.
The moments are fleet
as a single heartbeat.
Another gust,
and again,
it flys alone.

Surely,
the lonesome leaf
shall one day sleep
beneath the trees,
Taking root
in a loving place
for it to keep;
Shrouded
by the stars.
Untill the day
it makes its way,
Forever
Wayward.

Sometimes I remember just how my heart did feel,
and it reminds me how, love used to be something real.
Back in the days my heart and mind were still young.
When I could hope and dream of sharing love with someone.

It seems so long ago and oh so far away.
Years ago before I came to despise each day.
Back in the days my heart and mind were still young.
When I could hope and dream of sharing love with someone.

So many lonely hours trying to find out what went wrong.
When did I become deaf and to afraid of life's sweetest song?
Wish I could go back when my heart and mind were still young.
When I could hope and dream of sharing love with someone.

Life is an empty thing without a love to share.
And a future is nothing without someone to care.
Wish I could go back when my heart and mind were still young.
When I could hope and dream of sharing love with someone.

Once I had a dream that I would know loves embrace.
And love would take us to our own special place.
But my mind and heart are no longer young.
And mind and time tell me there will be no one.

It is not as sad to die alone.... (relief, escape, freedom, end)
As it is to live alone and die the slow lonely death of never giving the love you wish to share and feel.
It is a sadness that only the bearer can know for the witnesses only ever saw loneliness' outer shell if they even noticed at all.

You say she's cold, but what does that mean?

Is she as cold as the breeze rubbing against your skin making you regret not putting on that hoody you detest.

Or is she the cold found on the other side of your pillow on a hot summers night.

You see, sometimes you need someone "cold" in your life when your just too damaged to handle the warmth that comes with real love...

Everyone I ever loved never loved me back or loved me too late. Everyone I ever loved only loved to wait.
Fate.
Fire.
Faith, I’m lost and found. Waiting to be claimed from beneath the ground. I want a love that you can’t satiate.
I want a soulmate.