What is it i want
To be a silent lake whilst the swans dance
To be a tree dancing to the sound of the wind whistling
To forever rot in my bed till my inevitable demise
No
What i truly want
Is to be dead
To be rid of this awful existence where my future has already been written by those before me
No
I just wish to never wake up from my sleep
Like a bear in hibernation

Always glistened under the rays of the sun,
The warmth on the leaves always reflected to your surroundings,
Head in the clouds,
So try and explain
How have you managed to make it so far down here?
Once the greenest leaves,
Now all turned to a dark brown
When did you stop caring?
When did you become this sickening thing?
When did you lose your way?
This is all your own doing,
You dark, oak tree.

Mirror mirror
On the wall,
Who’s the most shattered
of them all?
Aligned with the cracked glass,
I feel broken.
Each scar of self-harm
Leads to a line of tokens—
Every scratch and crack in the mirror
Is a symbol of self hate
that plagues my heart.
Soon to fall apart
And rot in the mirror…

Mirror mirror
On the wall,
Who’s the most fallen of them all?
Hidden and forgotten
in the dust of cobwebs
In your attic.
I ask for help,
But aligned with the smashed glass,
I feel stolen and trapped
Under the illusion of no hope—
Bruised and abused.
Left in confusion,
Losing people like flies,
Leaving shattered moments
in pieces scattered across the floor,
Only then I feel heartbroken.

Mirror mirror
On the wall,
What have I done wrong
To become aligned with
This broken mirror?

He strolled along the fractured pathway
The wind stormed in his fright
His right thumb over his left index
His mind busy for the night

Leaves of red blew in a hurry
The grass appeared red too
He fiddled with his over coat
As the restless wind blew

All the world felt icy cold
All the world looked painted red
All the world slammed their doors
And released his fear instead

He fought to keep his balance
But the universe was too much
He fell onto his bruised up knees
His legs buckled with a crunch

He kept up with the struggle
He fought through the racing tide
His mind battled through the jungle
However his body was inside

He never realized what was broken
Not the pathway or his strife
So he fought hard for a moment
But then he grabbed his knife

new mornings
new days
new nights

without you
forever

It feels all too familiar,
this emptiness in my chest,
No, no, no-not again,
please let my heart rest.

I fought so hard,
to leave that dark hole,
now I'm falling back in-
how do I save my soul?

I can't do this again,
I'm so scared.
I can't go back...
I almost died there.

October 21, 2008
My birthday
As a kid I was always so excited
I had a list of everything
That I desired for my special day
But now I'm turning sixteen
I don't know what I want
I don't know who I am
And for the first time
I could care less if my birthday came
Or if it just passed me by
Like everyone else in this cruel world
I feel lost
Broken
I want to go back
To when things were simpler
I just want to be a kid again