A warm hand caressing mine.
A smile so sweet.
A deeper meaning with the passing time.
So full of life, so up-beat.
And all the while, I know it's in the distance.

A relationship of some wonderful kind.
A wonderful guy with a wonderful mind.
And all the while, I know he's in the distance.

But miles mean little
when we're as close as we are.
Because although you're far,
you're so close to my heart, from a distance.

I got a small taste of what it's like to live with you.
Not much I know but hey, it was great while it lasted right?

Few brief days we shared as proof that love despite distance is true.
How many months have we been proving others wrong?

One day I think we'll be together indefinitely no matter what we do.
Oh how I can't wait for that day, will everything be perfect then?

*I truly believe

A kiss
and a cry
shouts of joy,
a tremulous sigh
soldiers come back
from faraway lands
reunited couples,
entwining hands
parents with balloons
and outstretched arms
children returning with groups,
safe from harm
myriad languages
bouncing off the walls
echoes of longing,
tears that fall
Airports are centers
of piquant emotion
and I sit, waiting for you
in excited devotion
thinking of how
you raised me,
on your side, alone
how oceans divide us
except for the phone
how we fight to keep
our connection alive
how your grandchildren
and I
are your source of pride
And so, mother of mine,
my hug waits in these arms
to burst forth to you
as you step off the storm
of longing and missing
into our calm and light
our renewed closeness
and bond
about to
take flight

people say out of sight, out of mind and i used to think this was true until i met you. out of sight, but never out of mind, for absence makes the heart grow fonder. he said you never know what is enough, until you know what is more than enough, ive known from the start that you were more than enough, but enough none the less. if in each forward step we take we leave some phantom of ourselves behind then id gladly take another step towards you for the me without you is not a me id like to be and id happily leave that me behind, and if weak eyes are fondest of glittering objects, then i see now why i am so in love with you, for you shine so brightly. if its true that the tighter you squeeze, the less you have, then ill hold you lightly, but even more so.

It's 3 in the morning and my feet are cold.
They've managed to slip out from under the blankets and so my first instinct is to turn and hold you,
using you for mutual warmth.
But I turn and you're not there.

It's 6 in the morning and I wake up with tears rolling down my cheeks.
You've found some new girl and decided to leave- no, it was just a dream, and so my first instinct is to turn and hold you, reminding myself that you are still with me.
But I turn and you're not there.

It's 7 in the morning and my alarm goes off, my eyes blinking open.
I yawn and my first instinct is to turn and hold you, kiss your cheek and say good morning, expecting a mumble in response.
But I turn and you're not there.

You're my first instinct,
every moment of the day, I think about you,
every hour of the day, I wish to be with you.
I'll always want to turn over and see you lying next to me
But I know sometimes you can't be...

Last October I was home with you
Lately Im doing my best building a home without you
At home I keep an empty chair for you
In our closet there's hangers left vaccant for you  
Memories is how I will keep you
Even in old age I wanna seek you
With your past I will always love you
No slack can take back loyalty I learn from you
This is how Im home with you
Even in your absence I wont let go of you

Truu

It's not fair that you only have to spend the morning without me
for I'm trapped in the night
darkness deafening me as I tell myself over and over that this is real
that midnight is only an hour
that I'll be home soon
and I never feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be
transporting myself place to place
continent hopping like a heart murmur
my soul is five hours behind
and when you sleep my whole being longs for your voice
glasses half empty stacked beside me
I remember a time when my hair danced at my hips
when the moon would be full and heat lightning blinded me
constantly praying to a god I didn't believe in that I could fall asleep
but dreams didn't come
and that summer lasted but eight days
when I can feel your heartbeat you are fire
but now that I'm so far away your voice is tired
your laugh is like a wind chime on a day when the air doesn't speak
milk moons have a habit of forcing me to reread your words
making me realize I now posess curses I never thought I'd have to endure
like how when I touch you I am not the girl my father raised
like how when you push me into the wall I hope your mother doesn't weep

We all have promises we wish we never made
I wish I didn't tie myself to you with silk
knotting each of my heartstrings around your fingers
I'm like your puppet
and it's wrenching because I had always been so brimmed with pride
conceived by my parents notion that I'd be doomed to wander alone
or blessed
if you choose to look at my freedom like it's that of a gift
but I don't want it anymore
I refuse to chain myself to my past
my frosted veins melting in your palms
I am not who I thought I was
I am not the lady my matriarch once bore that hot morning
a head full of curls and irises that told two different tales

I'm so lucky that the trees bend north tonight
I contribute secrets as clouds to the noir
unkept stands of chestnut trying to escape
but I don't blame them
and ink is all around me as I further my vices
counting down to paradise as I move a little too quickly from my bed
the other part of me wonders if I go visit him at this time
and I grin at that notion she thinks that's what I want from this hour
there are moments I forget to miss you
guild soaked as I remember love
I wouldn't call this bliss
it doesn't even scrape at happiness
it's emptiness
but not the way I've experienced before
I don't have words for this new feeling
not yet at least
I'll let anything in as an attempt to starve out this self doubt
but no whisper is as warm as your breath
because with you you don't even need to comfort me with diction
instead I swallow your glances like honey
I hope you know this mindset will never evolve
and if it does it is only to grow stronger

Some hearts change with the seasons
mine used to change at every chime of a clock
I'm stagnant now
laying calmly in the eye of the storm
the light hitting my skin the only thing changing each hour

Soon this will be over
No longer damning every firefly and its nerve to glow without purpose
Soon I'll be at your mercy again
Purple thighed and alive
Because right now without you I've never felt so alone
Eyelids like blankets
Terrified of what dreams could await my unconscious soul
But in the deepest hollows of my chest I hear your voice calming me
Saying what you always say when you hear my heart rate jump
"Let me sing you that song about the stars I know you love"