baby you should know I cry better when I’m alone –
and I don’t really like to have to long conversations on the phone,
if it means I don’t see you by tomorrow, and try to hold you close…

but maybe I’m just so good at being alone –
that any time I’m banking on potential love, it’s just a loan

living so low – the hopeless romantic,
and their romantic feelings sitting solo… even when
I’m fearful of love, it’s much scarier being so in love,
but in love all alone
               no one really wants to be alone

Feelings of loneliness coming to tears
I disappear, you disappear

Feelings of loneliness coming to tears
I disappear, you disappear

Feelings of loneliness coming to tears
I disappear, you disappear...

My ears point toward the moon.
My nose points toward Polaris.
My tail points toward tracks that extend out of sight and out of memory.

I am alone.
I hear owls and falling snow.
I trek endlessly through wilderness that leads to nowhere.

I hear faint sounds.
I see pale light.
I feel the penetrating cold.

In a great tree I find a long abandoned hole.
Inside I hope to find refuge.
I curl up; breathe; sleep.

I dream of friends I have yet to meet.
In my solitary den.

The night feels cold once more-
A blizzard through the mist,
Freezing every lonely soul.

I’m here,
A victim of the dark,
Shivering under my blankets,
With my eyes fixated above-
A never-ending darkness
Filled with shining stars,
A guiding light to something bigger,
And that is you-
Reflective light shining above me.

No matter how bright you shine,
Your beauty is seen but untouchable-
A fish in the deep black,
Nearly impossible to catch.

Still laying here,
Shivering under my blankets.
Music in my head,
my only companion-
A fireplace in the middle of this forest of devastation,
A place where shadows lure me out of comfort

Following me with a familiar tune,
something like this:
“Such a lonely night,
And it’s mine
It’s a night
I’m glad I survived.”

Witnessing the change of nature now,
We will soon meet again,
O Queen of the darkness-
Torture of us outcasts,

When will the night
Feel warm again?
For the answer,
I’ll wait.

they say,
you can’t have this body
and this sickness.

but they don’t hear
the screaming silence,
don’t see
the empty plates,
don’t feel
the shame that
swallows you whole.

to them,
you are just
too much.
to you,
you are never
enough.

i know this darkness.
it wraps around me
like an old sweater—
worn, frayed,
but familiar.

happiness knocks at my door
like a stranger with bright eyes,
offering sunlight,
offering warmth.

but sunlight burns.
and warmth fades.
and what if i can’t keep it?
what if it leaves
like everything else?

so i stay here,
in the shadows i’ve named home,
where sadness hums
a lullaby i’ve memorized.

because even pain
feels safer
than hope
that might shatter.

i love you like the sun loves the moon—
too far apart
to share the same sky.

you wanted stillness,
a life with roots.
i wanted movement,
a life with wings.

we tried to meet
in the middle,
but love
couldn’t bridge
the distance.

so i let you go,
not because i stopped loving you,
but because staying
meant losing
ourselves.

some love shines forever,
but ours was the kind
that had to end
to set us free.

Indebt to the armor below par,

    I soldered myself a new one.

           I was enamored with the illusion,

                      But...

                        ­         Alone in my reflection.

How many,
Many more parties.
Before the floor gives out,
From underneath my feet.
How many more suits,
And conversation pieces.
Before the weight of the jewels,
Drags me under earth.
I'm sick of waltzing,
My feet are tired.
Bring me back home,
I don't want to be here anymore.