Hannah and I
lie on the grass
by Arrol House

she shows me
a penknife
her father'd brought
home for her

a thin bladed one
with a white handle
it's in the palm
of her hand balancing

it looks good
I say

that's not what
Mum said when Dad
brought it home
Hannah says

what did she say?
I ask

Whit did ye brin'
'at haem fur?
she said

what did your
dad say?

nothing he pretended
he was deaf
and just gave me
the knife and went
and sat in his armchair
and read his newspaper

how do you understand
what your mum is saying?
I'm never sure
if she's being angry
with me or if
that's just her
being nice

probably the former
she's seldom
nice to people
Hannah says

she puts the knife
in the pocket
of her skirt
and says
where we going then?

we can stay here
if you like
I say
lying in the sun
and talking

o sure
and have my mum
peering out
the window at us
saying
whit ur ye tois
up tae?  

I fall back laughing
what's that mean?

it's what are you
two up to?
Hannah says
no let's go
through the Square
and get an ice lolly
and 1d drink
and look at
the cheap shop
on the New Kent Road

so we up and go
over the mental fence
and through the Square
and go buy
our ice lollies
and 1d drinks

and I wonder
as we walk
what her mother
says and thinks.

We're on a bomb site
behind the tabernacle
looking for some
ammunition for

my catapult
which I carry
in the back pocket
of my jeans

Fay is looking
amongst the debris
of old bombed
out houses

or just area  
left where
houses stood
it's a sunny day

holiday time
no school
-makes me happier-
is this one too big?

she asks
I look over
no that's a good one
I say

she brings it over
to where I stand
she holds it
between her

thin finger and thumb
and she drops it
into my palm
I weigh it up

and down then
drop it into
my pouch
-a knotted handkerchief-

she looks at me
her blue eyes
searching me
her fair hair

brought behind
her head in
a ponytail
have you ever

thought about self?
I look at her
self?
I say

what do you mean?
the I of us
what we call me
I look nonplus

and look down
for more small stones
a nun at school
said the I

in Christianity means
the I crossed out
in the form
of a cross

in other words
our self is not
more important
than that I or self

of another
and as a Christian
we should put
the self

of another first
I find a small stone
and pick it up
and finger it

so the cross is
supposed to show
self crossed out?
I say uncertainly

she looks at the stone
I'm holding
yes that's what
she was saying

self denial I think
is what she meant
Fay says
scratching her head

this nun at school
does she ever
tell jokes?
Fay frowns

no not as far
as I've heard
well I could
tell you one

O'Brien told me
but it's not for girls
to hear
not girls

as good as you
I say
Daddy says jokes
are sinful to say

and to hear Fay says
when I innocently
told him one
the other year

a girl at school told me
he spanked me
and said never
to hear or say jokes

ever again
what was the joke?
I ask
shouldn't say

she says
there's only you
and me here
no one will know

if you tell me
except God
and I guess He's
heard it before

I say
she looks at me
her blue eyes
staring

ok but don't
tell Daddy
I told you
she says

I promise not to tell
your old man
I say
well a man took his wife

to the cinema
and as they waited
in the queue
a man in front of them

passed wind
and the husband
said to the man
how dare you

pass wind
in front of my wife
and the man said
sorry I didn't know

it was her turn
I laugh and so does she
and I like how
her eyes sparkle

when she laughs
and her face lights up
like a summer day
then she's looks

at her hands
that was good
I say
but it's sinful

she says
but the brightness
in her face and eyes
didn't go away.

Ingrid hears
her mother's
cries and moans

in the night
flesh slamming
against flesh

she cringes
wondering
if she'll be

next in line
she is torn
by her fear

should she stay
just in case
her father

doesn't come
or should she
go and see

if her mum
is ok?
her room's dark

a slither
of light comes
from the moon

through curtains
a steam train
goes over

the steel bridge
just over
the roadway

she listens
for more moans
flesh on flesh

thump thump slap
she sits up
on the edge

of her bed
there are sounds
whimpering

then footsteps
in the hall
her father

shouting out
she cringes
she wishes

Benedict
was there now
she wishes

he could be
her young knight
in shining

armour on
his snow white
horse charger

but he's not
he's asleep
in a flat

down the stairs
she hears her
mother's moans

a door slams
then silence
she creeps back

into bed
carrying
Benedict

her young knight
in armour
in her head.

Enid's old man
gives me the stare
as we pass
on the stair

I know he's
whacked her
for sure
after the cinema date

and coming back late
but he says nothing
his the silent glare
as if he could scare

I walk on up
and he goes down
that cocky way
he has of

walking away
that Bogart stare
to my Elvis smile
at least for a while

I look down at him
from the balcony
as he crosses
the Square

and off out
of sight to
work or play
as any other day

I wait to be sure
he won't return
then go to Enid's door
and knock and wait

no one comes
all is quiet
no answer
to my knock

so I knock again
and her mother comes
and pokes her head
around the door

and says
what do you want?
how's Enid?
I ask

best go
or her father'll know
and give us
both another blow

I stand my ground
and give her a stare
where is she?
is she ok?

her mother sports
a blackened eye
he might return
she says

he's gone
I watched him go
I say
she sighs

and calls
ENID
and walks past me
to the balcony

and looks over
Enid comes to the door
red eyed
and a swollen lip

can you come out
and play?
I ask
her mother

walks back
to the door
and says
not today

now go away
I lean towards Enid
and kiss her cheek
and touch her hand

see you around Kid
I say
then her mother
closes the door

and reluctantly
I go away.

Janice was
by the pram
sheds when I

came along
she was flushed
and upset

what is up?
I asked her
I've just seen

a man in
Jail park who
showed me his

whatsit-called
as I walked
along by

the flower
bed and I
didn't know

what to do
Janice said
is he still

there? I asked
I don't know
she replied

let's go see
I told her
I'm not sure

I  want to
go back there
she replied

I'm with you
otherwise
you'll never

go back there
I replied
she was pale

and frightened
don't worry
I've seen his

type before
he'll soon run
when I come

and tell him
I'll cut off
his **** ****

Janice blushed
Benny that's
swearing

what would Gran
say if she
heard those words

Janice said
I won't tell
your grandma

if you don't
I tell her
now let's go

so she comes
with me though
the Square and

across Bath
Terrace and
into the Park

but the man
wasn't there
but he was

inside the
head of poor
Janice and

often dreamed
of him in
nightmares she

used to have
afterwards
she told me.

Helen walked
from her home
to the bomb

site where the
boy Benny
had told her

after school
he would be
off Meadow

Row behind
the old green
grocer's shop

but when she
got there he
was no where

in sight so
she was scared
-after all

tramps often
slept or hid
in the bombed

out buildings-
where was he?
she muttered

what to do?
she looked out
over the

large bomb site
biting her
finger nails

thinking that
maybe a
***** would jump

out at her
then she saw
a figure

come out of
one of the
bombed ruins

she stared hard
panicking
thinking she'd

wet herself
when Benny
waved his hand

and called out
you came then?
-he sometimes

stated the
obvious-
I wondered

where you were
she muttered
he tapped his

6 shooter
silvery
looking toy

gun in his
black holster
on his belt

looking out
for bad guys
he replied

she was glad
it was him
not a *****

want some chips?
he asked her
we can share

I've got coins
sufficient
although she'd

just had tea
she nodded
so they walked

to Neptune's
fish and chip
shop and bought

6d worth
and stood out
side the shop

and shared them
watching life
rushing by

both of them
beneath an
evening sky.

Hidden among
the London masses
Lies a goddess so young
who's beauty surpassed
That of the heavens

Skin like powdered snow,
Lips like Cupid's bow;
& with Curves bestowed.

She snaps the neck
Of Everyman that
Passes forth

Outside school by the steps
leading down
I wait for Helen
I'd seen her in class

but I want to walk home
with her
as she said
Cogan pulls her hair

if I’m not there
it's dampish
the sky is grey
the sun is weak

I watch other kids
go by down the steps
and off to their homes
then she comes

sees me and smiles
her hair in two plaits
and her thick lens glasses
slightly smeared

thank you
for waiting for me
she says
Cogan said

he was going to pull
my hair and put worms
down my back
well I’m here

so he won't
I say
she looks around her
and we walk off

and down St George's Road
why is he
so horrible to me?
she asks

because he can
or thinks he can
I say
bullies are like that

he said I was a fish face
she says
as we go onward
you're pretty

I say
don't take notice
of him
am I?

she says
really pretty?
of course you are
I say

she smiles
we go under the subway
and I sing so
that my voice

echoes along the walls
she seems happier
join in
I say

I can't I’m too shy
she says
I like her simplicity
her innocent being

we come up
the other side
onto the New Kent Road
and walk by

the Trocadero cinema
what are you doing
after tea?
I ask her

have to see
what Mum says
she says
she may want me

to help her bath
the baby
ok
I say

if you can get out
I’ll be on the bomb site
off Meadow Row
she nods

and I walk her
to her home
and then walk along
Rockingham Street

to Banks house
for some tea
and see Mum
and change

and then off I go
to Meadow Row.

Her fingertips loosed the glass
bottle, which had
of late
gathered rain like the
hands of paupers.

Glitter in a heartbeat.
to be collected by old battered shoes
or car tyres
and streetwise magpies.

it joins a city evensong
this oceanic roar of nothing
fusing chords of cars and smoke
and lonely dogs
with hacks
and throngs
of perambulating suits
and suitors
trampling athwart broads of concrete
As swifts in summer.


We swim in it
through open atriums
and barren rooms of
magnolia and magnolia and magnolia.

All the while if you look harder
you see through chinks a sepulchre
in each greying tower
ranging higher and higher still.

Machines and machinations
stacking life upon life to
build pyramids
to gaudy kings
in pinstripe or herringbone.

Flumes of fumes ***** like floods
Into and out of train stops
and bus stands.
Circling lungs like hungry crows.
Crows which haunt
Bombed out chapels made new
resuscitated with waxen ivy
and ivory lilies.

And the leaves of saintly oak trees
chatter in shrinking crevices of green
story telling
Of how people and things grow old.
And you can walk these streets
And dive too like cormorants into
The platitudes of city living.

Soaked to the skin in sound
to tell your story
like the shards
of a broken bottle.

a sweet girl falls for the first boy she sees
and he is sweet for a while

his curly hair, devilish stare keeps her afflicted for a bit
speaking in tongues, translating words into kisses when they had none
‘i want to kiss you over and over’ in a jazz bar where the drummer isn’t very good
taking the wrong bus three times in a row

he claims he hates poetry and thats all she ever does, write about him
“i can’t wait to remember you”
zippers and untied shoes
a train ride north to sleep at his parents house
and they usually stumble in together after a pint or two
sneaking up the stairs, a bathroom with no doorknob
the floors sing beneath them