Mania dances around my head teasing me into thinking I’m happy , when mania is near your uncontrollable laughter consumes my sadness , your thoughts consume mine as we become one, you love attention and you do anything to get it, a soft whisper in my ear and a shove from behind forcing me to live out your life, my anxiety is racing with uncertainty from the uncomfortable situations you put me in , and as my mind races to figure out how to stop it , you slowly bring me back to earth again , reminding me that you are me and I am you, as you slowly fade away , waiting for another day, the sadness sinks back in, wishing I had your confidence and wishing I had your silly personality, my dark room calls me away from freedom of mania , reaching for the orange pill bottle ,lithium stares into my eyes with a glimmer telling me everything will be all right as I shut my eyes.

My thoughts
Paint brilliant colors,
But
Chemical venom
Swells my tongue
And silence
Fills my mouth.

How funny is it
A simple salt was
Forgotten by my brain

you didn’t think
the lesions of my
soul
were ****

you just had
to see me
as i am

harsh precision
my soul as a prism
for me alone

embarrassing to say
you were the first
not to get hard
when i took my lithium

the right thing
at wrong time
how cliché

lithium
keeping me from iridescent mania
cutting of the air to my lungs
strangling me with snaky grey
v
     i
n
     e
         s
oozing with itchy slime
that gets in every pore
depression and self loathing set in
why is this my prescription?

Yes I have a bipolar mind.
I look for clear but never know what I will find.
Mom sent me away.
For a few months and a day.
Mom said she couldn't handle me.
Why couldn't she see?
I wasn't really myself.
I was someone else.
Sometimes blue.
Gosh if I could sue.
Every little ****
Who made me hate my guts.
Awe look at her.
**** she's got the face of a murderer.
Why you always crying Graffe *** *****?
Why not end it and die in a ditch?
I was definatly all over the place.
Stuck with this awful race.
I couldn't control my actions.
So I shoved all emotions back with a little lithium.
Then I didn't see clear.
Actually nothing ever happens here.
I see nothing now.
And there's no changing my mind.