I’m sure it’ll be a great party
even though I’m dressed like a Barbie
it’s all in good fun
I won’t drink more than one
and they probably won’t even card me.

I’m sure the flyers aren’t serious
the cover girls all look delirious
the guys all wear suits
while the women “let loose”
but I can’t justify the criteria.

I’m sure it was one great big joke
the way your fraternal friends spoke
it wasn’t the way
you called me your bae
it’s just that I’ve never been groped.

I’m sure it wasn’t your fault
and it wasn’t really assault
so let’s just forget
the ***** and the sweat
and take it with a grain of salt.

I’m sure there’s nothing to fear
and in nine months to a year
we’ll give in to fate
and when you graduate
we can shack up and share a career.

Now I’m sure I was being naive
turns out your name wasn’t Steve
and all the support
you swore not to retort
leaves me nothing to do but to grieve.

A Jack-o-Lantern, it's said,
Had the brain scooped out of his head;
     He was only as bright
     As the dim candle light,
But boy was he handsome instead!

Boris and Natasha's minds were awhirl
As the Russia probe facts did unfurl
Let's end the confusion
There was no collusion
Was fake news of moose and of squirrel

As she walked down the aisle I was smiling
My blushing young bride was beguiling
After kissing, do tell
I re-lowered the veil
My excuse was "our wedding's freestyling."

There was an old poet named Mark
Who loved to steal walks in the park.
One day he was frightened,
A big dog did bite him.
He does nothing more on a lark.

There was a young math **** named Herbert
Who fancied himself a tax expert.
Touting tax tips he tried,
Till terribly tongue-tied;
No more will he overexert.

A poppy is pretty and bright
And its juice is so far out of sight
    That the smoke in a den
    Full of ***** old men
Makes all of them high as a kite.

A Tomcat and Queen fought over fiercely
Where to educate their brilliant kitty
They agreed upon two
CATS Boston and Purr-due
Thus avoiding a cat-astrophe

Al created the algorithm
One late night as Tipper danced with him
The thought came by chance
As they freestyle danced
Initially dubbed "Al Gore Rhythm!"

A lady from Rentz thought it neat
Hoping in London the prince to meet
He passed her that day
Looking the other way
She'll have to go back to Rentz and repeat