They said,"If it's meant to be ..."
And I believed it ,not as a promise,
Bt as quiet understanding:
That love cannot be chased,
And fate is not a thing you beg for.

So I stopped waiting.
I became the rescue,
The solace,
The steady.

And if it's meant to be,
Let if find me whole ,
Not waiting,
Bt living.

I do wish we hadn't met actually
I don't want to ache like this
Because of you I know things can be different,
And it's me who sits around complacent
You made my mind feel young again
And I had the audacity to wish

I dreamt of airplanes, and long drives through the states,
Coffee dates in the morning, every night staying up to game.

I pictured a wedding! One where I say I do.
That would have never happened if I never came across you.
I'm dissecting my feelings, which isn't unusual to do, but I'm doing it from your perspective, and you'll never know so *******.

If I never knew you I could have just stayed on my path, not wondered what different, gentler things could be like,
Because I'm not destined for that.

If I only said "Hi" and went on my way, not giggling at your texts each and every day,
Would I be arguing with myself unjustifying reasons not to stay?

You are still alive in me
The way your eyes would find me in the crowd,
How you would smile looking at me,
I was the prize.
You are still alive in me
The short walks, the long walks,
The sunsets, the fireworks,
I was the luckiest.
You are still alive in me
Your hands always trying to reach mine,
Every time the coffee slipped off mine,
I was the silliest.
You are still alive in me
In the long shadows,
In the dialogues of that action movie,
I was dramatic.
You are still alive in me
I’ll imagine her hands,
I’ll imagine her face,
I’ll imagine her smile,
I am defeated.

I know that love aches,
I knew that going in.
It's hard to replace,
And the pain never ends.

Another heartache
For the ever-growing list
Of men I chose
For an over-indulgent tryst.

There's one thing in common,
One basic flaw:
The very simple matter
They fell for me at all.

It’s me,
The incompatible one,
The one longevity doesn’t trust.
You saw me plated in gold,
But it’s just
A thick layer of rust.

I thought that we could beat this,
Outrun all my fears
But that’s not your responsibility,
And neither are my tears.

And just like that…

I summoned the courage
To Burn the page
I once folded with trembling care,

It now curls in flame,
a silent flare
of who i was…

Is no longer here.

Maybe I will have a drink at a party with my friends,
And yeah, we’ll probably talk about how it was never going to work anyway.
We’ll laugh, and we’ll dance, pretending we’re fools,
And maybe someone asks to buy me a drink.

Time will freeze.
My smile will falter, just barely,
Feeling the ache before the butterflies,
Because moving on never really means forgetting,
                   Does it?

Ill pack up your things,
Toss them in the yard,
Your clothes and my rings,
I'll throw them so ******* far

You don't have to worry,
They'll be back in their places tomorrow,
I'll make you breakfast I'm sorry,
I know better than to act on my sorrow

The comings days will be fine,
A few weeks of apologetic bliss,
I know you'll keep crossing my boundary line,
But **** I crave your venomous kiss