Stuck in my own thoughts
All alone
The darkness swallows me
As a whole

I'm tired.
Tired of
The same draining thoughts
Tired of
The same back and forth
Hatred then compassion
Tired of
Knowing what's right
And still doing what's wrong
Tired of
Beating myself up
For what's out of my control
Tired of
Mistaking clouds
As bad omens
Tired of
Telling myself it's okay
Just relax, you're okay
I'm tired of
Not writing poems
To make myself feel better

I'm just
tired.
So I guess I'll sleep.

I smile
and I laugh
but quietly I mourn who I used to be

I joke
and I check in on you
but quietly
I'm losing sight of who I used to be

In moments of mental clarity
I can say maybe it's just in my head

But the past few days
in the dead of night
I constantly wonder if I'll really be alright

It feels like something is broken inside

I constantly wonder if I'll really be alright

you are a lover of
the night

you see
what the day is
too shy to reveal

Depression is mine to control

Mine alone in me is mine
As another's in them is theirs

So no two depressions can ever be the same
And yet like gold melded jade, sisters they are

Why should sister and sister be forced apart?
What do they fear?

Is it them? Is it us?
To finally admit that sisters are twins?

Of the exact same blood < in essence, in pain

Noble to only whose vains they run
but deeper than a true Suns lineage

In knowing that what is reflected as a mirror is exactly what's seen

But the fear of being the same is what drives them to shame

So what of this power that let eyes be mirrors
waiting for hope to appear?

Depression is < mind =to= control

My pillow misses you
more than I do.
The way you taste, the way you feel
Your kiss echoes goodnight.
A sheep lost it's way to the moon
tonight.
We both lie awake waiting for you
The last thought before
falling asleep.
If it seemed I never missed you
you're sadly mistaken &
everything in between