Even the smallest warm interaction with other people counts.

Decided to become that version—
Heartless. Ruthless.
No place for love.

No emotions dictating,
Only silence, always calculating.
No chances taken,
Nothing to hurt, no pain to endure.

But then it dawned—
Even this was emotion dictating.
Just a bargain with time,
To postpone the pain.

No one is invulnerable.
No one is unstoppable.
No one can escape,
When love decides to pay a visit.

No one can escape
The joy that it brings,
And the dreaded pain that follows

Heavy is the weapon that carries it’s victim’s blood –
Heavy is a ***** mind that eventually fills with mud;
Heavy are your eyes in a dream, like a sleeping prong,
Piercing your thoughts in the daylight; life lives short –
While the dreams we make of ourselves live long.

Heavy is the head that wears the crown,
Heavy is the crowd, hoping to see you down;
Heavy is the weight of love, to make your kids proud.

For by the blood of ourselves, the words of our tongue
Are the greatest weapons, to lift or bring others down,
Even as your dirtiest thoughts subtly attract so easily,
It comes from all being fully stained in our sin’s filth –
While your dreams are the length of your passions;
The measure you take to achieve them, lies in width.

Bearing the crown of responsibility; those below you,
Look you down, seeing your success without longevity.
Avoid the negativity, live in positivity, a life of wisdom,
Joy, & love – a legacy your young would be proud to be.

I have built a shrine to you in my ribs,
lit candles behind my teeth,
burned every whispered thought like incense
and let the smoke of you fill my lungs.

But you don’t see it.
You don’t feel the weight of my hands
pressed together in silent prayer,
offering devotion to a god that does not answer.

You move like gravity,
pulling me in,
holding me just close enough
to taste what I will never touch.

I know this is not love.
Love is given, love is known, love is a bridge.
This is something else—
a ghost, a sickness, a dream that refuses to die
no matter how many times I wake up.

I have dissected every glance,
read scripture in the way you say my name,
built entire galaxies
out of the empty spaces between us.

You don’t know what it’s like
to live inside a story
that only plays in my head.

You don’t know what it’s like
to have your name carved into the marrow of my bones
where even time cannot touch it.

You don’t know what it’s like
to starve for a love that does not exist.

And still—
I keep the shrine.
I light the candles.
I kneel.

Because limerence is nothing
if not the worship of something
that was never real.

A wise man has told me things that aren’t true.
A child has told me the secrets of the universe.

Knowledge is not limited to those with privilege and power.
Knowledge is often used to right the wrongs of those in control.
Knowledge is a tool that empowers the wielder with strength.

When wielded for good,
knowledge can be a pen to create.
When wielded for good,
knowledge can be a sword to protect.

When wielded by evil,
knowledge becomes a concealing blindfold.
When wielded by evil,
knowledge becomes a restricting rope.

Knowledge can create and protect freedom, joy, and even life.
Knowledge can be used to conceal and restrict the same things.

so we were by the gate
under a sky of stars
I stretched my hands and she held them
and they were warm
as warm as the red berries I plucked last summer
and she smiled
laughing, she jumped
from foot to foot, swinging her head
like a lovely little puppy biting a shoe.
"I love you" she said
and I looked at her
lifting the hair that fell over her eyes
I replied
"I'm very Thirsty".