I am in a box
As I reach out
Touch the walls
This strange barrier that separates me
From the other
Anything external
Different
Other
A hand from the box adjacent to mine appears
Splayed against the wall
I reach out mine
The dark and light contrast
Like the Chinese symbol Ying and yang
Other clearly
Other
Even a child could tell the difference
But,
Who does it take to look past the differences?

Lives inside
      A monster
Picking at
      everything new
Pointing out
       everything wrong
With your life
With them
With you

I can't write this with words softened.
You're up and down,
In a  Myriad of ways.
You see my heart, its doors opened.
You know me too well.
It's killing me, just a bit.
I wonder if you're what they cautioned.
Difficult to handle,
But you give me such a buzz.
You have too many pieces, horizons broadened,
But still, I still come along with you.
In a myriad of ways.

I promise to tell the truth,  the whole truth and nothing but the truth
So help me God.

Connection your honor.
In this case it can be described as being one with myself.

The ability to then be connected with others.
Let the record show,  it takes hard work,  inner growth and release of ego.
The evidence will show lack of negative energies expressed,
And influx of positive vibes.

Objection; this isn't a sustainable lifestyle.
Overruled.

The defendant has admitted to past involvement in self sabotage.
With a history of willingness to introspection, meaningful dialogue, and sincere change.

Without threat or coercion I choose to let go of the toxic and insignificant,
And plead to expand knowledge and deep understanding of self and others.

To be the bright,  humble and shining Star I was born to be.  

The defense rests.

My soul cries out for truest peace
But flesh trades rest in mindless ease.

My soul, it yearns for truest love
But flesh says pleasure is enough.

My soul will strain for freedom dear
But flesh holds comfort out of fear.

My soul will long to show pure love
But my flesh decides it's done enough.

My soul wants selfish thoughts to break
But my flesh will live to only take.

"Enough," my soul arose and said,
"I will not rest 'til Flesh is dead.

"It can't be done in just a day,
But I will fight and find a way.

"I'll struggle hard as it holds on
And grapple with in 'till the dawn."

I'm choosing not the path of ease.
Now I will fight for truth and peace.

I've been trying to run away from my demons but somehow it feels like I'm just running in circles...
I've been trying to run away from myself, but the mirrors in my room have managed to trap me inside...
I've been trying to scream and let this air out, but my pride has cut off the oxygen inside my lungs...
I've been trying to figure out my place in this life... but I just find arrows pointing in different directions, so I'm at a standstill feeling lost...

This internal fight is like battle that has no ending date... my soldiers completely exhausted, don't know how long they can continue on... and I in the middle of the field just waiting for the deadly shot.

In spite of everything ... my heart continues on a fearless pursuit for the thief that has taken happiness its hostage ... my heart doesn't care how much my mind has to fight... or how badly my feet want to run on the opposite direction.

My heart is the ultimate warrior, the only one to save me when my anxious lifetime companion tries to become a permanent visitor inside my home.

I am the last of a dying breed,
The shrinking group of people who can say,
They know me.
Not my name,
Nor my stories.
Hell, half of them are lies.
I am alone with my thoughts, and actions, and mind,
And I can tell you for sure,
That we are all alone, together.
We are not how we're seen, or how we see ourselves;
I am every ****** thing I have ever done,
And if somebody knew,
They would weep for the part of me that still gives a ****.
Thankfully, I know what they do not.
That this part of me does not exist.