#imsorry poems on Hello Poetry

Xiao - SparKticas Jul 2017

You don't have to put another thought to me.
I don't have to exist in that part of your heart anymore
But you exist there for me
I can't bear to exist without you there anymore.

I miss
Your bright, warming and truthful smile
I miss
Your innocent, pure and honest laugh
I miss
Your unwavering, strong and undying loyalty
I miss
Your soft, tender and loving embrace
I miss
Your quiet, compassionate and dedicated love
I miss
Your ******, delicate and natural body
I miss
You...

Im sorry I just needed to get this out. From your kisses and hugs, to your soft breath, I feel lost without em

#heartbreak #heartache #relationship #breakup #imsorry #us #broken #hurting #lonely

Xiao - SparKticas Jul 2017

Happiness

Just for a moment,
I felt as if I was able to breathe.
Just for a moment,
It was like I was someone else.

I experienced
For the first time
Something I would only describe
As...
Happiness

I felt it for a moment as I lay there, exchanging words.
Natural, raw and emotional
It felt right, like it could do no harm.

All good things come to an end

Just as quickly as it came it was snatched from me
The air ****** from my lungs
What once was, now an empty void
Desperately trying to fill itself.

But even for that moment
I felt as if I was able to breathe.
Just for a moment,
It was like I was someone else.

I experienced
For the first time
Something I would only describe
As...
*Happiness

Even though it only lasted a moment, thank you for making me happy. It had been so long I'd almost forgotten how it felt to smile like it meant something.

#heartache #heartbreak #relationship #lonely #texting #her #pain #loss #imsorry

Xiao - SparKticas Jul 2017

Ill-conceiver

Not now
Not once
Not ever
Have I wanted you to see how I truly feel.

I'm fine
I'm okay
I'm happy
The lies I tell so you don't know how I really struggle.

Don't worry
Don't stress
Don't ask*
All things I say so you don't find out how I really suffer.

I lie so you can be okay with the decision you made.
So that you dont find out just how much I wish you hadn't have done it.
I pretend so that you think I've moved on from it.
So that you don't realise just how much I haven't moved on.

#heartache #heartbreak #imsorry #pretend #hurting #pain #suffering #relationship #breakup #iloveyou

Xiao - SparKticas Jul 2017

Right Now

Try as I will,
Try as I might.
I've already accepted,*
*I can't win this fight.

#hopeless #heartache #heartbreak #relationship #imsorry #breakup #pain #loss #lonely

Xiao - SparKticas Jul 2017

The Friend

Ive always feared playing friend.
I guess what I really feared was the truth,
That playing friend would mean,
I had accepted we as us had come to an end.
•~•
Truthfully I think it's already true.
It's already too late to change anything,
'Cause at the end of the day,
I know there is no more me an you.

#heartache #heartbreak #depression #imsorry #loneliness #hurt #pain #relationship

Xiao - SparKticas Jul 2017

Dear Diary

I still type,
Those things,
We would say to eachother.
They all go,
In my notes,
Because I cant say 'em to you.
I still pretend,
That it's okay,
When I'm only kidding myself.
Call me stupid,
Maybe I'm ignorant,
But I wish my notepad could type back.

I really dont know what I was going for, the things we used to always say to eachother are now nothing but words in a notepad for me, my only way of coping. I didn't choose for things to be this way, so not saying them is nearly impossible, I just wish at least once... I could hear them back.

#heartbreak #heartache #hurting #lonely #imsorry #forgiveme #relationship #pain #loss #love

Xiao - SparKticas Jul 2017

Nothing Helps

Nothing helps,
Externalising this pain seems almost impossible.
These emotions don’t translate into words,
Into sentences,
Into paragraphs.
I can’t tell you whats wrong,
I can’t tell you how I feel,
I can’t tell you whats wrong,
I can’t tell you how I deal.

Nothing helps,
Externalising this pain seems almost impossible.
These emotions don’t translate into words,
Into sentences,
Into paragraphs,
I give it my all,
I try try try and I try,
I give it my all,
I cry cry cry and I cry.

Nothing helps,
Externalising this pain seems almost impossible.
These emotions don’t translate into words,
Into sentences,
Into paragraphs,
It all seems so hopeless,
It is a dead end for me,
It all seems so hopeless,
*It is a dead end you’ll see.

There, if I cant externalise the pain, I'll externalise the struggle

#heartache #speechless #hurt #broken #heartbreak #relationship #pain #imsorry #iloveyou

Xiao - SparKticas Jul 2017

No Pain, No Gain

If with you there is nothing to gain,
Then you will always be my favourite kind of pain.

They ask me why I still talk to you,
Perhaps it’s because I don't truly believe we're through.

So I book another appointment,
Met with yet another disappointment.

I’d say I believe everyone deserves a second chance,
But so many later I’m not sure I’m worth a second glance.

I wish I could expel the emotions in my heart,
Whilst I remain silent, allowing myself to fall apart.

Why do I do this to myself?
When you’ve already put us on the shelf.

At times I find myself craving your pain,*
Even if there is nothing to gain.

I really wish I knew how to express how I feel, how I hurt, how I hope.

#heartache #heartbreak #breakup #imsorry #over #hurt #pain #depression #lonely #iloveyou

Xiao - SparKticas Jul 2017

Timetraveller

I wish I was,
For if I could,
Be it a moment,
Or for an eternity,

I would travel back to then

For if it were,
That it was possible,
To correct my wrongs,
All in one go,

I would travel back to when

Nothing but a chance,
To make it up,
The wrongs I made,
I am truly sorry,

**I would travel back to then

I wish I could go back to then, back to when I was wrong, and make it right

#heartache #heartbreak #breakup #lonely #depression #misery #imsorry #hurt #pain

Xiao - SparKticas Jul 2017

Butterfly Wings

Theres something about the way,
Something so perfect and pure,
Can simply cease to exist,
Just you left, nothing to say.
~
You're free, spread your wings,
To somewhere unknown you fly,
With no direction you're lost,
Just getting over the little things.
~
Hurt by that which was once ours,
Struggling to stay above,
Each breath dissipating,
This butterfly flew with *scars.

Just trying to stay afloat

#heartache #depression #lost #hurting #relationship #breakup #imsorry