When you are not near me
  I question where you are.

        When your messages do not find me until late
                  where are they going?

                                   Do they find a home with someone else?
                                            Or do they stay safe with you?

                                                           ­            When you are not here
                                        staring at me with those golden caramel eyes


                                 I can't help but wonder
                               where else they might be.


                                              Do they stay on one path?
                      or do they wander the world
                                      hungry with curiosity?

My family always questions my relationship status as though it determines the person I am.
My mom believes I am too independent and headstrong.
My stepdad thinks it's because I don't socialize with enough people and I don't get out of the house.
But, no one really knows the truth hidden in these walls.
No one in my home truly understands.
All of my family has carried a set of higher goals for me than I really ever had for myself. I have always been told,
"Hannah, I hope and pray you find the perfect man in your life that treats you right and loves you for you."
What if that person wasn't a man?
Would it be the same? Would I fulfill the hopes and dreams they have always wished for me?
Unfortunately, the little girl that they have always cherished would never be seen through the same eyes.
Because loving the same *** is against the bible and everything they have ever believed in.
So therefore, it would never be right. I would always be wrong in the eyes of my loved ones and my so called creator.
While I did not find someone who matched the perfect image everyone has set for me, I did find what was perfect for me.
I found someone with my sense of humor and my beliefs.
I found someone who loves me for all of my curves and personal battle wounds.
I found someone who took me out of the darkness and into the light, showing me a whole new world.
This person became a part of my motivation to success and apart of a new forever.
I would have never thought I would experience such a love in this forsaken world.
So, mom, I found someone.. You don't have to worry anymore.
I fell in love and I am the happiest I have ever been.
I'll just never be able to tell you.

Playing in the dirt, not a worry about our shirts or our skirts.
Building pillow towers, Wasting away our hours pretending we were wizards With great power.
Slaying the bad guys and winning the noble prize.
That's the way things used to be, when happiness was key..
But now we waste our time, only being mimes.
All of us fake and conniving like snakes.
Sneaking around bringing others down.
Only wanting fame and a crowned name.
Rotting at the very core all because you couldn't open your own door.
But this is Life As We Know It.

Dangerous I may be, Sadly this is only the half of me.
I unfurl my wings wishing I looked like a king but instead I carry around a ******* wings.
With this beast inside, even I found I have no where to hide.
No one realizes that I'm just like the others. I have a mother and I have a brother.
But still I'm seen like the wolverine. All claws and jaws.
Ive tried and tried, but I sadly only found myself tied and set aside.
Theres no where left for me i'm here on my knees begging for someone to pick up the pieces.
I am destruction and there will never be construction.
My mind and soul have been slammed and jammed for I am the ******.
There is no where left for me.

Good night. Don't let the bed bugs bite.
I promise there is a light. Just close your eyes and things will be alright.
Sleep and dream of somewhere out of sight like the movies that are black and white.
When you go to sleep tonight ill hold you tight.
I promise things will be alright. Know that i'm forever yours tonight.