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If I can be honest,
How come I always break my promises to you?
If I'm not afraid,
Why am I so scared to move?
I'm barely breathing.
And if I can be honest,
How come I always end up so far away from you?
You made me a promise,
*And I'll always hold it true.
Honest - Thousand Foot Krutch
Whisper Yes Oct 2017
Surrender angel
Feel the love
Feel the heart break
Feel the heartbreak of regret
       For hurting someone you love
Rylie Lucas Oct 2017
Explicit

I'm sorry I'm not the daughter you wanted
I'm sorry I'm a ****** sister
I'm sorry that I'm depressed
And cry a lot

I'm so sorry I don't do everything you ask
I'm so sorry I'm not perfect and pretty
I'm so sorry that I put such a damper on your lives
And that I'm tired

And antisocial

Please forgive me for being a human being

I'm really sorry I even exist

I wish I could just disappear
To make it easier for everyone
Seen as I'm such a horrible person
Seen as it's impossible to be nice to me

Impossible to deal with me
Impossible to love me

I'm so ******* sorry
I'm so ******* sorry
--- Oct 2017
When you are not near me
  I question where you are.

        When your messages do not find me until late
                  where are they going?

                                   Do they find a home with someone else?
                                            Or do they stay safe with you?

                                                           ­            When you are not here
                                        staring at me with those golden caramel eyes


                                 I can't help but wonder
                               where else they might be.


                                              Do they stay on one path?
                      or do they wander the world
                                      hungry with curiosity?
Whisper Yes Oct 2017
I love you
I would be yours
If you would only say the words
Just say the words
And I am yours

That was always the case

I needed to be claimed
Truly claimed
I needed to know you wanted me
All of me
That you were willing to commit to me
That I was important to you
I got to learn all that too late
I got to feel the depth of your love too late

Only through trying to leave did I feel how much you wanted me to stay
That you loved me
And truly wanted me around you
I also got to see how much I love you
Bitter sweet
We used to say we were forever
That we were 110% loyal to eachother
And we would spend an eternity together.

What happened to those promises?
Where did the loyalty go?
Why didnt we last forever?
Who am I to question you leaving...

Its hard reading old messages
People change its true
But I never wanted that person to be you

What happened to the I love you?
Where did the happiness go?
Why did it have to end like this?
Who am I to force you to stay...
I dont know, I just miss the forever, and the parts where we promised to be eachothers forever. We promised wed love no one else, that wed always work through it all and be together... I was so so naive...
You don't have to put another thought to me.
I don't have to exist in that part of your heart anymore
But you exist there for me
I can't bear to exist without you there anymore.

I miss
Your bright, warming and truthful smile
I miss
Your innocent, pure and honest laugh
I miss
Your unwavering, strong and undying loyalty
I miss
Your soft, tender and loving embrace
I miss
Your quiet, compassionate and dedicated love
I miss
Your ******, delicate and natural body
I miss
You...
Im sorry I just needed to get this out. From your kisses and hugs, to your soft breath, I feel lost without em
Just for a moment,
I felt as if I was able to breathe.
Just for a moment,
It was like I was someone else.

I experienced
For the first time
Something I would only describe
As...
Happiness

I felt it for a moment as I lay there, exchanging words.
Natural, raw and emotional
It felt right, like it could do no harm.

All good things come to an end

Just as quickly as it came it was snatched from me
The air ****** from my lungs
What once was, now an empty void
Desperately trying to fill itself.

But even for that moment
I felt as if I was able to breathe.
Just for a moment,
It was like I was someone else.

I experienced
For the first time
Something I would only describe
As...
*Happiness
Even though it only lasted a moment, thank you for making me happy. It had been so long I'd almost forgotten how it felt to smile like it meant something.
Not now
Not once
Not ever
Have I wanted you to see how I truly feel.

I'm fine
I'm okay
I'm happy
The lies I tell so you don't know how I really struggle.

Don't worry
Don't stress
Don't ask*
All things I say so you don't find out how I really suffer.
I lie so you can be okay with the decision you made.
So that you dont find out just how much I wish you hadn't have done it.
I pretend so that you think I've moved on from it.
So that you don't realise just how much I haven't moved on.
Try as I will,
Try as I might.
I've already accepted,*
*I can't win this fight.
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