I'm not dead,
mostly...
I was in the hospital for a while.
I'm back now! :)

i saw the veins on your hands as you carried me to safety
I saw you slouching with your back as you waited patiently for the doctor's words
I saw you feeding me rice when I could barely say 'grandmother'

And now I'm watching you sleep on the hospital bed
I am as worried as you were when I was too sick to breathe

Your inconsistent heartbeats brought my mama to tears
But I'm still here
remembering how much you told me to stay strong

Breakfast at 9, sharp
and it's vital time.

That large fat man
with the boyish face
tells me to come
on,
and I do

Pitter patter like
the hammers of
rain on the tin roof,
but my feet are in
rhythm. Jog will you,
jog.

Cold and blue, my skin
shows the roots and
highway of veins. I am sat
down, and grabbed like
a quick decision
purchase.

They twine it around my arm and
tell me to make a fist. I'm numb,
I say, I feel a fever.
The fat oily man
nods and
smiles.

Who's this lady,
tapping on my forearm?
Blue-blood, let me
go.
They're tapping into
the oil wells,
I think.

5 vials now, my pupils
are blurred. I am
spurting red into the
tube, this is not
the Gross
Clinic.

After it is
ceased,
a quick snap and
tape on the gauze.
I'm shoo'd out,
go eat.

It's a thick blue
awning, sludge and
sap. Wax trudging and
churning
in my
bowels.

I lay in the
bed, like some
sort of fat cat --
just eaten my fair share
of mice.

Disgust and
green, bubonic and
glee, can I
smile? Can I dial?

Can I
laugh. I've gotten
off the phone with
the quack.

Medication so
raw and sore like
boils redder than
dawn and more,
chinese red and
yellow ochre,
feed me nausea,
until it's
over.

They are the heart givers
and the breath takers
without them I cannot live
but just like my exgirlfriend
they can't seem to find
where they left their compassion.

I cannot breathe
but that is only because it cost too much to live
understanding their desire of money
it pains me to know greed
not of my own will be the cause of my death.

That in my generosity I forgot
planting trees does not grow the greens they seek
and the carrots sprouting are ones they eat
not the ones they don't wear to the office
but dance around their family with.

Education was supposed to be their gravity
and with each ounce of knowledge
built an anchor to the moon
because instead of humanity
they've become a celestial star
whose imagination wanders
outside the orbit of those who may be suffering.

A broken hearted soul
paves the waiting room with their corpse
because while in the void
something had to go and
it wasn't the money
but a man that couldn't
afford to keep his heart going.

a soft glitter, stream
out like a
faucet.

I felt it! I
felt the ailment.
And all I could
see was red.

suppurate, seethe,
writhe and let me
see your teeth

I take it in
moderation like
waves in the current

news on the
block, guillotine ---
shock me, put the stickers
on

And all I could
see was red.

Us girlies in our
cots, our beds,
rise at the sound of the
morning gunshot.

half past 8, the blinds
bolted shut like
some sort of gilded
prison

put on these socks
now, o
rubbered and friction
you don't want
hepatitis
now.

the bell jangles, no
that must be the phone and
8 foxes of the den
stand in a
line.

phone home will
you, doktor calls with
your paper cup. run like
you're freed and
ceased.

lukewarm water, O
now is she on Lithium?
nine hundred. the
morning gunshot

fires into the
ceiling speakers,
ringing like the
salvation army.