these hard words

are the only fruit my hard-rocked soiled-soul produces,
my alliterations secrete no beliefs, quench nothing,
the poems I don’t write are my most successful,
the songs that comforted, now find no-entry orifice

skin cold wet clammy sweating unsuitable for tilling,
my horizons natural, felled, underground swallowed,
replaced by the man-made barriers, guardrails of words
leaving body, utterances shoutout, exiting non-permissioned

lurch from one guilt-carrying, black leather-straps wrapped,
round my arm, to the ones strapped around my temple,
honorable acts owed, responsibilities fear foundering
unfulfilled lists, griefs, signs of cowardice, badges shameful

deep sighs, open groans, me mean asking questions of myself,
laughed off, city noises turned off, silences of colorless colden,
the sirens loudest inside reverb endlessly, still give nothing away,
a final exam, an all sided, annual checkup reveals nothing but


these hard words

7:48am 10/15/19

i miss the sound of your voice,
the ways words rolled off your tongue as you spoke,
the love that was felt in every silent moment

i miss you in the way  
that i don’t feel whole,
It feels like we’re just part this poem
A bunch of random words ready for
eyes who are eager to read it.

i do not feel we are strong .
i loved too softly and a little too deeply.

I was content with the subtle touches of your hand
Now I just miss any touch at all

i miss you...

so much that there is a hole the size of you  inside me.

i wish you knew...

maybe you do?

maybe i don't cross your
mind as often as you cross mine.

even if I don’t, my love for you still continues

in the darkest parts of my soul,
Reminders of you light me up

Our memories. The feeling of young love.
gentle, pushing gently against my walls that have quickly been put back up

i miss you. a bit too often, and a bit too much.

Joanna hurt me
She broke my heart torn apart
Now I am less whole

Luck has to be earnt,
    Never given.

So go out
and make
          yours happen.

It’s been a month now and my personality is busting at the seems
I’m falling apart and this is where I start to lose you I think
It’s so rob so very classic rob
Why can’t he stop
He can’t hold it together
I don’t think he’s getting better
She’s got super human eyes
She can see right through my guise
We have been hanging out having a fun time
But I don’t think she wants to be mine
And it happens every time
I’ll freak out and lose my mind
Have to say everything’s fine
Even though I’m dying on the inside
Hope my homies ain’t catch me crying
Cause I’d be lying if I told them everything was just alright

she gave
the very flesh off her back
and it was her demise
Esther L. Krenzin