Dear Amelia,
How have you been? I know it’s out of the blue and even more likely you won’t read this letter. But I must get some things off my chest. I have tried so many things to alleviate the pain reigning over me but all to no avail. It’s okay, I’m just trying to let you know I miss you. I have no expectations of you coming back to me, but I’d just like to say that you’re still the one consuming my days and nights and every drink I pour has been in an attempt to not think of you, if only for a minute. Maybe someday I will stop thinking of you.

Perhaps someday we’ll learn how to live our lives without fear of falling apart the mere touch of another human being. Maybe someday we’ll let someone special into our hearts, see the ugly parts we hide from everyone else. Until then, I’ll keep you deep within my heart. The boldest I’d ever been in my life was when I tore myself open right in front of you. Magically, you didn’t run away. You took good care of me and years later, when you finally revealed the broken pieces lodged deep within your barren soul, I did my best to pull them out and sew the open wounds. My God, we did so well for each other.

I often wonder when things began to fall apart. Was it when our wounds were healed and our souls began seeking something else in this ****** up world? Even now I grieve for the things we achieved together and the things we’ll never experience together. The thought of never picking a wedding dress with you kills me every time. I’ll never get to put a ring on your finger. I’ll never watch you walk down the aisle, glowing under the May sun (because you always said you wanted to get married on May 15th). I’ll never get to spend the first night in our hard-earned home somewhere in the suburb or a new apartment in the city. I wonder sometimes if you remember me fondly… or if you even think about me from time to time. Men have always been the weaker ***, far more prone to sentimentality and regret. And, well. I am regretting hard right now. We did so much good for each other but, God, I wish I did so much more. Anyways, I hope you are doing well. I pray that God is kind to you night before bed.

Maybe one day we’ll be able to talk to each other again. As old friends.
Until then…

As you step into my world, forget the girl
I once was. here I'm a goddess. Here
I'm seen.
The bright lights shine on my face,
on my spirit. and fear leaves my body.
The music starts, possessing me.
i sway to the tune, melodies controlling
my movement.
From my smile, raw and genuine, a
song comes out: an old song.
it's a sad song.
a song of love.
it's a tragedy.
Watch me sing it anyway.
for past my glossy eyes,
my soul has never felt more alive.
but when you leave, forget what you've seen.
go back to knowing nothing about me.

What is the meaning of Spiritual Initiation?
It is a start to reach our ultimate destination
The guidance of a Guru can take us there faster
But for this, we need an Enlightened Master!
Initiation is the beginning of our Journey to the Truth
It is the way to get to the bottom of the root

Why Spiritual Initiation? Why must we go on a Quest?
Why must we put our beliefs to test?
Because of ignorance, what we were taught in schools
We continue to believe and live like fools!
It's time to question, 'Who am I?'
'Am I this Body that will just live and die?

To Initiate the Journey, we must still the Mind
It is our enemy, this Truth, we must find
Along with the Ego, it becomes Mind and Ego, ME
It tells us, 'We are the Body,' in the mirror that we see
It hides the Truth that we are the Divine Soul
We need Initiation to reach our Goal!
Initiation is a Journey to Self-Realization
With the help of the Guru, it is Purification
Then, we move forward and there is Illumination
Till we arrive at the Truth called Realization
But Initiation is just the beginning, what is the end?
Enlightenment or Spiritual Awakening, ignorance to transcend

Many people are seeking only to be initiated
They blindly follow the myth and make life complicated
Initiation means to question everything and ask, 'Why?'
'What is my purpose on earth and who am I?'
'What was the reason that I came to earth?'
'What is the purpose of my human birth?'

Initiation often needs the help of Meditation
When we still the mind, we start Contemplation
We reach a state of Consciousness
It is Mindfulness, it is Awareness
In this state, it is the Intellect that will shine
We will Discriminate and Realize that nothing is mine

What is this world? It's just a show
We are just actors, we come and we go!
Until there is Initiation, nothing we know
But with the help of a Master, spiritually, we grow
We Realize that the Purpose of life is Liberation
And after Realization, Divine Unification

How do we know, we are on the right path?
Are we fooled by rituals in a religious bath?
Do we believe in the universal lie?
That God is an old man, who lives in the sky?  
Initiation will take us to the Truth of Realization
But for this, we must do Self-Certification

Nobody knows if we are Spiritually Awakened
But the Guru can guide us to be Enlightened
Unless we are honest with the Guru and in him, we trust
Self-Certification won't work, so this comes first  
Obedience to the Guru is a must
To give us worldly desires and give up lust

Other than the Guru, nobody can know
Are we truly Enlightened or we're putting up a show
If with the Guru, there is a Divine Connection
Then, truthful will be our Self-Certification
Otherwise, the Initiation will cause confusion
And we may never reach our destination

What are the things that we must certify?
We must first, find out the truth, 'Who am I?'
For this, we must find out, what we are not
Escape from the Mind and Ego, that ties us in a knot!
When we Realize, these, we are not but we are
'Who are we?' We certify, we cross the bar

Self-Certification is about endorsing, we are the Soul
But this is the Beginning, not yet the goal
The Soul is nothing but the Divine Power, SIP
The Supreme Immortal Power, must be certified on our lip
When God, we are able, in all, to see
Then we can certify, we Realize the Divine energy

The Soul is but a Spark Of Unique Life
This Certification liberates us from strife
But the Soul is nothing, it is God, it is SIP!
We must certify and move forward in this trip
Now, we are sailing on a Spiritual ship
One by one, the Certification saves us from a slip!

Ultimately, what must we get in sight?
Finally, we have to switch on the inner light
Certification is to reach that state of Inner Enlightenment
It is transcending pleasure and achievement
We will pass by contentment and fulfillment
And certify, we are no more slaves of entertainment

Spiritual Awakening is Eternal Bliss
It is a state of Truth Consciousness
It is Divine Love for one and all
And this is certified, when the Ego has a fall
As long as the Ego stands tall like a wall
We can't Certify Enlightenment, we will fall!

Therefore, it is important to read this book
One-by-one, each Certification, will change the outlook
We must be sincere in our Initiation
And with honesty, do Self-Certification
The process is long, there will be Realization
And ultimately, there will be Liberation!

Life has a meaning, it has a purpose
Without Initiation, it will just be a circus
If we just live and then we die
If we are not Enlightened, 'Who am I?'
The Body will die but we will be reborn
We will suffer and this will go on and on

Therefore, today, let us start our Initiation
Not delay our Journey of Realization
For this, we must first get an Enlightened Soul
Getting the right Guru achieves half the Goal
Then, the Spiritual Journey must go on
Nothing must stop us from dusk to dawn  
  
Ultimately, at death, happens one of the two things
Initiation is the one that Peace and Bliss brings
If there is no Spiritual Awakening, there will be reincarnation
But Enlightenment is the result of Realization
We have time, let us make a choice
Let us not delay, let us be wise!

The world will move on
When your day comes.
The wind will still blow,
The moon will still shine,
And your tiny footprints
Will be wiped away with ease.

When that wind blows next,
And you feel the warmth of moonlight
on your skin,
Realize, you still have a chance
To soak it in.