Today I said my final goodbye
and did I mention how beautiful you were?
it was if you slept right through it all
not even realizing you're not here with us
I hugged your dad too tightly and said Katie taught me about God
I didn't know what else to say
but I said how I most remembered you
and I like remembering you that way
Your family has a strong link of faith
now I see how that's what you became
And though I lost my composure on the sidewalk on such a vibrant sunny day
I know there was no struggle
I know there was no pain

You hair was fire a gold; not just red (it was always my favorite part about you, not sure if it was something I ever said)
laid upon either side of your shoulders in a soft curl and draped around your face
Your nails were painted red and green
and you wore a red blouse with a beige scarf (wrapped loosely upon your neck with grace)
Stunningly beautiful you were
the most perfect I had ever seen
even in death, your radiance shone bright beyond the seams

Although my tears come and go,
and the sadness come what may
I know you had to go
and I know we had to stay
but we will meet again my friend
I will see you again one day

I'm trying to put on my eye liner
you know, get ready for the day
but these tears will not stop falling
and your smile never fades away
Instead of facing the fact you have died
I'm attempting to go on and live my life
but all I can do is cry

Love, is it the way you make me feel
Like you’re the only thing that’s real.
Is it the softness of your eyes,
Never telling me lies.
That soft brown glow
Oh, how it shows.

You’re the one who always cares
When all the world can do, is stop and stare.
You’re the one who’s there for me
When others just won’t let me be.

The guys who came, the guys who past
You’re the one that always lasts.
Through death, through life
You’ve helped through strife.

You’ve been here all the while.
Stopping those tears and making me smile.
Giving me one last chance, one breath more
Keeping me from my internal war.
Till night, my deary
My love. My Friend. My beary.

A name chosen well for you.
Every time I visited my friend,
your little feet would pit-pat-pit
right straight up to the door.
ESPECIALLY when mom came.

My friend was allergic, and
you absolutely loved my mom.
So we welcomed you with open arms
and very open hearts into our home.

When I first saw you in the house
it was strange, I wasn't used to hearing
your pit-pat-pit towards our door,
but it would be a sound that I would
give anything to hear one more time.

For six years you brought light into our house.
Sometimes you were so obnoxious,
and other days you were quiet as a mouse.
But no matter what, we loved you.

I watched you today, as the thunderstorm
went on. You were always afraid of them,
I needed to make sure you were okay.
I handed you food, your water dish,
you wanted nothing.

Then you were starting to pass.
My mother screamed and cried
as my brother and I tried to calm her.
She didn't want you to go.

But you had to.

Simple as that.

It was your time.

But we all weren't ready.

The last goodbyes were painful,
I've never seen my father cry like that.
Neither my two brothers, but I guess
that's how important you were
to each and every one of us.

And you lived up to your name.
You lived up to it, to the very last moment.
I love you little dude, and I'll miss you.
Rest in peace buddy.

I want to be a figment of your imagination;
where images of angels spotlessly deceive
a dreamy serpent lady embodying indignation,
and you can't see the difference in between.

I want to be the reality of the situation;
when something happens you can't silence me
and every thought and move has consideration
on the level of difficulty to sit silently.

I want to be the mouse in the corner of the kitchen party;
afraid of bodies, eyes, words, and souls,
I much prefer if nobody is able to catch up to me
since I can't emotionally sail in seas with a ship full of holes.

I want to be a memory you don't regret;
disappointment burns like a thousand candles
'cause I begged myself to be someone you won't detest
but to believe in myself is something I can't handle.

I want to feel free from the memories of failure;
I remember everything that made me get lost at sea,
and it's sink or swim when you're a love sailor
and my lack of proper training proved to be costly.

I want to be the person you think of first;
there is no moment that couldn't be better
without a little serotonin star burst
to ease troubles and keep people together.

I want to feel forgiveness and remorse from you;
the 5 stages of grieving is a healing process
and honestly I don't know if I'm done with step 2,
but I should be on step 3 since I just wrote this.

I still have a hard time not crying
whenever I hear your name
and I still have a hard time facing the fact
that I will never see you in physical form again
I guess when you are faced with the choice of letting go or holding on and you're caught in the middle of an attempt to compromise
emotions you feel equally as strong

Let me replay in my mind that beautiful smile and contagious laugh
before I fully let go and let you be gone
But my mind won't let me forget you
and my heart tells me it's wrong
So please come and see me and know my friendship is beyond true
You took a huge part of the world from our lives when you left us
and we felt you left us far too soon
It will be five months on the fourth of June
and I still constantly, thoroughly, unconditionally think of you
My love for your family is unending and my love for you still remains
even amidst the saddest and deepest of pain
your smile still brings the sun to my rain

Oh Eric, so many of us want to know why;
so many of us desperately need answers
but all we can do is cry
...and carry on your legacy of being kind
...of being loyal
...and having fun
Though sadly your work here is done
God has given you brand new wings
and a perfect set of lungs
So you breathe baby,
you breathe the Breath of Life
and you continue to be the angel you were on earth;
today the angel in our minds
You have left a job behind, but please know it can be done
We stand behind you still
and I speak for everyone
Go where you want to go
and be who you want to be
but most importantly and above all else my friend

Be free

Eric,

be *free